Source: theblemish.com

Danny DeVito did an interview with a local Philadelphia news station at 8 AM in the morning with beer in hand, already drunk and hitting on the reporter. This is the guy your mom warned you not to talk to when you were a kid. So, if you’re parent now, feel free to use this as a visual aid. I’m amazed DeVito didn’t put his hand up her skirt to double check she was wearing panties. He showed considerable restraint.

Source: theblemish.com

Bret Michaels posted pictures on his MySapce of the injuries he suffered last Sunday at the Tony Awards when he went into dumbass mode and walked into a falling stage prop. He also posted a rant saying something about how he’s not respected as much as Liza Minneli or Dolly Parton. Laff.

“I find it surprising that a Tony spokesperson would brush off this incident with a comment stating ‘Mr. Michaels missed his mark’ with no mention of concern for his condition. If everyone at the Tonys were aware that Bret missed his mark then they should have been aware enough to stop the set piece from hitting him or at least slowed it down until he cleared the stage. I feel had this incident happened to Liza Minnelli, Dolly Parton or Elton John the Tonys would have at least issued a letter of concern. Bret has performed live, with Poison or solo, for over 20 years and on a daily basis is around pyro, lasers and a moving light show. He understands that there is always an element of risk in any live performance, but Bret entrusts his safety to the crew whose job it is to make sure the show goes off without a hitch and should any member of the band be in harm’s way that they do not complete the gag. However in this situation Bret was not on his stage but was at the mercy of the Tonys. He was performing on the Tonys stage and had the reasonable expectation that that safety of the artist was a priority and at no time did he do anything over the top or outlandish that would have put himself or others in a dangerous situation.”

Whatever. It doesn’t even look that serious. Bret should stop being a baby. I’ve gotten worse injuries playing touch football with first graders. The press release he gave also said he was dazed when the prop hit him and that the full extent of his injuries won’t be known until the x-rays come back. Full extent of what injuries? All he has is a cut on his nose and the inside of his lip. You’re telling me this is worse than having sex with all those disheveled trannies he brings on his reality show? I think this would actually be a good thing. Now he has a valid excuse to not be sodomized by those things he calls women.

Source: theblemish.com

Just a day after her break-up, Paris Hilton has already moved on. To Ronaldo. World famous soccer star. That whore moves fast. From The Sun:

“Cristiano and Paris were all over each other swapping spit the entire night!

“His table needed every waitress in the building to bring all the alcohol he was getting through to him. He spent in excess of $20,000 on champagne and drinks. He was having a great time.”

The Portuguese star left the club with Paris at 3am and drove to Nicky’s pad in West Hollywood.

He was spotted leaving at 5am, sporting trademark grin.

I don’t know who the bigger whore is. Paris or Ronaldo. I wonder if their std’s battled it out for supremacy or did they just meet in the middle in neutral territory to insult each other with “yo momma’s so fat” jokes.

Source: theblemish.com

Yesterday, Keith Lewis and Donald Trump confirmed that they had dumped Carrie Prejean as Miss California USA. The only thing is, they didn’t tell Carrie. She had to find out from Bily Bush which makes it ten times worse.

When Billy told Carrie the news, she replied, “That’s the first time I’ve heard of it Billy. It’s just because of my answer, I think. None of this would be happening right now if I just said, ‘Yeah, gays should get married. You’re right Perez Hilton.’” She still believes her firing was political and not because she failed to meet contractual obligations. In fact, she told Access Hollywood that she was on her way to make an appearance at the Special Olympics in San Diego. See? She showed up for one event.

Carrie had other grievances as well. Per TMZ:

Prejean claims pageant honcho Keith Lewis actually asked her last month if she would take two gigs — appearing on “I’m a Celebrity … Get Me Out of Here!” and Playboy. Prejean says Lewis told her Playboy offered $140,000 for her to pose semi-nude. She rejected both offers.

Prejean also told us she couldn’t believe Donald Trump would say she treated people in the pageant “like s**t.” For the record, Trump did tell Harvey Levin that on the phone earlier today. Prejean said if Trump really feels that way she’s sorry, adding: “I’ve shown respect for every party involved, even when they haven’t shown it back.”

