Source: theblemish.com

Rihanna thinks Chris Brown leaked those nude photos of her all over the internet so now she’s devised an elaborate revenge scheme which involves leaking unflattering nude pictures of Chris Brown. So clever.

‘She has less than flattering nude pictures of him that she plans on leaking, says a well-placed source. ‘Rihanna says he’d be really embarrassed by them.’

‘Another thing she’s been talking about is spreading rumours about Chris,’ says the friend. ‘She wants to ruin his sexy image by letting it be known that he was a bit of a novice in the bedroom when they met and that she taught him everything he knows.’

In theory, finding out that after Chris prematurely ejaculates over your thigh, you might be used as his post-coital punching bag for thirty minutes to vent his frustrations out on might be the proverbial nail in the coffin. Judging by the comments from fervent fans, however, Brown could stab a newborn kitten with a screwdriver and they would somehow reason that the cat deserved it and that we shouldn’t be too hard on him because he has a nice ass.

Source: theblemish.com

Megan Fox is in Tokyo for the premiere of Transformers and to answer your question, yes, I would make Megan Fox show up at every premiere regardless of whether she’s in the film or not. I’d also make her lick her lips after every autograph she signs. That’s just how I roll.

Source: theblemish.com

When I heard about the details surrounding David Carradine’s death, the first thing that jumped to mind was sexual perversion gone wrong. BUT, the second thing that popped into my mind was highly trained kung fu assassins who made it look like sexual perversion gone wrong. It seems David’s family lawyer, Mark Geragos, agrees. Per The Post:

In a twist that could be straight out of one the “Kill Bill” star’s movies, attorney Mark Geragos suggested that Carradine may have been killed as he tried to uncover groups working in the martial-arts underworld.

The secret societies of martial artists should be the first place they start looking for answers, said the prominent Hollywood lawyer, who has represented Michael Jackson, actress Winona Ryder, wife killer Scott Peterson and singer Chris Brown.

The bizarre claim was made on “Larry King Live” on CNN Friday after a panel member said, “David was very interested in investigating and disclosing secret societies.”

“Absolutely,” said Geragos.

“What that means is connected to martial arts and his interest in martial arts,” he continued. “And so there is a suspicion that if there was some foul play, that that may be the first area where they should look.”

Yes, because when you find someone slumped in a closet dead with a rope wrapped around his neck and genitals, you don’t think he slipped during auto-erotic asphyxiation, you think he was murdered by a secret society of highly trained assassins who exist only in shadows. The same assassins who must have ate my last slice of pizza and went through my garbage last night. That’s why on my bulletin board of suspects, I have X’d out a picture of a raccoon and replaced it with a picture of a big question mark.

Source: theblemish.com

Get the Flash Player to see this player.

I was going to make a lengthy post mocking Bret Michaels for almost killing himself at the Tony Awards after walking into a slowly descending set piece, but I realized that words couldn’t do this video justice. Bret Michaels almost getting crushed juxtaposed with the song that they cut to is like America’s Funniest Home Videos if it was run by the internet. The only thing that would make it better is if they played him out with Keyboard Cat. I’m sure someone is working on that version right now.

Source: theblemish.com

Over the weekend, reports claimed that Heidi Montag was rushed to the hospital for “convulsive vomiting” after she was forced to sit in a dark room for a day and a night with only water, rice and beans as punishment for trying to leave I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here. One contestant compared the place to “Guantanamo Bay.”

At the hospital, Heidi was “diagnosed” with a gastric ulcer. The erroneous report continued that Heidi and Spencer wanted off the show, again, and this time wanted to sue NBC. The only problem with that is they signed a contract and their passports were taken away.

Today, an insider tells Extra that Heidi is a liar. They say the two attention whores stayed in a hotel for 3 days while they stayed in the “Lost Chamber” for 14 hours and that the chamber posed no threat at all.

“Accusations that Heidi and/or Spencer were harmed in any way are untrue. They quit the show last Monday; stayed in a hotel for 3 days. Then on Thursday, they re-joined show and entered the ‘Lost Chamber.’ They stayed in Chamber from 4:30PM until 6:30AM.”

