Source: theblemish.com

According to The Sun, there’s an onset feud brewing between Gwyneth Paltrow and Scarlett Johansson. Scarlett is hogging the spotlight what with her natural sexiness. Additionally, not only was Gwyneth anticipating working with Emily Blunt instead of Scarlett, but now she has put up with being dressed in pants suits while Johansson is running around in the movie wearing catsuits and carrying guns which is how it should be.

One Hollywood source revealed yesterday: “Gwyneth has become very frustrated with Scarlett.

“They come from different worlds and have completely different styles.

“Gwyneth has found Scarlett very demanding of the attention of the crew. It’s not a happy set.”

Gwyneth’s had to live with that and she has been very professional, but she and Scarlett haven’t developed a friendship on the shoot, which is almost at the half way point.

Is it any wonder that Gwyneth Paltrow hates Scarlett Johansson? She’s young, has big tits, hot and is basically the exact opposite of Paltrow. If they were to eat a hot dog, Scarlett would be the one deep-throating it and Gwyneth would be the one cutting it up with a fork and knife. Because she’s a humorless bitch, you see.

Source: theblemish.com

Taylor Momsen is in a band now: Taylor Momsen of Gossip Girl released a demo of song from her new band, Pretty Reckless. They open for the Veronicas this month. In other news, girl punk bands are still popular?

Pageant pays for Miss California’s implants: Miss California Pageant co-director Keith Lewis confirmed that they helped Miss California Carrie Prejean obtain breast implants. They reasoned that they wanted her confidence to be as high as possible for when she represented California on the national stage for Miss USA. The plan sort of backfired when she denounced gay marriage live on television, but they should award Keith Lewis a medal anyway.

Scarlett Johansson sucks as a director: Scarlett’s directorial debut, a segment for the upcoming film New York, I Love You, has been cut from the film. The piece was shot in black and white and starred Kevin Bacon and was “deemed unwatchable.” One insider said “it was really bad, so it was cut.” Then he pinched his nose and held it in the air and said “pee-yew.”

Source: theblemish.com

Scarlett Johansson channeled Dita Von Teese at the Tribute to Cinema in London yesterday. I don’t know how I feel about this. My penis doesn’t like change and as we all know, he governs my brain. If you gave me an MRI scan, the only thing you’d see is a big middle finger on the resulting image, courtesy of my penis.

Source: theblemish.com

I have mixed feelings about Scarlett Johansson’s new brunette look on the red carpet of He’s Just Not That Into You. On one hand, Scarlett Johansson’s hair makes her look alien and kid-like. As in 14-years-old kid-like. On the other hand, I really want to sleep with her. It’s tough being a fashion critic.

Source: theblemish.com

Scarlett Johansson also showed up for the premiere of The Spirit and while her, um, personality wasn’t as impressive as Paz Vega’s, she held her own.

I asked Ryan Reynolds his thoughts on me banging his girlfriend and he told me to go for it. Okay. I lied. I asked the cardboard cut out of him I keep in my room. And he didn’t tell me to go for it. He just stared back at me with his piercing eyes and chiseled abs and I could swear he winked at me. Ryan Reynolds winked at me. Oh glorious day! I’m all yours Ryan.

Source: theblemish.com

Scarlett Johansson is in the new issue of Allure and here are some outtakes along with the published photos. They should have considered using the outtakes. It may have marked the first time I could open up an Allure without being judged by the Von’s stock boy.

Source: theblemish.com

Back in 2006, Lindsay Lohan was a raging, pantiless crackhead screwing everything in site and had more white powder up her nose than Santa Claus when he fell off his sleigh. It was during this downward spiral that Lindsay asked another guest at the Dark Room in New York for a Sharpie so she could scrawl, “Scarlett is a cunt,” on the bathroom wall. Scarlett Johansson remembers the incident to this day and is still confused as to what started this feud. In an interview with Allure, Johansson ponders:

“I don’t know what the motivation was. I remember it was something really vulgar – I mean shockingly so, like, ‘Whoa, what, who are you?’ “I don’t really know that person. I only met her, like, three times.”

Many chalk it up to professional jealousy. Lindsay may have beat Scarlett out for the lead in The Parent Trap but Scarlett ended up the eventual winner in life. Although there were rumors of Scarlett’s rampant whoredom circulating through Hollywood, she kept it classy. Lindsay, on the other hand, decided to be a club scene fixture, drinking the nights away, using eight balls as nasal decongestant and flashing her vadge. Scarlett married Ryan Reynolds and has a blossoming career. Lindsay turned lesbian to become Samantha Ronson’s girlfriend and has no career. As you can plainly see, it’s point, set and match, Scarlett.

Source: theblemish.com

Congratulations nerdalinger, your wet dreams have come true. This month on the cover of the monthly geek bible, Wizard, your Joker or Iron Man or whatever comic book character you fantasize about daily has been replaced by a busty Scarlett Johansson. As an added bonus, there’s also a promise to undress the Silk Spectre which I’m told will be much better than that time they undressed Thor.

A word of warning though. Be careful to hide your raging erection from your mom when retrieving this issue from your mailbox. You don’t want to be given “the lecture” again, do you?

Source: theblemish.com

Scarlett Johansson showed up at a Parkinson’s benefit dressed like this. At least now everyone is getting the shakes. Plus, there’s no better way to raise awareness for Parkinson’s then to show some cleavage. Like my grandpa always used to say, “TIts!”

Source: theblemish.com

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds wed on Saturday night at a wilderness resort outside of Vancouver in front of a small group of friends and family.

If you were planning on stopping this wedding ala Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate, you can forget about it. That sneaky bitch Ryan Reynolds kept the wedding under wraps. I’ll get you for this Ryan. Your good looks, chiseled body and charming personality can’t keep Scarlett and I apart forever.