Source: theblemish.com
If you’re into chicks with funky tits, then you’ll love these photos of Lily Allen going topless. Otherwise, feel free to curl up into a ball and try to forget. Lily seems to turn every beach she goes on into a nude one. They should post warning signs like they do for the tide. Whenever she arrives, the sign should warn people to bring their eye bleach.
Source: theblemish.com
While Lily Allen covered Womanizer in LA last night, Lindsay Lohan stumbled on stage and gave her a hug. Lindsay tried singing along, but Lily denied her and then she tried to dance, but Lily turned away. Dejected, Lindsay ambled off the stage. I love happy endings. Seriously, I’ve seen less awkwardness on How to Catch a Predator.
Source: theblemish.com
Lily Allen went off on a paparazzo in London yesterday when one of them accidentally rear-ended her. As soon as it happened, Allen got out of her car, threw a water bottle at him, kicked him and then either slapped or punched him or both. I like how the other photog and her bodyguard have a look of horror and confusion on their faces like they just witnessed some old lady get pantsied.
The photog being attacked only looked mildly annoyed like when a kid beats on you with one of those foam baseball bats. Being rejected at a bar probably hurts more than what Lily’s doing. She is feisty though and doesn’t seem to have a lot of quit in her. You’d probably need a lot of rope to keep her strapped to your bed. Heh heh heh.
Source: theblemish.com
Lily Allen claims she’s getting hit hard by the recession and is “completely broke.” Allen has gone so far as to sell off her $50,000 BMW to pay her debts. The banks won’t even front her money for royalties she has yet to be paid for because no one is lending.
“I’ve been hit big time by the credit crunch. Actually, I’ve just had to sell my car because I’m so broke. I bought a car last year and that was probably my biggest extravagance. Clothes, too. I’m always buying clothes. I’m completely skint.”
“I’m waiting until I get the royalties from the (new) album and all the radio plays, but that takes about a year. I can’t even spend on credit cards. The banks will usually front your money in that kind of situation, but they are not lending at the moment, so it’s a tricky time.”
In case the music career doesn’t work out, Allen’s backup plan is to become a baker. Makes sense, I guess. Similarly, my backup plan for if I don’t make it as a millionaire playboy is to be a gigolo. I already have my own corner and everything. I’m already practicing my opening line: “You’re not a cop, are you?”
Source: theblemish.com
Lily Allen re-enacts Jessica Simpson getting a late night snack. Via Lily Allen’s Twitter.
Source: theblemish.com
During an interview with Q Magazine, Lily Allen made out with her boyfriend and admitted that they’d slept together. She also said he has a “nice” cock.
“The hunk in my kitchen.
“Well, he’s hot. He’s cute, isn’t he? I had a sleep-over two nights ago and he came along.
“Quite young, for me. What d’you wanna know? How big his c*** is? It’s very nice.”
I bet the only thing the reporter asked was, “How are you?,” before she launched into that rant.
Lily then started talking about getting lap dances at strip clubs like the Spearmint Rhino where she stayed for six hours.
“I went to Spearmint Rhino the other day actually, for six hours. I’ve had lap dances there. It’s fun. I like having a chat with the strippers.”
The singer insists she’s not gay despite another recent confession that she “snogged lesbian twins on a couch in San Diego”.
Wow. Most perfect woman in the world? Yes. Most perfect woman in the world. If you could combine Lily’s personality, with Lindsay Lohan’s rack and Megan Fox’s body, you’d have the ultimate girlfriend. That or a failed experiment you dump in the Hudson river.
Source: theblemish.com
Lily Allen updated her Twitter feed this morning to show off the new “Shhh…” finger tat that Lindsay Lohan went with her to get in West Hollywood. No word on if this was a tribute to Rihanna who has almost the same tattoo.
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, so I too have decided to get a tat on my finger. Both my fingers actually. On my right index will be “nose”. On my left index will be “butt”. Now I’ll never forget which finger picks what or mix them up after using them.
Source: theblemish.com
Six kids were arrested in London for relentlessly pegging Lily Allen with snowballs. Earlier in the day, Allen was seen playing in the snow and even joking with the paps. However, things turned ugly in the afternoon when kids began throwing snowballs at Lily. She took it in stride at first, but was forced to call the police and flee with her bodyguard after the snowball fight turned into a “vicious brawl.” One man was beaten up in the scuffle. Witnesses said:
“She took it in good spirits at first but it got more relentless. Some people told the gang to stop before people started squaring up to them. As she was going down the hill it kicked off and her bodyguard stepped in.”
Too bad Paris Hilton was back in LA. She probably wouldn’t even have been able to step out of her $3 million London house without being pelted in the head. Although, Paris should be used to balls flying at her face by now so she probably wouldn’t even flinch.
Source: theblemish.com
London was covered in enough snow yesterday to warrant shutting down everything. Everything except people’s hearts. Kids who would normally be in school went outside to make snow angels, snowmen, snow forts and snow ammunition. They then beat the shit out of each other with their icy spheres of death. At least that’s what I imagined happened. Because if Calvin and Hobbes has taught me anything, it’s that there’s no greater joy than nailing an unsuspecting victim in the back of the head with a snowball. Especially if that victim happens to be a girl you secretly like.
Lily Allen was seen engaging in her own snowball fight with paparazzi. Although, she didn’t even bother packing it. She just picked up a chunk of ice and threw it at the photogs. This proved ineffective as the snow crumbled in mid-air. Here’s a tip, Lily: Next time, pack your snowball tight and with rocks. I find it’s hard not to be declared the winner when your opponent is lying unconscious on the ground.
Source: theblemish.com
Most of the time, Lily Allen looks like an amorphous monster with a shrunken head and small tits. Seems times have changed because Lily looks pretty hot right here performing at G-A-Y at Heaven in London in a Blueberry Muffin costume. She… wait, what the hell is that guy doing with his hand?! Is that allowed? You can’t even do that at strip clubs or at school dances or even with your date at school dances, unless you get her really, really drunk. I don’t know whether this guy deserves a medal or an ass kicking.