The source insists the Lost Chamber posed no harm to the “Hills” duo. “The environment in the “Lost Chamber” was not in any way harmful or dangerous; no critters, just a few ordinary bugs. They were indoors — never in any danger or facing life-threatening situations. Absolutely no one is or was being held against their will.”

Just for that, they should throw her in a real chamber filled with big non-poisonous scorpions and spiders with painful bites. But call it the awesome fantastic chamber so it doesn’t sound menacing. That way when Heidi is in there she won’t think it’s too bad. Until she starts getting stung and bitten and it starts feeling like she’s being stabbed with a hot, searing knife.

At that point she’ll probably start yelling stuff like, “This room is neither awesome nor fantastic and certainly not awesome fantastic.” But then the viewers, who are all sitting in egg shaped chairs stroking their white cats, will respond, “Oh, but it is, Heidi. It is to us. Muahaha. Muahahahha.”

Source: theblemish.com

As you stare at these photos of Kelly Carlson shooting scenes for Nip/Tuck in a bikini, just remember that she gets paid far less than the person in the post below. Doesn’t seem fair, does it? I thought Hollywood was all about rewarding attractive people who have a bare minimum of ability like the ad I posted on Craigslist looking for an “actress” said. You’d think I’d revise my ad now that I know this, but no, I bought this HD camera to trick a hot chick into having sex with me in exchange for a starring role in my fake film, not an ugly chick.

Source: theblemish.com

It amazes me that Britney’s people are still under the impression that they can market her as “sexy”. I assume that’s what they’re attempting to do in these leaked photos from the set of her new music video for Gimme More. These are about as erotic as shots of a naked, weathered 50-year-old housewife cleaning the front porch window with a squeegee. Just look at the header pic. Not sexy at all. It looks like they were waving a chewy chocolate chip cookie in front of her to get her to do this.

Source: theblemish.com

Megan Fox is refusing to name names, but she claims that ever since she got famous, she’s sat down with legends in Hollywood to discuss potential roles only to be propositioned with the casting couch. She tells Britain’s GQ:

“Any casting couch s**t I’ve experienced has been since I’ve become famous. It’s really so heartbreaking. Some of these people! Like Hollywood legends.

“You think you’re going to meet them and you’re so excited, like, ‘I can’t believe this person wants to have a conversation with me,’ and you get there and you realise that’s not what they want, at all. It’s happened a lot this year actually.”

She says, “There are some guys, talking about actors who have been in the business for a while, who are very egocentric and have been able to sleep with a lot of girls for whatever reason, and because they don’t know me they think I’m going to be this little cupcake, this Marilyn Monroe type who’s going to bat my eyes and be like a receptacle for them.

“I just shut them down immediately, right in front of people. It’s been so long since someone has told them no, they don’t really know how to deal with it. Because of this non-reality they live in, they’re f**ked up, psychologically.”

You know, I could see George Lucas doing this. Like, Megan Fox would go to his ranch or whatever all excited and the first thing she sees when she steps into his office is him with his pants down laying on his side on his Chewbacca fur-lined couch with a rose between his teeth. That image will haunt Megan for the rest of her life.

Source: theblemish.com

Guess who made an appearance in the Italian version of Gay Quarterly? Bar Refaeli. It takes a lot of effort to make me not want to jack off to photos of Bar, but by golly, Italian GQ has done it with this vintage style shoot. There’s only one of her in a bra. Only one. And this is supposed to be a men’s magazine? Are they scared of vagina or something? Because that’s what it seems like. GQ needs to understand that guys don’t care about all this artsy crap. They just want to see tits. The higher the quality and the easier it is to print out and paste on our dolls the better.

Source: theblemish.com

If she’s not stalking her ex across the world, she’s getting wasted at clubs. Here’s Lindsay exiting Cuckoo club in London looking like she’s one step away from passing out in a gutter. If you gave her a breathalyzer, the machine would start counting from .001 to infinite really quickly before exploding.