Source: theblemish.com

At the celebration of her legging line, 6126, at Pure in Vegas, Lindsay requested the services of a body double so she could make a hasty retreat from the back of the club in hopes of avoiding the omnipresent paparazzi. Curiously, it didn’t work. Weird. The shoes must have given it away.

Source: theblemish.com

William Balfour, the prime suspect in the Hudson slayings, will remain in prison while police continue their investigation. Not only that, Balfour’s current girlfriend “told police that he told her he had been involved in the killings of Donerson and Hudson.” According to the Chicago Tribune:

Balfour acknowledged being at the Hudson’s Englewood home on the morning that the actress’ mother, Darnell Donerson, and her brother, Jason Hudson, were gunned down inside the house, law enforcement sources said. Julia Hudson’s son, Julian, was abducted from the home and his body discovered three days later, shot twice in the head and slumped in the back of Jason Hudson’s Chevy Suburban on a West Side street.

The Illinois Prisoner Review Board also found Balfour to be in violation of his parole from a July 19 drug arrest.

In related news, last week Julia Hudson, Balfour’s wife/ex-wife? and Jennifer Hudson’s sister, posted a picture on her MySpace with the caption, “Now that Jason’s gone I’m the prettiest one,” two weeks after Jason’s murder. Looks like it’s Julia - 1, Jason - 0. Watcha gonna do, Jason? Oh. Right.

Source: theblemish.com

Because she is pure and virginal, Mariah Carey made Nick Cannon wait two months until after they were married to have sex. Seeing as how Mariah has a gajillion dollars, Nick obliged.

“I definitely don’t want to push it on anybody else. But we both have similar beliefs, and I just thought that it would be so much more special if we waited until after we were married. And it was, and it still is.”

Nick probably had some on the side anyway. If he didn’t, I suspect there was a sea of used Kleenex’s on the ground around his computer that Mariah had to wade through every time she came over. His hard drive was probably full of folders named “naked chicks,” “naked chicks blowing dudes” and “japanese tentacle rape”.

Source: theblemish.com

Jayden James must have got into mommy’s special medicine cabinet because he went into a “vague and unresponsive state” and was rushed to the hospital. Doctors couldn’t tell what was wrong and held him overnight for observation. K-Fed is reportedly flying from Los Angeles to Louisiana to be with JJ. The Daily Mail details:

Sources say chaos erupted when Jayden suffered a suspected seizure out of the blue, at about 3pm yesterday.

‘One minute Britney and her sons were relaxing and enjoying their first visit to Kentwood in months, and the next minute Jayden had fallen ill,’ said a source.

‘He was vague and unresponsive so Britney dialled an ambulance. But she was told it would take half an hour to arrive, and she was best trying to get Jayden to the hospital herself.’

‘Jayden James had to be kept in hospital overnight for observations,’ said the source. ‘We don’t yet know what’s wrong with him.

‘Britney was insistent that wouldn’t leave him. She asked for a bed to be made up in the same room so she could be there at his side.’

A vague and unresponsive state? I’m pretty sure that was Jayden’s last ditch effort to flee his corporal prison. Previous attempts at a physical escape were foiled by his nanny who caught him trying to jimmy open the lock to his room. Interestingly enough, Jayden also pinned a “Do Not Resuscitate” note to his body but since he doesn’t know how to write, it turned out to be a picture of a blue jay instead.

Source: theblemish.com

Wikipedia says Adrienne Bailon is part of a group called The Cheetah Girls on the Disney Channel. I’m not sure what a Cheetah GIrl is but this is important because it sort of makes her a celebrity and TMZ says Adrienne’s laptop was found missing in late October.

She was in JFK when she realized her notebook was gone from her cart. Shortly after notifying the port authority, the thief contacted her and demanded $1,000 for its safe return. Bailon complied and exchanged cash for laptop at JFK airport. Later, however, Bailon discovered that the guy stole a few semi-nude photos of her that she took as an anniversary present for her boyfriend Robert Kardashian.

And surprise. A few of them ended up on the internets. There’s really nothing interesting here though. Just her and her pantiless big ass posing for the camera. I’ve seen steamier pics from a 1950’s sock hop.

Source: theblemish.com

Sometimes Hayden Panettiere looks cute, sometimes not so much. This is one of those not so much times. She looked like a disaster at Madonna’s concert. One part flamenco dancer, one part Princess Leia sex slave, one part troll hooker. I’m no stylist, but if I was, I’d snap my fingers flamboyantly and say in a diva voice, “Uh-uh sista, this ain’t gonna work.”

Source: theblemish.com

Rihanna and her five head performed in Sydney last night and while she was belting out “Umbrella” with Chris Brown, she began feeling sick. She stumbled off stage and, according to Just Jared, passed out.

A rep for Rihanna says she just went off stage to “catch her breath and have some water” due to the extreme heat at the venue. Her rep continued, “She is perfectly healthy and will be at her show tomorrow.”

Her S&M corset must have been too tight. Whenever I wear those things, I always have trouble breathing. Er, I mean. I can imagine if I wore that. Yea, that’s it. That’s what I meant. Not that other thing suggesting I wear that outfit when I’m home alone and prance around in it in front of the mirror. That would be weird, right? I’m definitely not weird.

Source: theblemish.com

Steven Spielberg and Will Smith are currently in talks to remake Chan Wook-Park’s masterpiece, OldBoy, the best installment in his revenge triology. Spielberg’s Dreamworks is currently negotiating for the remake rights. Variety reports:

Spielberg had been looking for an opportunity to make a film with Smith, who would play the kidnapped man if all the pieces fall into place. Spielberg is looking for a writer to begin the development process.

Hollywood sucks. They’ll bastardize this film. Writers will probably water this down for America and change the story to a man seeking revenge after being imprisoned for 15 years because the gun he gave away was used in a robbery-homicide involving some other guy’s daughter, completely eliminating the central theme of incest. Yay for Hollywood! I can’t wait!

Source: theblemish.com

Pink performed at the 2008 MTV Europe Music Awards and ended her hit song “So What” with a pillow fight which left me sexually confused. On the one hand, it’s hot girls in lingerie pillow fighting! On the other hand, it’s Pink. My penis is so flustered it doesn’t know what to do. Right now it’s cycling between giddiness and sheer terror.

Source: theblemish.com

UK, you may have introduced us to Gemma Atkinson and Cheryl Tweedy and we thank you kindly for that. But your good will is completely offset by also introducing us to Jordan Price, Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty, who’s seen here walking to the Monarch pub with his Macbook.

Pete’s nose is busted and he looks like death. If this thing came up to me in a dark alley, my first reaction would be to scream like a little girl and then to make a cross with my fingers in hope that the holy symbol will strike fear into this demon’s heart.

In conclusion, England, you’ll pay for this.

[Image via Splash News]