Source: theblemish.com

Alan “Skip” Panettiere was released on $50,000 bail after being arrested for allegedly abusing his wife. Upon his release, Alan told Extra that it was “a misunderstanding” and that “nothing actually happened.” Extra reports,

“In fact, Lesley wasn’t even aware that Skip had been arrested. Hayden found out about her dad’s arrest when he called her from jail. They love each other very much and want everyone to know that the matter was completely blown out of proportion.”

What about that unexplained mark on Lesley’s cheek? Lesley says she ran into a door and that Skip means well. He’s really a nice guy once you get to know him. To be honest, Lesley says it was practically her fault if you must know. She should have remembered how Skip gets when he’s had a few drinks. Stupid, Lesley. Stupid, stupid stupid.

Source: theblemish.com

Shelley Malil, best known for his role alongside Steve Carrell in The 40-year-old Virgin, was arrested in San Diego on Sunday for stabbing his ex-girlfriend as many as 20 times.

Officials said the attacker arrived at the his ex-girlfriend’s home and found her in the back yard with a man. Detectives said he grabbed a knife and began stabbing her repeatedly and then chased the victim through her home. Her male companion was also stabbed in the hand when he tried to intervene, authorities said.

“Her chin was almost entirely cut off. She had a huge gash in her arm that looked like a really deep wound that was bleeding profusely,” Lee said. “She asked me to hold her and I could feel a lot of gashes in her back as well.”

In his defense, um, I got nothing. You really shouldn’t be stabbing your ex-girlfriend for talking to another guy. Putting a dead fish in her heating duct, maybe, but stabbing? Some would say Shelley may have overreacted just a little.

Source: theblemish.com

The appearance of Sienna Miller at a Malibu gas station caused a gaggle of paparazzi to surround her while she filled her tank. Apparently, the constant questions about her relationship with the still married Balthazaar Getty, the guy she was naked with, finally made her cry. Possibly because of guilt, but more likely because that’s what women like to do.

She broke down shouting “leaving me alone” as the cameras flashed around her.

And when one paparazzo asked about her relationship with Getty, the actress fumed shouting: “I’m just trying to fill up my fucking car!”

“Please, I’m asking you. I can’t live like this, please give me a little bit of respect.”

One time I was pumping gas and this homeless guy motioned to my windshield like he wanted to wash it. Naturally, I shoved him to the ground, dove into my car, locked my doors and sped off. That story is kind of related.

Source: theblemish.com

Britney’s mother, Lynne Spears’, book, Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World, will finally be released September 16. The book is purported to be a memoir about her “backseat role in Britney’s path to fame.” Publisher, Thomas Nelson, says the book will take readers,

“beyond the reach of the paparazzi and outside the narrow orbit of the Hollywood glitterati to share the inside story of the Spears family-as only a mother can tell it.”

The book details:

• Her regret in abdicating parental authority to managers, agents and record companies
• Her response to Jamie Lynn’s teen pregnancy
• The startling events that led to Britney’s meltdown and Lynne’s showdown with manager Sam Lufti

In other words, just another way to try to capitalize off the fame of Britney and Jamie Lynn. There’s no doubt that if Jamie Lynn ever became a drug addict, Lynne would write a book about it before she tried to help her get clean. That way, she can write another book right after titled: Beyond the Looking Glass,  How I profited off of my two daughters and bought this mansion, or Bwahahahahhaha.

Source: theblemish.com

Angelina Jolie has replaced Tom Cruise as the lead character in Edwin A. Salt. The spy thriller will be rewritten by scribe Kurt Wimmer (of awesome Equilibrium and awful Ultraviolet fame) in order to accommodate the gender change.

Jolie is close to a deal to play the title character, a CIA officer who’s accused by a defector of being a Russian sleeper spy and must elude capture long enough to establish her innocence.

There shouldn’t be a need for too many revisions. All they need to do is change “he” to “she”. And you know that scene where Tom Cruise makes out then sleeps with a smoking hot chick? You can keep that part in.

Source: theblemish.com

Britney cut two promos with Russell Brand (of Forgetting Sarah Marshall and British comedy things). Much like last year, I won’t be watching this, but the promos are interesting. The juxtaposition of Britney Spears and an elephant was a nice touch. It’s like when girls (Britney Spears) have fat friends (an elephant) to look skinny by comparison. Although, when you think about it, that’s pretty mean. Hey, MTV, shame on you.

Source: theblemish.com

Melissa Theuriau is a hot French reporter constantly being masturbated to by the populace of France (proof up above). She’s also the reason I watched French news even though I don’t understand a word of their devil speak. Now that you know why she’s famous, here she is topless and pregnant at the beach with her husband. Leave it up to that caveman to ruin a perfectly good woman. People call him the Jordan Bratman of France. Just kidding. I made that up. You believed me didn’t you? Admit it. You so totally believed me. Don’t lie.

Photos are NSFW. Click through at your own risk.

Source: theblemish.com

Dating George Clooney isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. After he inevitably dumps you, no one will ask you out again because no one wants George’s sloppy seconds. According to Lisa Snowdon, one of his ex’s from three years ago,

“I’ve been celibate for a year and starting to think I may never have sex again.

“It’s not something I planned but I just don’t get asked out any more.

“Men seem to look at me and think, ‘She went out with George Clooney, what chance have I got?’ ”

“The hardest thing is dealing with people who think I was going out with George to further my career. In fact, offers almost totally dried up. People assumed I wouldn’t be interested in modelling again.”

Oh really? Lisa Snowdon, would you like to go on a date with me? See how I just invalidated her claim? Sounds like Lisa’s just being too picky. You’d think after a year of celibacy she’d jump at the chance of someone like me showing up at her door in a ski mask holding a 24 pack of condoms, grinning, drooling and hard.

Source: theblemish.com

When not filming her reality show, Brooke Hogan likes to post on MySpace. Which is what she did this weekend when she put up two photoshopped mugshots of herself. One read, “Id RaThr B wiTh mY BrOthR 18.” The other read, “Thnk U 4 Lettn Me B MahSelf.” Accompanying the two pictures was a blog entry.

LOL poor press and clingy gossip lovers….

It’s so funny that the smallest thing I do can jack up everyones day…LOL sorry I ruined your little gossip world today people………or did I give you something else interesting to cling to for your boring worlds? Stay tuned! I might go shave my eyebrows tomorrow! Lets see what other fun things I can think of…um…. don’t you have a life to live? I know I do! Peace!

Love Always, Brooke

I don’t get what’s going on. Did I miss something? What “jacked” up everyone’s day? Did her testicles finally drop? My life is meaningless if I don’t receive hourly updates on what Brooke’s doing. My god, someone please tell me what happened. I… I don’t think I can stand not knowing. Ahhhh!

Source: theblemish.com

Chef from South Park has died! 65-year-old Isaac Hayes, best known for voicing the sex obsessed cook on the Comedy Central cartoon and making that devil music, died next to a treadmill at his home at 2:10 p.m. Sunday.

“The family had last seen him about noon,” says Steve Shular, public information officer for that office. “Family members had gone to the grocery store and left him home. When the family came home around 1, his wife’s cousin found him lying on the floor in the basement near a treadmill. The treadmill was running, so it is believed that he had been working out.”

Yet another reason not to workout. I rather die in ecstasy eating a bacon cheeseburger than die panting heavily on some sort of torture device. Also, not to be a dick or anything, but it would have been funny had he died while running at a 9 on the treadmill. His body would have shot into the wall and the whole thing would have looked like the video below. Of course, his body would have been more limpy.