Well, that’s lame. What kind of attention whore would turn down Playboy? I’m beginning to doubt Carrie Prejean’s ability to seek fame through controversy. When she goes to meet her D-list friends at a party sponsored by a D-list alcoholic beverage company (most likely Popov Vodka), they’ll be so disappointed in her. They’ll also have to inform her she violated one of the attention whore commandments: Thou shall not have dignity.

Source: theblemish.com

I’m kind of disappointed that Justin Barth decided to be a gentleman and not cop a feel when he and the cast lifted up Heather Graham. I would have grabbed on to her breast like a hawk grabs on to a field mouse.

Source: theblemish.com

In a Parade interview with Shia LaBeouf, they asked where he got his sense of humor from. You’d expect a simple answer, but no, Shia gave one that would make therapists’ heads spin.

LaBeouf says the source of his humor is from “seeing my parents have sex, smoke weed, my mom being naked … [and] twisted R-rated humor.”

A while back, Shia also told Playboy his mother was the sexiest woman he knows. I guess he talks about his mother a lot because Hot Hits interviewed him too and asked what the weirdest thing he read about himself was.

“That I have sex with my mother on a regular basis… it’s so freaking outrageous,” Shia replied.

How often does one see their parents having sex or their mother naked? The answer is only once or never. The first time it happens, it’s an accident. After that, I’d think the frightening image seared into your mind is enough to make you avoid your parent’s bedroom and any other part of the house all together. You’d probably give yourself a five foot radius you can’t pass during certain hours of the day. Living in the house would be like that movie where once you step into the shadows, you die. Except this is worse because you’re still alive after.

Source: theblemish.com

Remember when Paris Hilton hinted at maybe settling down with her boyfriend of six months Doug Reinhardt? Yea, that’s not happening. Whores don’t settle down. Hilton’s rep told PEOPLE on Wednesday that the fairytale is over.

“In response to the inquiry on whether Paris Hilton has split up with Doug Reinhardt, yes, this is true they are no longer together. They remain friends and ask that you please respect their privacy.”

Turns out the fastest way to a man’s heart isn’t dry humping him all over the dance floor. The good news is at least we won’t be seeing any more of that for a while. The bad news is it’s time to dust off that full body condom now that Paris is back on the prowl.

Source: theblemish.com

Donald Trump relieved Carrie Prejean of the Miss California USA crown. They made sure to note that this wasn’t due to her political beliefs, but because she wouldn’t fulfill her contractual obligations. Trump said Carrie refused to appear at almost 30 events and treated everyone like crap. Prejean has also failed to receive permission to perform extracurricular activities. Not sure what those are, but most likely it involves whoring around.

Although Prejean may no longer be affiliated with Miss California USA, she made off pretty well. She tricked the pageant into paying for her breast implants, managed to insult a flamboyant blogger’s beliefs in front of the world and lied about her modeling career. All in all, Carrie had a spectacular 15 minutes of fame filled with deceit and betrayal. Next up for the former Miss California: a leaked sex tape.

Source: theblemish.com

David Carradine’s death just got more disturbing as Radar reports that five autopsy photos are being offered for sale around the world.

A total of FIVE photos are in existence, RadarOnline.com has confirmed. All of the photos show Carradine nude and strapped to a metal coroner’s table with the autopsy incision plainly visible.

Unsurprisingly, no one has bought them. Mainly because no one wants to see a dead David Carradine lying on a metal slab being cut open. I’m not sure how that would entice any publication. Sure, pictures of where David died and what he was doing/wearing when he died are somewhat coveted, but that’s only because they provide context for his odd death and also people are dying to know where he got those fabulous fishnet stockings from. Do you think they’re designer fishnets? I bet they’re designer fishnets!

Source: theblemish.com

People are saying Cheryl Tweedy Cole is too skinny now. I don’t know anything about that, but she looks pretty hot in these tight leather pants. Plus, her breasts haven’t shrunk so it’s not like the weight loss is adversely affecting her. Maybe health-wise, but certainly not attractiveness-wise. And isn’t that what really matters? I’d like to think it is. But that’s just me. I’m patriotic.