Source: theblemish.com
Whoa. What’s going on here? Tara Reid is in a bikini and I’m not completely disgusted. My hands aren’t trembling and I’m not violently throwing up. She even looks somewhat normal and that thing she calls a stomach doesn’t even have that weird ripple effect like what happens to a cup of water when a T-Rex walks by. What the huh?
Source: theblemish.com
Don’t they have laws against this? Allowing Tara Reid on the beach? This sort of thing can’t be good for tourism. And why must she frighten that poor dog with her disfigured body. PETA needs to be all over this. That’s animal cruelty.
Source: theblemish.com
Tara Reid says that she only began drinking heavily as a way to overcome her shyness. She goes on to claim that the miracle drug also helped combat her insomnia adding that she’d drink to pass out and sleep.
“I felt like everyone was judging me and watching me. I think I drank because it gave me a kind of confidence. When I went out, everyone always wanted to have a drink with me – because I was known as this fun, party girl. I became that person.”
And her plastic surgeries? Well, if she was going to be an attention whore, might as well. Not getting it would be like hitting a home run and only running to second base or in Tara Reid’s case, meeting a guy and not blowing him.
Source: theblemish.com
It turns out even addicts are affected by the economy. Star magazine alleges that Promises, the fancy rehab Tara Reid is vacationing at, is sponsoring Tara’s stay in hopes that name dropping her to the press will boost declining enrollment. Star says,
“Enrollment is down due to the bad economy, so in an effort to drum up publicity, they asked around Hollywood to see who wanted to stay there for free.”
What a great plan. Because if Tara Reid approves of it, it must be good. Right? Not really. Tara has a Pavlovian response to the word “free.” I heard she once ate dog food for a week because Purina offered her a year’s supply.
Source: theblemish.com
Remember how last week Tara Reid checked into Promises Rehab Center? Well, here’s Tara celebrating her birthday yesterday at Rok Bar. You can tell she’s making progress by the big bottle of Perrier she’s chugging and the little glasses of champagne littering her side. Tara Reid, you are an inspiration to all of us.
Source: theblemish.com
The actress with the amorphous stomach, Tara Reid, has checked herself into rehab. No word on what demons she’s fighting. Her people only confirm that “Tara Reid has checked herself into Promises Treatment Center.”
If I had to speculate, I’d say Tara was addicted to being ugly. That’s an addiction, right? Or was that an affliction? Well, either way, Tara has that.
Source: theblemish.com
Tara Reid recently hinted to PEOPLE that she is attempting to breed with her boyfriend Julien Jarmoune.
“I’m ready to make a family. I want two children, a boy and a girl. And a traditional wedding, the big dress, the princess thing. What every little girl dreams of.”
Whoa, whoa. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves here, Tara. You should wait and see what the CDC has to say about this first. Maybe think it through a little as well. Pregnancy is no joke. Especially when your baby is sitting in your diseased womb, arms folded, grumpy, constantly kicking your vagina and yelling, “This is bullshit!”
Source: theblemish.com
Tara Reid doesn’t want to hear anymore of our criticisms. Last week when shots of her in a bikini came out, mouth breathing, basement dwelling netizens (that’s me!) started calling her names like Clay Stomach and Frankentits. The 33-year-old actress told PEOPLE that “I’ve been a media target for years now” and that “It does hurt my feelings, but what can I do? I have to move on.”
Moving on, however, has proved difficult. The ghastly scars on her stomach from a 2004 lipo and a 2006 reconstruction surgery are constant reminders of the past. Tara calls these her “battle wounds.” Everyone else calls it “really gross.”
God, it’s like her stomach is sighing, exacerbated by Tara’s gawky attempts at wearing a bikini. If people make fun of her enough, do you think she can be shamed into wearing clothes? Does Tara Reid even know what shame is? Maybe we can kidnap her, dress her and release her. Afterwards, we can have someone explain to her that the new sensation she’s feeling is dignity.
Source: theblemish.com
If you’ve ever wondered what Tara Reid does for a living, keep wondering because these pictures won’t help answer that question. What they will do is give insight into Tara’s plummeting bags of saline and sad nipples. Whoever is paying Tara to do whatever it is ugly people can do (be a scarecrow?), please provide a clause in the contract for bras. Tara desperately needs them. She has a hard time playing croquet.
Source: theblemish.com
You know that nauseating feeling you get when you smell another person’s vomit? Your stomach starts to churn and you begin to dry-heave? Then you come to the sudden realization that if you don’t leave, you’ll vomit so hard that a foot of your intestine will be prolapsed out of your mouth? Yes? Good. Why’d I ask? No reason. Just wondering.
Oh hey, here’s Tara Reid at the beach again. That butt is something else. I bet if you put those little green plastic army men in her ass folds, you could reenact the trench warfare of World War II. More after the jump. If you dare.
