Archive for the ‘Paula Abdul’ Category

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Paula backpedals

Source: theblemish.com

paula abdul kids choice

Remember that interview with Ladies’ Home Journal where Paula Abdul admitted being addicted to pain killers and spending time in a rehab facility last year? Paula just issued a statement saying Ladies’ Home Journal made it all up.

“I want to make it perfectly clear to everyone that I have never been addicted to or abused drugs in my life,” Abdul said. “I have never been drunk. I have never entered a rehab or detox treatment center.

“I spent time hiking, bicycling, doing yoga and enjoying the spa. As anyone who has visited the La Costa Resort knows, it is a luxury hotel, not a rehab facility.”

I suggest from now on we begin agreeing with Paula whenever she says she’s never been drunk or did drugs. But do it in a sarcastic manner like “Suuuure, we believe you. Uh huh, never been drunk.” Sooner or later she’ll smash a bottle of Jim Beam over your head out of frustration at which point you can shout, “Ah-ha, gotcha!”

Paula is just here for the music, gentleman

Source: theblemish.com


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Idol is all about raw natural talent which is why it made sense for Paula to perform her new auto-tuned single last night by blatantly lip-syncing into two microphones at once while shimmying up and down the stage. It’s confounding why they even thought this was a good idea. If they let Simon comment on her performance, he’d probably have just stared at her, made a clever quip and stabbed himself in the eye with a pencil.

Paula Abdul is a liar

Source: theblemish.com

In 2007, a video of Abdul slurring her way through an interview hit YouTube. Her publicist claimed her behavior was due to exhaustion.

Two weeks ago in an interview with Nightline’s Cynthia McFadden, Paula Abdul denied being an addict, saying: “No, no, no, no, no. Will not take those drugs [she said referring to prescription pain medications] And you can check my medical records there is nothing like that. I was never on Oxycontin or Vicadin or anything like that. I was on nerve medicine and anti-inflammatories.”

But wait. What’s this? In an upcoming interview with Ladies’ Home Journal, Abdul confirms what everyone’s suspected for quite some time, that she was addicted to pain killers. An addiction she went to rehab for last fall. “I could have killed myself,” she’s quoted as saying.

Abdul, 46, said she turned to a combination of painkillers and Chinese medicine to get through the “grueling” dance routines that made her a reigning pop princess in the 1990s. She already had suffered serious back and neck injuries as a cheerleader, dancer and in two car accidents.

“I didn’t want anyone to count me out,” she told LHJ. “I tried to keep everything hush-hush.”

She had regular shots of lidocaine, she said, and by 2005 was diagnosed with reflex sympathetic dystrophy syndrome, which caused disabling pain, teeth chattering and shingles-like lesions.

She wore a patch that delivered pain medication 80 times more potent than morphine, she revealed. She also popped muscle relaxers, had trouble sleeping and would sometimes “get weird,” she said.

80 times more potent than morphine! Isn’t morphine what they use for patients with fatal stab wounds and stuff like that? Imagine something 80 times more powerful than that. Paula Abdul is a beast if she could actually get through the day with that thing on. Normal people would look like those stoner kids melting into the couch on those anti-marijuana commercials. Paula managed to get through six seasons of American Idol. Which is nothing short of amazing.

Celebrities should learn from this. If they’re on drugs or drunk, people will know. They and their publicists treat us like we’re a bunch of idiots. Oh, she was talking like a drunk hobo reeking of Vodka and piss because she was exhausted? Why, of course! I should have known.

Paula Abdul compares Bruno interview to a Japanese TV show

Source: theblemish.com

Paula Abdul, drunk?

Paula Abdul admitted today that she was duped into believing a fake Bruno sit down she did was for real. In an interview with 104.7 FM, she recounts the experience.

It all started with a call that she won “Artist of the Year” in Germany. Because winning things is awesome, she agreed to an “interview.” Paula explains and Us transcribes:

“I’m greeted by this futuristic, Captain Nemo–looking dude with a mohawk — and he’s flaming,” recalls Abdul, who said she never signed a release (her publicist did). “I’m like, ‘OK, this is weird. Is this a variety show or something like that?’”

