Source: theblemish.com

In a “no shit” moment, Howard Stern asked Denise Richards on his Sirius show if her breasts were real. Can you guess what the answer was? Ding, ding, ding. They’re fake. In fact, they’re fake three times over.

Denise told Stern that the first time she had them done was when she was 19. Jealous of her roommates perfect boobs, Denise went to the doctor and told him to work his magic.

Her breasts ended up too big for her body so she went for a second operation. Turns out she wasn’t very bright back then either and forgot to tell him to put in smaller ones. She ended up with D’s.

The third time she went in, they finally got it right.

“I was young and should have researched better. You know, it was a big mistake. Young girls, don’t do it!”

As far as life plans go, getting skinny, buying big fake tits, going to Hollywood and profiting wasn’t a bad one. She may have lost all her dignity and respect, but look at her now. She has her own reality show, failed marriage and has to exploit herself and her children just to maintain the extravagant lifestyle she’s grown accustomed to. I bet she has to calm herself down every night to fall asleep.

Source: theblemish.com

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Some jokester invited Denise Richards to butcher “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” at the Chicago Cubs game last Friday. Hellen Keller could have given a better performance. You could have put the microphone in front of a car alarm and it would have been one hundred times more melodious. Wasn’t this sort of mean, too? This is like inviting a retard to sing knowing full well that they’re going to embarrass themselves.

And does Denise not even know the words to this song that she has to look down at lyrics every few seconds? That’s un-American. What is she, a communist?

Source: theblemish.com

Us Weekly has it on good authority that Denise Richard’s It’s Complicated will be “coming back for another season.” Despite low numbers and common sense, filming will begin in a few months.

In the meantime, Denise will have to come up with a plan to boost the ratings. Hmm, but how? I got it. You know how Dick Van Dyke had that running gag of tripping over stools? Well, instead of that, Denise can get hit in the face with a shovel each episode, but make it a different type of shovel. Like, one day it’ll be a regular shovel, then the next a snow shovel and so on and so on. The possibilities are endless.

Source: theblemish.com

Despite starting out “pretty good” at 1.5 million viewers, the audience for Denise Richards: it’s Complicated have slowly tapered off over the later nine episodes. E! has now decided to pull the plug and give Denise the old heave-ho much like you would with a dog that can no longer play fetch.

A show low-light was her confrontation with an editor for a magazine over how she has been portrayed in the tabloid press.

With no marketable skills and unable to successfully whore herself out, expect Denise to be working at your nearest Hot Dog on a Stick. She’ll be the one mopping the floors. Oh, they put her at the front once, but she kept deep throating the corn dogs and asking for donations.

Source: theblemish.com

The ratings for Denise Richard’s E! reality show are as low as ever. That means it’s the perfect time to get back with Richie Sambora. People will watch that, right? Well, you won’t find out because Richie isn’t even taking her calls.

Insiders say Denise started phoning and texting Richie nonstop, begging him to rekindle their romance, and he talked to her patiently at first – telling her he’s just not interested, and has a new relationship cooking.

Denise, refusing to take “NO!” for an answer, told pals she’s furious at Richie – yet won’t stop phone/text-stalking!

Although I’ve never watched Denise’s show, I’m sure it’s awful. However, here’s a suggestion on how to boost ratings. Kill herself. It sounds counterintuitive, but gosh darn if it might not just work.

Source: theblemish.com

Charlie Sheen apologized yesterday for using the n-word in a leaked voicemail he left Denise Richards in 2005. The tapes were out for only a short while and pulled, but the transcripts remain on The Smoking Gun.

Yea, I just got your other email and I am a little confused because ahhh you told me that was something you only told a couple of people and this and that and I just again you continue to be deceitful and mischievous and sneaky and you’re a fucking liar. Okay. You’re a fucking liar so you know what it’s like….fuck you. Okay, I hope you rot in fucking hell. You’re a piece of shit fucking liar and I hope you fucking rot in hell. So fuck you. I hope I never fucking talk to you again you fucking cunt. Fuck you. You’re a coward and a liar and a fucking nigger alright so fuck you.

The Two and a Half Men released this statement:

“I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings. And for the record, my children did not show up today for a custodial visit without explanation. So three and one-half years later, the reasons that caused the anger and frustration displayed on that voice mail continue to be manifested on a daily basis.”

Charlie is pretty clever to slip in the “my best friend is black” line because it’s a known fact that if you’re friend is a minority, you certainly can’t be racist. I believe it was Einstein who unequivocally proved it in some math equation.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

If Denise Richards were a color in the Crayola box of life, she would be . . . wait, what’s the color of puke?

All along, Denise has said that her new reality show, “It’s Complicated”, has been an attempt to tell her side of the story, or “Setting the Record Straight.”

However, multiple people are secretly spilling the beans, telling gossip mongers that Denise is completely out of her mind.

For example, how many times have we heard (over and over) Denise say that she was not the cause of the Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora split, and that she she never even hooked up with him until months after they broke up?

Well, just as we had assumed, it’s all a big fat lie.

“Heather has phone records that prove Denise was calling Richie while Heather was still married to him,” a source tells the New York Post.

