Source: theblemish.com

Kevin Federline has purportedly turned down $10 million in exchange for giving full custody of the kids to Britney. He is now asking for $50 million which is 1/3 of Britney’s net worth.

“She’s been crying practically nonstop,” says a friend of Brit’s.

I would be crying too. To think that a man like K-Fed could have outplayed me would be enough to make me contemplate suicide. This is the same guy who thinks he can rap and pretends to be all hard because he wears beaters and rocks a big F tattoo on his arm. If you put a SAT test in front of him, he would end up asking for more time and after he finishes, you’d ask him why the paper was full of eraser shavings and had a picture of a flower on it. He would say something about connecting letters being much harder than connecting numbers. I believe his exact words are “Why you gotta be hatin’ on me. You know this ABC shit be givin’ me migraines.”

Source: theblemish.com

If you haven’t seen the Black Snake Moan trailer, then you really should check it out. I posted some stills of it a while back over here. According to IMDB, Christina Ricci plays “a victim of childhood sexual abuse, looking everywhere for love, never quite finding it” which translates into slut. Sam Jackson plays the guy trying to save her. And Justin Timberlake, well, I don’t know what he does, but he’s in it too. In all honesty, Christina Ricci looks almost sexy in that white trashy victimy sort of way. Poster down below.

Source: theblemish.com

The National Enquirer might have a believable tale regarding Lindsay Lohan’s liver. The story they have is that while Lindsay was undergoing her appendectomy, doctors discovered her drinking has damaged her liver. They fluff it up with some voodoo phrases like elevated enzymes and blood work. Basically they’re saying excessive drinking kills the liver. Me and my bottle of Bacardi respectfully disagree. We think it’s a scam doctors use to con money out of hard working folk like us. Need a new liver my ass. The human body was meant to turn yellow, even in the eyes man!

Here’s Lindsay Lohan running around in her bikini while some creepy guy with a big grin on his face stares at her. I think I saw him on that Dateline show.

Source: theblemish.com

A woman claiming to be Beyonce’s assistant sent MediaTakeout.com an email in which she claims Jay-Z is abusing Beyonce. I love mad libs so I decided to fill out all the parts that have been bracketed (ex. [EXPLETIVE]).

I wanted to bring this to MediaTakeOut.com because I know how you all like to put stuff out no matter what it is. So I felt that I should expose Jay for the ugly [pancake] he is.

Seems that for a while he’s had a problem with keeping his hands to himself. Now I’ve never seen him just flat out strike Bee, but too many times have I seem him shove and push her.

At first I thought that it was just a little horse play thing between the two - but once I saw how embarrassed Bee was to be man-handled in the front of me in St. Tropez - I realized that it was no joke.

I’ve been [a whore] and friend for a while now and I’ve always wanted to say something but I never felt it was my place. He treats Beyonce like she’s an object and not a person. The [Asian tentacle porn lover] should be happy that a beautiful woman finally wants and loves his ugly [hairy warty freckly ass] for more than just what’s in his pockets.

They even provided this lovely clip of Jay-Z manhandling another woman. It’s way over hyped. It was merely a love tap by a strong yet gentle hand. At least that’s what the police think. Tee hee.

Source: theblemish.com

Angelina Jolie told French magazine Gala that she would never take a child away from a country where adoption is illegal. However, parents who have had difficulties adopting from countries like Cambodia are shocked by these comments. Jolie failed to mention that she acquired Maddox through a group whose directors went to prison for visa fraud and money laundering related to Cambodian adoptions. As a result, Cambodia has closed its doors to adoption.

“Angelina is not a hero in the adoption community,” Tatiana Beams, a Seattle-based international adoption advocate, told Page Six. Beams said parents and other adoption agents are disappointed Jolie “does nothing, or at least very little, to keep international adoption open and legal for American families and children.”

Jolie = bad? That equation doesn’t work. It’s against nature or something. It would be like giving birth to someone as sexy as me. For I did not come from any womb, I was born from a great ball of light sent to Earth by a higher power. I am here to save the human race by being devilishly handsome and mating with all the sexy females one by one. Don’t ask me how it works, I just follow orders.

Source: theblemish.com

Kelly Osbourne told Britain’s Grazia magazine that her mother, Sharon Osbourne, used to make her and her brother poop in a box which she would then wrap and send to journalists she was mad at. Judging by the hefty nature of Kelly, she must have unleashed 10 lbs. of shit as opposed to her usual 15 lbs of shit comprised of her singing / acting. Wouldn’t the mailman wonder why the package they have smells like ass? Oh, whatever, they’re Osbournes.

Kelly goes on to call Paris, Lindsay and Britney attention seekers (this girl is bright, really). She also tells us she won’t be hanging out with them wearing matching outfits just to get her picture in the papers. Oh yes, Christmas came early for everyone because who wants to see Kelly Osbourne flash her baby maker? Hey sicko, put your damn hand down.

Source: evilbeetgossip.com

Hi Rosie and Donald,

I just wanted to write to thank you for the feud you’ve been having this month. Each morning, I wake up, still a little groggy from the codeine and tequila, punch off my alarm clock, and go to brush my teeth. I stare at my reflection and wonder what there really is to be awake for. My hum-drum job? My boring friends? Dolphins? It seems a bleak existence.

Then, it hits me: maybe there’s a new development in the Rosie/Donald feud!

Did Rosie say something inflammatory on The View?? Did Donald pen a scathing rebuttal? Anything’s possible with you two!!

I run to my computer.

Oh, joy!

Rosie, without fail, you’ve said something ever so witty and perceptive about Donald on The View. And, Donald, you’ve always authored a brilliantly innovative note in response. Each day it is eye-opening. Each day it feels new.

I smile to myself. This is all fascinating.

I care so much.

So thank you, both of you, for bringing a daily dose of Rosie/Donald feuding happiness into my life. Please keep it coming. The American public is counting on you.

Yours always,
The Beet

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Hi Rosie and Donald,

I just wanted to write to thank you for the feud you’ve been having this month. Each morning, I wake up, still a little groggy from the codeine and tequila, punch off my alarm clock, and go to brush my teeth. I stare at my reflection and wonder what there really is to be awake for. My hum-drum job? My boring friends? Dolphins? It seems a bleak existence.

Then, it hits me: maybe there’s a new development in the Rosie/Donald feud!

Did Rosie say something inflammatory on The View?? Did Donald pen a scathing rebuttal? Anything’s possible with you two!!

I run to my computer.

Oh, joy!

Rosie, without fail, you’ve said something ever so witty and perceptive about Donald on The View. And, Donald, you’ve always authored a brilliantly innovative note in response. Each day it is eye-opening. Each day it feels new.

I smile to myself. This is all fascinating.

I care so much.

So thank you, both of you, for bringing a daily dose of Rosie/Donald feuding happiness into my life. Please keep it coming. The American public is counting on you.

Yours always,
The Beet

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

So when I heard that Mary Kate Olsen was in “Factory Girl” I thought that she might, you know, talk or do something of note in the movie. She actually is an extra. Not really even a featured extra just some skinny bitch in the background of a scene. How sad is that…she is quite famous (not for her acting ability mind you) and she ends up not even speaking in her big solo movie debut.

Check it out here…she is in the back in a black dress. I really hope there is more of this because I guess she is playing someone of note but maybe her part was cut. Poor MK…guess “New York Minute” wasn’t the best for your acting career.

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com