Source: theblemish.com

Continuing with today’s The Hills theme, here’s Audrina Patridge romping around Cabo in a bikini. She’s with her new boyfriend or whatever. Luckily, she’s wearing sunglasses to cover up her doll-like eyes. That way when you stare at her breasts, you’ll feel like just a perv and not a creepy perv.

Source: theblemish.com

I’ll give it to Jennfier Aniston. She may be boring, fugly and still obsessed over Brad Pitt, but at least she knows how to self-deprecate with the best of them. At the Women in Film Awards last Friday, Aniston was presented with the Crystal Award for Excellence in Film and gave a jokey acceptance speech.

“I have a strange parallel with movies I was doing and my life off screen. First, it was The Good Girl…which evolved into Rumor Has It, followed by Derailed. Then there was The Breakup followed by the lighter side, Friends With Money which I thought was on the nose. If anyone has a movie called Everlasting Love With an Adult Stable Man, that would be great! I’m at table six, and my agents are at table 12.”

Actually, that’s true when you think about it. Her last movie was He’s Just Not That Into You. Then she has The Baster which is in post-production and is a pretty accurate glimpse into her future. In development is The Divorce Party which sounds ominous. I mean, it would if anyone could stand her boring ass long enough to marry her again.

Source: theblemish.com

Al Roker was probably pissed off that he had to interview the wastes of space Heidi and Spencer Pratt. Which is why he felt the need to eviscerate them on the Today show. He called them “the poster children for everything that is wrong with celebrity in this country.” He gave up caring 30 seconds into the interview. The exact moment is marked by the big sigh he gives.

Roker then kept trying to get Spencer to admit he’s a douchebag and then talked to Heidi like she was a little girl asking her questions like, “Are you proud of yourself?” Heidi, who probably isn’t, said she wasn’t ashamed.

After the interview, Heidi ran to Ryan Seacrest whining about how Al Roker personally attacked her on live TV and said he might be abusive towards women.

“I was shocked at how rude he was – I was crying afterwards because I couldn’t believe I felt personally attacked … I wanted to say to him, do you feel proud of how you’re talking to me right now? I’m just a young woman and you’re coming at me so aggressively and meanly [sic] and mean-spirited.”

“I just wanted to talk about the show and my experience there and how fun it was, and he just made it a very uncomfortable and awful experience … I really would advise women especially to be careful around him because I feel like he definitely came and attacked me and I did not appreciate that at all.”

Al Roker, in the meantime, went on Twitter and in 140 characters or less, wrote:

Heidi and Spencer are an interesting couple. famous for…being infamous. Bad and vacuous behavior. I think we’re at minute 11 of their 15.

At least this is better than the interview I would have given. Mine would just be me sitting down, smiling at Spencer and then punching him in the face. Of course, I’d apologize right after because I had forgotten to ask Spencer my question, “May I punch you in the face?” In my defense, he would have probably said no.

Source: theblemish.com

According to Holy Moly, police are planning to question Lindsay Lohan regarding $49,000 worth of missing jewelery from a magazine shoot she did in London. Sources say Lindsay seemed a little too interested in them during the shoot.

“She kept going on about the jewels asking if she could have them. We all thought she was joking!”

After realizing their stuff was missing, the jewelers contacted the magazine who told them they had no idea what happened to them. They then contacted Lindsay’s reps two weeks ago, but have heard nothing since. Now they’re handing it off the police.

Lindsay probably stole it. There was a report earlier this month that Lindsay is so poor that she’s been pawning rings, watches and other jewelery at shops like the Beverly Loan Company aka the “pawnshop to the stars”. She probably stuffs it all in her vag so no one notices. Like, she’ll be walking out and there’ll be all this clanking coming from her uterus and security will ask her what that sound is and she’ll tell them it’s her belt and security will say, “But you aren’t wearing a belt,” and then the last thing they’ll hear is “clink clink clink” as Lindsay runs off.