“Heather was such a good friend to Denise. She gave Denise clothes and offered her a shoulder to cry on when she and Charlie split up – there are even photos in the press of Heather taking Denise out after she and Charlie split. And then a few weeks later, not months, Denise starts dating Richie.”

“For Denise to claim that not only did she not initiate contact with Richie but that she and Heather weren’t friends for three months before she took up with him, well, that’s just absurd and an outright lie. Denise also claims she’s still friends with Richie – which is not true. He doesn’t speak to her at all.”

Another bizarre claim is that Denise owns dozens of animals – but on the show she claims to only have five dogs, four cats and three pigs. But in reality the numbers are far greater. “Please – she has over 20 dogs, five cats, three pigs and several guinea pigs. Her place is like a zoo. She collects animals.”

Heather’s publicist declined to comment on the matter, but Denise responded (through her rep) to these allegations saying,

“I will not respond to these tireless rumors. It’s such old news. I will say I have 10 dogs. Is there a law against having a lot of animals? My family loves animals, I live on a ranch, and I provide a great environment for them, so I am not sure why there is so much drama about how many animals I have.”

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

If Denise Richards were a color in the Crayola box of life, she would be . . . wait, what’s the color of puke?

All along, Denise has said that her new reality show, “It’s Complicated”, has been an attempt to tell her side of the story, or “Setting the Record Straight.”

However, multiple people are secretly spilling the beans, telling gossip mongers that Denise is completely out of her mind.

For example, how many times have we heard (over and over) Denise say that she was not the cause of the Heather Locklear/Richie Sambora split, and that she she never even hooked up with him until months after they broke up?

Well, just as we had assumed, it’s all a big fat lie.

“Heather has phone records that prove Denise was calling Richie while Heather was still married to him,” a source tells the New York Post.

“Heather was such a good friend to Denise. She gave Denise clothes and offered her a shoulder to cry on when she and Charlie split up – there are even photos in the press of Heather taking Denise out after she and Charlie split. And then a few weeks later, not months, Denise starts dating Richie.”

“For Denise to claim that not only did she not initiate contact with Richie but that she and Heather weren’t friends for three months before she took up with him, well, that’s just absurd and an outright lie. Denise also claims she’s still friends with Richie – which is not true. He doesn’t speak to her at all.”

Another bizarre claim is that Denise owns dozens of animals – but on the show she claims to only have five dogs, four cats and three pigs. But in reality the numbers are far greater. “Please – she has over 20 dogs, five cats, three pigs and several guinea pigs. Her place is like a zoo. She collects animals.”

Heather’s publicist declined to comment on the matter, but Denise responded (through her rep) to these allegations saying,

“I will not respond to these tireless rumors. It’s such old news. I will say I have 10 dogs. Is there a law against having a lot of animals? My family loves animals, I live on a ranch, and I provide a great environment for them, so I am not sure why there is so much drama about how many animals I have.”

Source: theblemish.com

Charlie Sheen yesterday responded to Denise Richard’s claim that she was only doing her reality show to support her kids financially. Charlie said he pays her $52,000 a month in child support and $60,000 a month for two years alimony. Today, Denise is fighting back with words of her own. Dirty, confusing words.

“Last week, I sent Charlie a text message asking him if he’s going to Family Day [for daughter Sam's school] and letting him know Sam was sick with a cold,” Richards said. “His response was, ‘I hope you and your worthless retarded father get cancer and join your stupid mom. Rot in hell you [bleeping] whore.’ My mom died of cancer. This is what I deal with on a weekly basis.

“He missed Dad’s day at the school and my father had to go in his place. And this is how he talks to me?”

Richards claims the e-mails sent to Mueller were fakes: “I don’t want Charlie’s prostitute-tranny-infested sperm. I have two beautiful kids. We’ll leave it at that. I am so over him. He’s the one who can’t move on. He’s disgusting and he’s hit an all-time low.”

You know how in grade school boys pull on girls’ hair and push them into the mud as a sign of affection? This is exactly what’s happening here. They’re flirting. Judging by their words, they’re pretty much dry humping right now. Get a room you crazy lovebirds.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Denise Richards, what a completely annoying, old ass, attention whore!

Geeze! If you watched any of the morning shows yesterday you definitely caught Denise on one of them, because I think she was on them all.

Not surprisingly she managed to make an ass out of herself on every show. The clip above is from The Today Show where Richards is interviewed by Matt Lauer.

At 2:15 into the clip, Denise says the dumbest thing she could possibly say, “You know, he’s the one that’s speaking [to the media].” Matt calls her bulls**t and says back at her, “No, you’re speaking.” Then she tries to backtrack. “I-I..Uh-uh..”

Then there is her appearance on The View and Whoopi opens a can of Whoopi-Ass on the bitch. And once again, Denise tries to justify her reality show and bringing her children into it all.. blah blah.

She really is a terrible actress isn’t she?

In all her interviews she plays the cancer card, (her mother died last year from the disease), trying to get the nation’s sympathy as she has nothing else to offer. She also has the balls to act as though no one else in the world has ever been through that, except her.

Denise reeks of insincerity and narcissism. This bitch wants attention. And money. Period.