Source: theblemish.com

The ratings for Denise Richard’s E! reality show are as low as ever. That means it’s the perfect time to get back with Richie Sambora. People will watch that, right? Well, you won’t find out because Richie isn’t even taking her calls.

Insiders say Denise started phoning and texting Richie nonstop, begging him to rekindle their romance, and he talked to her patiently at first – telling her he’s just not interested, and has a new relationship cooking.

Denise, refusing to take “NO!” for an answer, told pals she’s furious at Richie – yet won’t stop phone/text-stalking!

Although I’ve never watched Denise’s show, I’m sure it’s awful. However, here’s a suggestion on how to boost ratings. Kill herself. It sounds counterintuitive, but gosh darn if it might not just work.

Source: theblemish.com

Mariah Carey is in Snoop Dogg’s forthcoming video and if her huge breasts are any indication, it’ll be amazing. “This is more exciting than walking on the moon,” exclaimed Buzz Aldrin and his boner. More after the jump.

Source: theblemish.com

To all the practicing nerds who have been praying at an altar of Marvel and DC action figures and giving them offerings of baby tears and twinkies for a crossover movie, your wish may soon be granted. Page Six speculates that a DC/Marvel crossover movie is in the works. Based on the fact they ate lunch together.

Last week, Marvel man Stan Lee, who created “Spider-Man,” “Iron Man” and “X-Men,” had lunch at the Polo Lounge in Beverly Hills with DC Comics producer Jon Peters, who brought “Batman Returns” and “Superman Returns” to the big screen.

Two producers from different universes meeting for lunch? Something is afoot. Although, if Jon Peters has anything to do with a film of this magnitude and the stories about him are true, expect a transgendered Punisher fight Super Girl (who now has three breasts). I’ll let Wikipedia explain.

In his Q&A/comedy DVD, An Evening With Kevin Smith, writer/director Kevin Smith relates an anecdote about when he was hired to write a draft for the new Superman movie, which would have been called Superman Lives. According to Smith, Peters demanded that Superman was not to appear in his iconic costume, nor fly. He also instructed Kevin Smith to include a gay robot sidekick to Brainiac and a fight scene involving Brainiac and a pair of polar bears, and insisted that the final act of the film must consist of Superman fighting a giant spider which would be unveiled to Superman in a scene reminiscent of King Kong’s reveal in his titular film. Later on in the DVD, Smith notes that the summer after he worked with Peters, he saw Wild Wild West, a movie produced by Peters, which similarly contained a giant mechanical spider.

Source: theblemish.com

If you’re stuck in the 90’s organizing pogs into neat, orderly piles in your parents’ guest house, then have I got news for you. Jenny McCarthy is in a bikini playing with a stuffed chicken. However, with good news comes bad news. She’s no longer on MTV’s Singled Out, Kurt Cobain is dead and long, greasy hair is no longer attractive. It never was. Sorry to have to be the one to tell you.

Source: theblemish.com

When John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston first started dating, sources said John thought of it more as a summer fling. Yet, news today that John dumped Jennifer is somehow still found shocking. The Mirror writes,

“There’s been a bit of tension for some time,” says a source close to 30-year-old John. “They initially opted for a break, hoping a trial split might make them stronger. Sadly it doesn’t seem to have worked.

“John took the decision to end things as he felt he just wasn’t ready for the level of commitment that Jennifer deserved.

“Contrary to reports, Jen didn’t want to have kids or marry this year, but she did want to set a timetable for their future together.

“She also wanted him to assure her he would cut down his tours in the future when they did eventually have children.

“Initially, Jennifer was furious when he told her of his decision but now she’s simply sad - not to mention a little heartbroken.

It’s best to end a relationship when your girlfriend stops talking about fellating you on a mini-golf course and starts talking about un-sexy things like timetables. Unless “timetables” is code for two chicks at once, it’s time to leave before conversations become even more asinine. No, you don’t look fat in that. Yes, I slept with your sister. Yes, I ran over your dog. Blah, blah, blah. So, what? Let’s talk about something interesting, like anal.

Source: theblemish.com

Rihanna and Chris Brown are vacationing in Barbados which means it’s a good a time as any to get Rihanna into a bikini and ass up on an inner tube/raft thing. I won’t lie. These photos are pretty hot even though in one of them she looks like a zombie searching for brains.

[Images via Splash News]

Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton has been been sued by the distributor of National Lampoon’s Pledge This! for failing to adequately promote the film. Paris was paid $1 million and made executive producer, but according to the suit, part of her contract required her to advertise it.

Oh, she starred in it alright, playing sorority queen Victoria English. But, per the lawsuit filed today in U.S. District Court in Miami, Hilton—who was also listed as an executive producer—owes $75,000 in damages for failing to provide “reasonable promotion and publicity” for the movie.

It’s not clear what the distributors were expecting. A viral marketing campaign rivaling that of The Dark Knight’s? Paris’ idea of film promotion is to stand on the red carpet, shove a banana down her throat and proclaim, “That’s hot.” That’s what she calls her “full service treatment.” I’d be surprised if she even remembers she was in a movie. I’m convinced she begins every day with only a rudimentary knowledge of life and must relearn basic things like why you can’t eat steak with a spoon and that breathing lets you not die.

Source: theblemish.com

Darren Aronofsky’s new film, The Wrestler, stars Mickey Rourke as a retired pro wrestler pummeling his way through independent shows for one last shot at his rival. Marisa Tomei also stars. As a stripper. Not sure what that has to do with wrestling. Maybe wrestlers, like normal people, enjoy unwinding at the local strip joint after a hard day of fake fighting/body hugging similarly half-naked, oily spandex fetishists. I suppose it makes their profession seem less homoerotic.

Source: theblemish.com

Sorry for the low quality, but it’s hard to take good shots with just one hand. Check out the header photo though. There’s something anatomically incorrect about it. Like Paz is missing an ass crack. Was she born without one? It seems this picture gives us definitive proof that this is the case. Pictures never lie. Also, don’t you feel sorry for the kid in the last photo? He’s been afflicted with the dreaded pixelated face syndrome. His god is a cruel god.

Source: theblemish.com

Here’s 16-year-old Selena Gomez at the beach in a bikini. Most of you shouldn’t be staring at this because it looks like you’re already ten minutes late for your scheduled court hearing.