Here’s Lindsay Lohan at the AXE Lounge. Don’t even ask me what she’s wearing because I have no idea. My best guess is she forgot she was going out and on the way there kicked a 9-year-old’s ass for that shirt.

Source: theblemish.com

Last week, news broke that Heidi Montag agreed to do a Playboy spread. Everyone figured it was the next logical step for attention whores like her and Spencer. However, we’ve been fooled.

TMZ reports that Heidi’s Playboy shoot is already done and it’s not that exciting. While she does show skin, two bulls-eyes are covering her tits. In other words, there’s no nudity.

How could Playboy mess this up? It’s not like Spencer and Heidi are master negotiators. They could have given them two options. One was $1,000 to do Playboy clothed. Another would be to do the shoot naked, but they’d get a really heavy duffel bag that looks like it could be filled with money. They’d probably have chosen the duffel bag and would only find out it was full of old phone books after finishing the shoot.

Source: theblemish.com

Anna Paquin went topless on the season premiere of True Blood yesterday (I could have sworn she did this already). So, for those of you who haven’t seen Anna Paquin topless, but really want to see Anna Paquin topless, here you go. Enjoy, pervs.

I haven’t watched last night’s episode yet which is why I had to close my eyes while writing this so I wouldn’t see any spoilers. Please refrain from telling me that that makes no sense. I don’t want to hear a word out of you, you Negative Nancy.

Click the header for the uncensored version.

Source: theblemish.com

Good news. My fantasies are starting to become reality. Those visits to the shaman are finally paying off.

Megan Fox told The Sun that she dumped her fiance Brian Austin Green. Again. But supposedly for real this time. In Berlin promoting Transfomers: Revenge of the Fallen, Fox said, “I’m currently what you would call single I guess.”

Asked who she wanted to eff next, she said: “Oh I don’t know. There is this Korean JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE named RAIN and I’m really on his situation now. I’m trying to fix this up. I’m working hard.”

I hope she wasn’t joking about being single. That’d be pretty mean of her. I don’t like it when she teases me like that. What you got to do that for, baby? Plus, I already sent her a “Congrats on your break-up. Want to have sex?” cake. It’s made of chocolate and Rohypnol.

Anyway, she looked gorgeous at the Berlin premiere of Transformers. It was almost enough to make you forget about the creepy toe-thumbs. If there’s one good thing about breaking up with Megan Fox, it’s that you won’t feel like you’re being jacked off by a three-toed sloth anymore.

Source: theblemish.com

This is 100% fake. It’s most likely a viral ad for the energy that guy is holding. Although, I can actually see someone on Russia’s Got Talent doing this. Just like I can also see some guy bringing a wild bear on the show and trying to wrestle it. Russians are crazy.

Below is a video of some guy knocking himself out from America’s Got Talent. This one is real and that makes it ten times funnier. I like the part where he gets knocked out, his body stiffens and he topples over like a domino. What about you?

Source: theblemish.com

Not sure why I’m up at this godforsaken hour on a Saturday, but here’s Gisele Bundchen doing a Victoria’s Secret photo shoot. These are old since she split with Victoria’s Secret two years ago. Unless this isn’t a behind the scenes VS shoot at all, in which case, hey, what’s that behind you!

Source: theblemish.com

Paris’ epic whore saga continues. A day after sucking face with Cristiano Ronaldo and mere hours after her ex, Doug Reinhardt released this statement: “Doug refuses to take part of this ridiculous media circus. He wishes Paris and all of her future boyfriends the best of luck,” Paris went back to Doug’s house to reconcile. TMZ explains:

But our spies say last night Paris begged Doug to take her back. She told him she loved him and had made a mistake by breaking up with him.

We’re told she was texting him all night and then showed up at his house at 4 AM this morning, banging on his door. Apparently Doug succumbed to her charm … which means he scored.

Dear lord, can Paris go one day without sticking a penis inside her? Her vagina must be exhausted. It probably looks like Kristie Alley after a marathon: Dry heaving, clutching its chest and asking to be put out of its misery .