Source: theblemish.com

Unless you’re seducing Scrooge McDuck, it’s inadvisable to do what Katie Price did to her lips. If I was on a bench and Katie walked by me, my first though would be to throw bread crumbs at her.

Source: theblemish.com

According to Bill Zwecker of the Sun-Times, John Mayer didn’t dump Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Aniston dumped John Mayer. Bill’s “best Hollywood sources” swears to this. Um, okay.

It was “Jen who decided to move on,” says the friend. “She is very fond of John and has thought he might be the one. She finds him funny, sexy and very talented. … Plus he understands all the aspects of living in a fishbowl. But in the final analysis, she just got tired of his roving eye.”

Apparently, Aniston gave Mayer a “three strikes and you’re out” ultimatum — after learning about his “quickie” flings with a cocktail waitress and a promoter’s assistant for his concert tour.

As I understand it, Jennifer dumped John because John was sleeping with other women. Doesn’t that mean John dumped Jennifer? Maybe they were never together and Jennifer, still suffering post traumatic stress from her break-up with Brad, created this fictional world where she turned her friend with benefits into a monogamous, meaningful relationship or, alternatively, no one wants stay with her dumb, boring ass.

Source: theblemish.com

Ernest Borgnine made an appearance on Fox & Friends where they asked him what his secret for looking so young was. Ernest, smirking, with a firm grasp on the interviewer, whispered in his ear, “I masturbate a lot.” Nice. Nothing is hotter than imagining a 91-year-old man hunched over in the Fox green room abusing his crotch. If I were the interviewer, I’d find out whether he’s left or right handed because dude just put his grimy mitts on his shoulder.

Source: theblemish.com

Jena Malone showed up at the Tropic Thunder premiere with this haircut. And since stereotypes are awesome, I’m going to say that she’s gay and that’s her girlfriend next to her. Being a lesbian is the cool thing to do in Hollywood now. Especially if you make a sex tape. Please take that into consideration Jena and hot blonde chick.

Source: theblemish.com

Earlier, Variety reported that Angelina Jolie replaced Tom Cruise in Edwin A. Salt, soon to be renamed Edwina A. Salt. In a futile attempt to sway public perception that Tom Cruise isn’t as big of a star as he once was, a mysterious source tied to the film now says Cruise was never locked and, while they did offer him the role, he actually passed.

“This story about Jolie taking over is completely false … this started with an inaccurate report months ago that said (Cruise) was taking the role,” says the source. “They courted him for almost a year for this movie. He considered it but passed.”

Yea, I’m sure he passed. That’s exactly what happened. Just like Cruise passed on the next Mission Impossible movie after Paramount called him too old and too expensive. Similar to how I passed on a date with Marisa Miller after she slapped me in the face. Way too aggressive, I thought. I like my women with less testosterone.

In other Tom Cruise news, MGM has announced a December, 26, 2008 release date for Cruise’s suspense film, Valkyrie, directed by Bryan Singer. The film is a WWII-era thriller about the planned assassination of Hitler. December 26th. Why, that’s the day after Christmas and the middle of Hanukkah. What an unexpected coincidence.

Source: theblemish.com

Helena Christensen is currently vacationing in Eze, France where she’s enjoying being old. And as old people are apt to do, she’s carefully tip-toeing across the ocean because one can never know what danger lies underneath that six-inch deep water. There could be seaweed, a tiny crab or, god forbid, really rough sand.

Source: theblemish.com

The creator and executive producer of Desperate Housewives, Marc Cherry, so desperate for ratings (hehe, see what I did there? I’m awesome) has revealed that Eva Longoria is trying to get pregnant with Tony Parker. There are rumors that Eva is already pregnant, but Marc said those pictures of Eva looking ugly and fat are part of the storyline for the show’s next season.

“Gaby is having a very tough time being the mother of two overweight, hyperactive children,” Cherry revealed of the show’s next season, which advances five years. “But Eva is having a marvelous time playing her!”

If Eva ever gives birth, that thing will take one look at her without makeup and claw their way back into her womb. But, knowing Eva, she’ll grab it by the leg and drag it back out to have their picture taken by the surrounding paparazzi. I wouldn’t be surprised if Eva told them to get closeups of her dilated cervix.

Source: theblemish.com

Rumors are floating around that Ali Lohan got implants. Lindsay didn’t take too kindly to these accusations. In fact, they made her sick.

hey everyone..
i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.
so, here’s the visual…
me and my friend Patrick walking into a store, and two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me…
one of them being, “Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?”
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my response simply was, “Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!”
i was caught out of nowhere so i didn’t really come up with the proper response at the time.. there’s many other things that i felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money!
All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.
i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet!
It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye…
i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.

If you think about it, whoever came up with this rumor is a weirdo. They must have spent countless hours staring at this 14-year-old’s breasts to come to this conclusion. They also fail to take into account puberty. Personally, I’ve never experienced it myself, but I hear the bodies of boys and girls go through changes during this time. Sort of like when Peter Parker turned into Spider-Man, but less superhero-y and more uncontrollable-erection-in-the-middle-of-class-y.

Source: theblemish.com

A 28-year-old woman by the name of Kelli Dawson (the stoic woman above) has come forward to In Touch (where else!) and confirmed that she and Casey Aldridge, 19, were hooking up while Jamie Lynn was six months pregnant. In fact, Kelli still sees Casey. “I see him all the time, at least once a week,” she shares. Kelli even shares her romantic cradle robbing story.

“We were both really attracted to each other,” Kelli reveals. “He totally instigated it and pursued me. His friends would tell me that he liked me, that he thought I was pretty.” The couple saw each other a few times and “kissed randomly,” but it wasn’t really “hot and heavy,” Kelli admits, until the spring of 2007. Though Casey and Jamie Lynn were still involved, Kelli insists, “You never knew if they were broken up or not, because it changed from day to day!”

The relationship broke off a few months before Jamie gave birth because “it just didn’t feel right.” After all, Kelli has morals. What kind of woman would sleep with a soon-to-be 19-year-old father. Kelli holds herself to a higher standard than most people as you can clearly see.

Source: theblemish.com

R&B singer and rumored P. Diddy arm candy, Cassie, pierced both her nipples in defiance of breast cancer, of which her mother is a two time survivor. Take that you stupid cells. Cassie reasons:

“I got my piercings before I got my results, like positive energy… I think it’s sexy. I’m proud of them.” “I’m sitting there with my parents, my mom’s sobbing after she finds out that I don’t have the gene, and I’m like, `Guess what, mom and dad, I got my nipples pierced.’

“It was nerve-racking because I was like, `My mom’s going to kill me if I have this gene and I got these things.’”

Cancer doesn’t stand a chance against illogical reasoning. You dare divide at an uncontrolled rate? I’ll divide YOU at an uncontrolled rate. Because like my father always said, “the best defense is a nonsensical offense” and “I think I can see Cassie’s nipples.”