Source: theblemish.com

Immature guys like me can never get their mind out of the gutter and often look for double entendres in everything people say. It makes the day go by faster. This is a good one to end the week with. Kate Winslet talked to EW about how it was weird to have her husband direct a sex scene between her and her best friend, DiCaprio, in their upcoming film, Revolutionary Road and how she was pleasantly surprised that the chemistry was still there.

“I hadn’t realized how much my chemistry with him since Titanic would still stick,” she said. “It’s great to discover we can just slip right into it, like muscle memory.”

Kate probably insisted on penetration. For realism, of course. Serious actor and all that.

Source: theblemish.com

I don’t know much about Autumn Reeser except that she was in The OC and is now in Maxim magazine. To a few people that means something in the same way keeping G.I. Joe action figures in their original packaging means something. That might not make any sense to you, but if you read this far already without looking at the pictures, you might be gay.

Source: theblemish.com

If you were going to get Madonna a card congratulating her on her 50th birthday tomorrow, I suggest you go ahead and do it. It would really piss her off. The Mirror says She-Hulk has banned any mention of the number 50 at her party, instead, insisting everyone say she’s 36. Why 36? Because members of a zany religion say so.

Well, using ancient techniques known only to a select few, the high priests of Kabbalah have calculated her spiritual age by channelling the energy of the poptastic one. And it’s, um, 36.

Guests at her country pile are under strict instructions not to give any cards, cakes or presents bearing the number 50 or face the wrath of the muscle-bound Material Girl.

These ancient techniques they speak of probably involve Madonna putting them in a headlock and giving them noogies until they ripped a fair amount of pages out of their sacred calendar. “Oh, look. You’re right. It IS 1984. Please let go. I can’t breathe.”

Source: theblemish.com

OK! Magazine calls Lindsay Lohan a Faux-mosexual in their thrilling piece about Lindsay’s latest flip-flop in her sexuality (I prefer fun-sexual). Friends tell OK! that while her relationship with Samantha is suffering, she’s been flirting, laughing and giggling with guys. A clear indication that she craves the cock that was once part of her food pyramid.

“Lindsay is the aggressive one in the relationship,” an insider tells OK!. “Sam tries to focus on Lindsay, but it’s never enough.” Another friend adds, “Lindsay has to be the center of attention, or she’ll flirt with other guys to make Sam jealous.”

It’s not surprising that this lasted as long as it did. Samantha kind of looks like a boy. Still, one can only pretend for for so long. I’m sure fisting was great and all, sort of like sticking your hand into a pit of despair, but it just didn’t feel the same to Lindsay.

Source: theblemish.com

Gosh, you don’t think this was an attempt at getting attention do you? I would lose any respect I had for Lisa Rinna if it was. Although, if I started out with zero respect, does it turn into negative respect? Can a person be negatively respected? I suppose I can try. Lisa Rinna, I negative respect you. Hey, it works.

Source: theblemish.com

A decrease in work due to a broken neck, two divorces and providing assistance to family and friends have created a black hole in Ed McMahon’s wallet and are reasons why his Beverly Hills mansion faces foreclosure. But, wait. Donald Trump is here to save the day. Trump plans to buy the mansion and lease it back to Ed McMahon.

Trump, who does not know McMahon personally, said it “would be an honor” to help out the man who spent three decades as Johnny Carson’s sidekick on The Tonight Show. “When I was at the Wharton School of Business I’d watch him every night.”

McMahon, 85, bought the six-bedroom house in January 1990. Down from a peak price of $7 million, the property was listed at a bargain $4.6 million last weekend, according to the Los Angeles Times.

Donald Trump won’t do anything unless he can get publicity out of it. Given two choices: donate anonymously to a charity or be in every magazine for a month by letting Britney Spears take a dump on him, he’d cup his hands in about half a second.

[Image via Splash News]

Source: theblemish.com

Last November, people were disappointed to see the results of Jennifer Love Hewitt’s eat-everything-in-sight and-wear-a-bikini diet. She defended herself by saying she didn’t have to defend herself and that everyone was mean for calling her fat because she’s only a size 2. Except, everyone laughed and said, “maybe a size 2 times 5!” Anyway, Jennifer decided to finally lose the weight to make herself feel better, not because she wanted everyone to accept her.

“I am in a pretty good workout regimen that I like, so it inspired me to keep it up,” Hewitt tells Us. “The energy level and the way I feel now is great.”

“With her, it’s not, ‘I want to look good in that dress,’” trainer Stevie Sant’Angelo tells Us. “She wanted to start moving around because she thought it would make her feel better.

“She told me, ‘They said some rude, mean things, but that’s not why I wanted to change,’” Sant’Angelo says.

Here are a few recent pictures of Jennifer. You can judge for yourself, but have you ever been to a call center where people sit 8 hours a day, only moving to reach for a bag of Cheetos? Then when they do finally get up, they have to flail their arms like they’re on a balance beam to get out of their chair because gravity has made it so most of their fat has settled in their ass causing it to become disproportionate in weight to the rest of their body? Jennifer’s butt is like that, but less so. So, I guess… good job Jennifer?

Source: theblemish.com

These are old, but international actress Marcela Mar walked the red carpet for the premiere of Vicky Cristina Barcelona where thousands of photographers decended on her for the sole reason that she can’t dress herself and can’t be bothered to wear a bra. It was an amazing night filled with mystery and intrigue and a little bit of nipple. Possibly NSFW depending on where you work.

Source: theblemish.com

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Amy Winehouse, confusingly still allowed out in public, was walking down the street in London when a middle-aged woman, concerned for her health, grabbed her. Naturally, Amy spun around, slapped her in the face and cussed her out. The Sun is there with video.

The troubled singer was out and about in Camden when a passer-by grabbed her, seemingly concerned for her health.

But Amy lashed out at the middle-aged woman – giving her a hard slap and screaming: “Let f***ing go of me, d***head.”

As she walked away, Amy carried on shouting at her victim, calling her a “f***ing bitch”.

I read somewhere that every time Amy Winehouse assaults someone or overdoses, an angel gets their wings. Or was it a heroin addict gets a new needle? I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure the citizens of London should be arming themselves with tranq darts in case they ever cross an Amy Winehouse. Shooting her will give them a full minute to escape while she gets high.

Source: theblemish.com

If you’re into dowdy looking girls wearing pink cowboy hats, then you’ve come to the right place. Here’s Selma Blair on the set of Kath and Kim; bow legged, picking her ass and disinterested. Coincidentally, this also describes all of your dates.