“So I walk in and there was no furniture except for a chair. And I’m waiting and waiting,” she continued. “And this guy Bruno introduces himself, and I said, ‘Hi.’ And he said, ‘Here, have some food.’ And the food looked horrible! And I said, ‘No, I’m fine.’ And he said, ‘It’s very, very, very good.’ I said, ‘That’s Ok, I don’t want to have it.’”

Abdul said Bruno then apologized for not having furniture for the interview.

“He snaps his fingers and says, ‘Gardeners!’” she recalled. “And these two Mexican guys come in, and they drop down to all fours. I see him paying them like 10 bucks. They drop down to all fours and he says [to me], ‘Sit down.’” And I said, ‘I’m not doing that!’”

“So I’m tipping and holding my core muscles to not sit on them. And he pushes me down on them, and I’m like, ‘I’m sorry!’” she said.

It got even more bizarre, Abdul said, when he kicked one of them and they all fell on the ground.

“It was getting so uncomfortable!” she said. “I’m throwing daggers with my eyes at my publicist. And they’re kicking my publicist out. And I said, ‘Get me out of here. This is crazy. This is not funny, this is discrimination. This is abusive stuff going on here!’”

“And he says, ‘I need you to change your clothes,’ and I said, ‘No, I won’t be doing that. I have to go to work … And by the way, where’s my award?”

Abdul – who had to go to an Idol taping – then dashed out.

“As I’m going to my car, they’re chasing me with cameras,” she said. “And I’m like, ‘Oh God, this is so awkward.’ And I’m trying to hold a smile on my face and the guy, Bruno, is running down the street in front of the car.”

“It was hysterical, but it was so disturbing,” added Abdul. “I was so mad at my publicist at that point. I said, ‘I can’t believe you signed [the release].’ And my manager and attorney were trying to call the production office — and, of course, it doesn’t exist. So I was freaking out.”

A year went by, she said.

Then, her manager got a call three weeks ago from a reporter who heard that she had fallen for one of Sacha Baron Cohen’s stunts.

“I said, ‘I’ve never done anything with Sacha Cohen … they’re wrong!’” she said. “At 2 o’clock in the morning that night, I woke up in a cold sweat. I popped my body up out of bed and I went, ‘Holy crap! Oh my God!’ And that’s what happened. And I’m dying. Cause you don’t expect it. You just don’t expect it.”

Added Abdul, “Like I said, I thought it was just one of those Japanese TV shows where they do crazy things.”

This movie is going to be great. There’s nothing more satisfying than watching a bunch of nitwits get thrown off their game. Especially when it’s Paula Abdul. She’s so easy to trick so you can get away with a lot of stuff. I put a cardboard cutout of Brad Pitt in her bed one time and she spent an hour trying to seduce it.

Paula Abdul got duped too

Source: theblemish.com

paula abdul kids choice

Sacha Baron Cohen’s latest film Bruno will be mocking your favorite drunken AI judge, Paula Abdul. Cohen, in character as Bruno, did a fake interview with Abdul who to this day doesn’t even know she was tricked.

“Paula was totally fooled. She bought into his character and to this day isn’t aware she was fooled,” the insider said. Abdul’s rep had no immediate comment. Universal, which releases the flick July 10, also had no comment. Texas Rep. Ron Paul has already admitted being tricked into a hotel room by Cohen’s character.

When do you think it’ll click that Paula was duped. The opening credits? Half-way through the film? Will she even remember she did this interview? Probably not. She’ll think that they used high tech witchery to transpose her into the film. If you were to ask Paula what she thought of the movie, she’d tell you she was not amused at the liberal use of CGI. This will of course be before she falls asleep standing up.

Paula Abdul has never been drunk

Source: theblemish.com

paula abdul kids choice

In an interview with Nightline’s Cynthia McFadden, Paula Abdul claims she’s never been drunk, has never abused prescription medication and is not feuding with fellow American Idol judge Kara DioGuardi. When asked why she always acts like she’s drunk or on drugs during her reality show and AI, she says that’s just how she is.

“No, no, no, no, no. Will not take those drugs,” she said referring to prescription pain medications. “And you can check my medical records there is nothing like that. I was never on Oxycontin or Vicadin or anything like that. I was on nerve medicine and anti-inflammatories.”

McFadden asked about her behavior on her 2007 Bravo reality show, “Hey Paula,” saying, “There are so many times where you don’t look like you are really there. You’re eyes are closing, you’re head is falling back.”

