Archive for the ‘Victoria Beckham’ Category

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Heil Victoria Beckham

Source: theblemish.com

Victoria Beckham is a fashion maven

I have no clue why Victoria Beckham chose to wear this Nazi-era inspired outfit. She must have been moved by Tom Cruise in Valkryie. She looks ridiculous. It’s like she got real high one night and watched Raiders of the Lost Ark and told her stylist, “I want that,” while pointing to one of Indiana Jones’ Nazi enemies and the stylist just looked at her and went, “Uhhhh, ooooook?”

Victoria Beckham has a new ad

Source: theblemish.com

Victoria Beckham does Armani

Victoria Beckham’s new lingerie ads for Armani came out today. The adverts show her sprawled out on the floor in polka dot bra and panties. The other shows her sitting on the edge of the bed. The perverts at The Daily Mail says you can almost see a six pack. Although, they do suggest she may have been airbrushed. She looks good though. Especially when she isn’t talking.

Meanwhile, Katie Holme’s ad for Mui Mui was leaked on the same day as her friend Victoria’s. For whatev creepyer reason, Katie looks exactly like Posh Spice. God, I hope Tom Cruise doesn’t do a Mui Mui ad ala David Beckham. The last thing I need is Tom Cruise splayed out on the floor in nothing but tighty whities looking at me seductively. Not again, man!

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Victoria Beckham and her shit face

Source: theblemish.com

Victoria Beckham

Victoria Beckham and husband David have been indulging in Geisha facials, here on in to be known as bird poo facials. Victoria, having long battled with acne, says she discovered the miracle beauty treatment after learning the local Japanese women achieved their unblemished complexion by smearing nightingale feces over their faces. When Victoria returned to the US, she found a few salons in New York that offered the $200 facials. The Daily Mail reports, “She tried it and loved how great her skin looked. She also uses a cream derived from nightingale poo at home.”

Did Victoria actually see the Japanese women putting this on their faces or did they just tell her the most ridiculous thing they could think of. Was there stifled laughter when they described in broken English that covering their face with bird crap was the best thing they’ve ever done? Did they at any point after she left chuckle, “Heh heh heh. Stupid wanker.” Because these are all signs that they might not have been 100% honest.

Victoria Beckham cut her hair

Source: theblemish.com

Victoria Beckham

Victoria Beckham debuted her new hairstyle at the Marc Jacobs 2009 Spring Collection show the other day. It’s not very becoming. She’s so confusingly skinny that it’s hard to tell whether or not she just escaped from a concentration camp. This haircut won’t help either. Even homeless people are asking her if she’s alright and offering her a piece of bread.

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Crazed Fan Runs Onto Field to Hug David Beckham

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

A crazed fan bum-rushed David Beckham on the field Monday, hugging and high-fiving the LA Galaxy star.

Beckham looked surprised as the guy was flattened by teammate Chris Klein and then held down by security.  Once Becks realized the ballsy fan didn’t mean him any harm he helped the guy to his feet.

“I was slightly concerned when I first saw him running at me because he didn’t have a smile on his face and he didn’t have a Galaxy shirt on.  So I didn’t know if he was going to come and give me a hug or something else.  These things happen in games all over the world. Luckily, he just wanted to give me a high five and that was the end of it.”

Victoria Beckham is so hot

Source: theblemish.com

Victoria Beckham poses here in two shots for Marc Jacobs. In the first one, Victoria’s all mean and sexy. Rawr. In the second one, she bears a striking resemblance to a Barbie doll, in the stiff, soulless, plasticy sense not in the “I want to do her anatomically incorrect body so bad” sense. Magnificent.

All in all, this seemed like a successful photo shoot for Victoria Beckham. If she was aiming for something that would creep me the hell out.

Victoria Beckham: Powered by heels

Source: theblemish.com

Victoria Beckham

Victoria Beckham talked to GMTV on Thursday and professed that it’s impossible for her to function unless she’s wearing a pair of high heels. However, her penchant for heels doesn’t extend to her home. There she enjoys wearing flip flops. Beckham tells GMTV,

“I’d love to go to the gym,” she told the morning chat fest, “but I can’t get my head around the footwear.”

“When I’m at home with [husband David Beckham] and the kids, I’m always in a pair of flip flops,” she admitted. “He likes me without any makeup on – just looking really natural.”

Victoria Beckham is an idiot without her heels? I’ve always been under the impression she’s an idiot no matter what she puts on her foot, but it makes sense if heels supply her with magical brain powers. And at the same time, it doesn’t. There she is up top walking around in her IQ increasing footwear. Hey, what the? Victoria. The camera is over here. You’re waving at a your reflection.

HmmHmmHmmHmmHmm

Victoria Beckham doesn’t listen

Source: theblemish.com

Victoria Beckham

Life after the Spice Girls hasn’t been easy for Victoria Beckham. Well, it has, she’s married to David Beckham, but I mean. Oh, forget it. Her clothing line is bombing, okay? God, get off my back.

On Tuesday, Victoria made an emergency visit to Kitson because high-end boutiques have been pulling her denim line DVB Style. If you’re wondering, she was every bit of a brat as you’d think she’d be. Kitson owner Fraser Ross said,

“First of all, she came half an hour late, no call or anything. I’m a busy person — don’t know who she thinks she is,” Ross told Tarts. “I told her that she needed to grow up and realize that you can’t just have a line and not support it. Other celebrities do trunk shows and meet customers — she and her fashion publicist Jason needed to be told why her line isn’t selling.”

“She (Beckham) told me that designing is what she still wants to be doing in 25 years, but unless she lifts her game, her time in this city will be short-lived,” Ross added. “She lives 10 minutes from the store yet is happy to go off shopping at Barneys and all these other places but seems to think she’s too good to support the people who support her.”

Apparently, Ross asked her to “show her support” by strutting out with a Kitson bag — but that didn’t go down well with our Posh.

In her defense, 10 minutes is far. That’s how long it takes me to get to the bank. One time I had to go there and I almost died from exhaustion. True story.

BahBahBahBahBah

Celebrity Quote of the Day – Joan Rivers

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

“I dislike Victoria Beckham. The arrogance when she walks into a room is astonishing.”

- Joan Rivers is not a fan of Victoria Beckham.

Katie Holmes and Posh Spice have a lot in common

Source: theblemish.com

Katie Holmes

Katie Holmes and Posh Spice may seem like an unlikely pairing. One is a young movie star married to the creepy Tom Cruise. The other is a plastic creation once thought to only exist in sci-fi movies. But as it turns out, they do share the same interests. That being the sharing of low-calorie meals meant for one. Life & Style via MSNBC says

…the duo shared a green salad sans dressing, one piece of fish and one side of steamed spinach. They also ordered one regular Coke and two glasses of ice.

“Katie poured half the soda into each of their glasses, then filled up the rest with bottled water,” a Madeo regular told the magazine.

Apparently, diet and exercise is a sham. If you’ve ever wondered how celebrities really keep their figure, the trick is not to eat. Which makes you think. Those people in internment camps may have been on to something.