“Because I’m falling asleep and a camera is on me,” Abdul explained. “I don’t have anything that is shameful. I don’t have anything to be embarrassed about that was not accurate documentation of my life.”

Right. Because Bravo just loves filming people dozing off. I assume Bravo isn’t a stalker so it’s safe to say they weren’t filming her tucked away in bed. More like she was falling asleep during meetings, lunch and walking. Normal people don’t do that. Normal people on drugs, maybe. Look, no one cares if she gets drunk before every show. Anyone would if they had to sit through those two hours of boredom. But don’t deny it. It’s okay for her to admit she’s loopy because she’s intoxicated. It would actually be comforting to know that she wasn’t actually crazy and could one day get stabby on everyone with a knife.

Paula Abdul might get her own talk show

Source: theblemish.com

Paula Abdul

Not content with the obscene amounts of money being thrown at her, The National Enquirer reports that Paula Abdul is in secret negotiations with CBS/Paramount Network Television to launch her own talk show. Possibly debuting as early as next year.

“Paula’s been dreaming about having her own talk show for three years, and she’s ready to make it a reality,” a source close to the star told The ENQUIRER.

Paula envisions the new show focusing on issues that affect average people — plus an occasional celebrity guest, says the source.

Not only that, Paula is renegotiating her contract with American Idol for an increase in salary to $10 million. That retarded number is almost double what she’s currently earning which is $5 to $7 million. If they don’t acquiesce, she’ll start work on her talk show immediately. And even if they do agree, Paula will make sure there’s a clause that says she can have her own projects.

Paula having her own talk show is a good idea. That way the whole world will know how indecipherable she really is. Every week we can have viewing parties with decoder rings to figure out if “Srrrgrrphh flrrrfig” means she’s talking about obesity or summer dresses. We can also take shots until we match our slurred speech with Paula’s. I think I need 15, but my friend says I only need 8. Looks like it’s game on.

Paula Abdul is making new enemies

Source: theblemish.com


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Paula Abdul recently went on Barbara Walters’ Sirius and XM show to air her grievances about American Idol and Paula Goodspeed’s. This was discussed yesterday morning on The View. In Paula’s mind, producers and Simon Cowell were out to get her. Paula alleges they knew Goodspeed was unstable and had been stalking her for 18 years.

Abdul claims Idol producers ignored her protests and only brought on Goodspeed to make drama. Not only that, Simon is sabotaging her by always talking through a piece in her ear which causes her to lose her train of thought which causes her to look crazy when Ryan Seacrest asks what’s up.

These are pretty serious allegations. Good thing they’re coming from Paula. Paula can launch into this long speech decrying the franchise and the only thing Fox has to do is smirk, point at Paula, spin their finger around their ear and go, “cuckoo, cuckoo.”

Paula Abdul is insane

Source: theblemish.com

Paula Abdul, drunk?

It was only a matter of time before reports of how Paula Goodspeed’s suicide outside her Beverly Hills home has affected the mentally unstable Paula Abdul. Page Six reports that Paula has refused to return to her “haunted house.” This was even after she sought the services of “healers” to rid the house of ghosts.

“[Paula Goodspeed] was a deranged stalker who sent her death threats. Paula instructed guards to keep Goodspeed away from her at all costs,” said a source. “She refuses to stay at home because she fears that the spirit of Goodspeed is haunting her house. She feels like this is the absolute worst omen, a really bad curse . . . Paula is suffering. It is well known that she is emotionally fragile.”

A rep for Paula denied this, but everyone knows there’s a high probability this is true. You could throw a sheet over your head and pretend to be the ghost of Goodspeed and Paula would scream in horror, turn around and accidentally run head first into a wall. I think a funny thing to do would be to replace Paula’s regular alarm sound with Goodspeed’s American Idol audition.

Paula’s stalker identified

Source: theblemish.com


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The woman who committed suicide near Paula Abdul’s home has been identified as Paula Goodspeed. Goodspeed was an American Idol Season 5 contestant obsessed with the singer. A.I. even did a featurette on her (video above). Surprisingly, she didn’t make the cut. Mostly because the judges were real jerks. Why couldn’t they have let her sing another song? The first one was obviously a warm-up or some sort of mating call for the legally insane. I had a good feeling about her.