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Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck need a sex counselor

Source: theblemish.com

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Star Magazine is great. Most of their stories don’t pan out and sometimes aren’t even remotely accurate, but they don’t care, they keep trudging along. Today’s story from Star says Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner have hired a sex counselor.

The 37-year-old actress has been spotted several times in recent weeks with noted author and therapist Dr. Holly Hein.

“Jennifer has had some ups and downs with Ben, and she likes to check in with Dr. Hein once in a while,” says a source.

They talk tips on keeping the romance alive and dealing with Ben’s need for attention.

“Ben’s great, but he can be very insecure. He likes Jen to play the devoted wife all the time,” the source explains.

Poor Ben. Not only does he suck in movies, but he also sucks in bed. He should try my patented bedroom move. It’s called “crying in the fetal position” and it’s done exactly how it sounds. You perform it before, during and after sex.

Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck

Source: theblemish.com

Jennifer Garner & Ben Affleck leave the hospital Jan. 3

Everyone has been waiting with baited breath to hear what Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck named their second kid (not really). People bet that it was going to be either lame or stupid. Turns out, Garner and Affleck went with the latter. The new kid’s name is Seraphina Rose Elizabeth Affleck. Which is great. All people should have three first names.

According to one website specializing in names, Seraphina may have been “derived from the Biblical word ’seraphim,’ which was Hebrew in origina and meant ‘fiery one.’” According to another website, Seraphina may be derived from the Patron Saint of retarded people. And yet another website who knows nothing about names, says it’s derived from that stripper who gave them a handjob last Saturday. By the way, that last website was mine if you couldn’t figure it out.

Jennifer Garner birthed another baby

Source: theblemish.com

Jennifer Garner & Ben Affleck leave the hospital Jan. 3

Jennifer Garner popped out another baby girl Tuesday afternoon. This is her and husband Ben Affleck’s second daughter. Their first, Violet, was born in December 2005. No further information was given, but considering what they named their first daughter, history dictates this one will be named either Hot Pink, Fuschia or Katy. Also, no word on whether or not she was born with an extra appendage or a tail but the general consensus is that it would be pretty freakin’ sweet if she was.

Jennifer Garner pregnant again

Source: theblemish.com

Jennifer Garner

Victor Garber, Jennifer Garner’s co-star on Alias, accidentally let slip that Jennifer is pregnant for the second time. Us Weekly reports:

“Yes, she is,” Garber, who currently stars on ABC’s Eli Stone, told Us when asked if recent speculation was true that the couple is expecting.

A source adds, “She is five months pregnant. They are very happy.”

A while ago, before the pregnancy rumors, people were speculating these two were on the verge of a break up, citing that they haven’t been pictured together for a while. This sort of kills that rumor. Unless Ben does what I do: changes his identity, grows a mustache, moves across state lines and kills a hooker. Wait, scratch that last part. That’s not really necessary. …Or is it?

Ben and Jennifer might divorce too

Source: theblemish.com

Jennifer Garner

Ted Casablanca at E! claims that Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck are about to divorce. Much like Madonna and Guy, the two have rarely been seen together. When asked, Affleck’s rep retorted:

“We usually don’t comment on stuff like this. But you should know sources are liars. If you guys want to do the right thing, you won’t post that item. It’s all BS.”

These guys are really boring, but Jennifer Garner is pretty enough. Especially when she wears those sunglasses that make her look like she’s about to go snowboarding. Whoosh, whoosh, wheee down the street she goes.

What the hell?

Source: theblemish.com

Ben Affleck

Ben Affleck and his gigantic head were at the OneXOne gala Saturday in Calgary. The gift room really went all out this year providing celebrities with their choice of tiny African schoolchildren.

In Case You Hadn’t Noticed, Ben Affleck’s Voting for Barack Obama

Source: evilbeetgossip.com

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Bennifer II — that is, Ben Affleck and Jen Garner, hosted a fundraising event for Barack Obama on Sunday in Ben’s home town of Boston.

Affleck said he and his wife were just doing “their part for society,” which isn’t at all heavy-handed and obnoxious, but whatever.

You know, sometimes Ben Affleck annoys the fuck out of me, but I’ll tell you what I do like about him: he’s a rehab success story. After being a total drunkie for awhile, he got his ass to rehab, cleaned up, and stayed the fuck sober. And now he’s all involved in politics and shit. Which is, you know, annoying, but, still. Good for him. I’m really waiting for Lindsay Lohan to pull this shit. She’s a smart girl, and I can just see her, somewhere along the line, being all sober and preaching politics to us. It’ll be annoying, too, but in a really cute way.

Ben Affleck on his infamous Jimmy Kimmel video

Source: www.celebitchy.com

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Never let it be said that all big stars have big egos. Okay maybe they do, but a couple of the biggest were more than willing to lend their famous faces to Jimmy Kimmel’s revenge video, “F’ing Ben Affleck.” The video was (not surprisingly) an instant internet sensation – really, you can’t get a better time slot for that type of thing than right after the Oscars. Ben Affleck says he was all too willing to don a shiny lame top and blow dry (what’s left of) Jimmy Kimmel’s hair – if it helped best BFF Matt Damon’s video with Kimmel’s girlfriend Sarah Silverman, “I’m F’ing Matt Damon.” Sounds like Kimmel and Silverman have a very mature, deep, and profound relationship. Screw that, it sounds like they have fun, and isn’t that more important? Affleck gave a great interview to Entertainment Weekly where he talked about the process of making the video, and how they got such big stars to agree to it.

What was the backstory on scoring Harrison Ford? Didn’t you hear that he was a fan of the ”I’m F—ing Matt Damon” video?
He either said that to my brother or to Jennifer [Garner, Affleck’s wife]. So that kind of stuck in my mind when Jill [Leiderman, exec producer of Kimmel] called me and we were trying to get people. The first name that came to me — because I’m such a huge fan — was Harrison Ford. Jill called me back 10 minutes later: ”We got Harrison Ford!” And I was like, ”What??? Harrison Ford said yes???” He was awesome. I think people were naturally a little bit intimidated by him, and didn’t want to push him at all. He saw his wardrobe looked kind of normal and was like, ”Don’t we have anything here that’s mesh?” That beat gets the biggest laugh in the whole video, where he’s got his chain and he’s in the convertible and he blows a kiss. It’s the most incongruous moment in the thing because he’s the most rugged, masculine guy in the world, and there he is in his West Hollywood outfit blowing kisses.

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Were you surprised that all of these celebrities wound up participating?
Brad [Pitt] said yes, and that was really cool. And then Don [Cheadle], Cameron [Diaz], I mean, Huey Lewis, all the musicians who populated the ”We Are the World” aspect of it… In some ways, my favorite part of it is Josh Groban. I mean, he’s just hollering. The way he sings just full-throated cheese at the piano and the shaft of light, I mean, it’s spectacular. Every time we got one of those people, I felt like, This is either really great or it’s really terrible for me, because I’m gonna have to be living with this ”I’m F—ing Ben Affleck” anthem for the rest of my life!… I hope it virals out by the time my daughter is using the Internet.

[From Entertainment Weekly]

Ben also says that he’s fairly sure there will be some kind of retaliation. He said maybe he and Sarah would hook up, there might be a three-way, but he worries it might sink into something with animals. “It will have to be taken to another level — a horrible, horrible level that will stop being funny and then stop being passed around on video.” I think he’s missed the most obvious form of payback: using his wife, Jennifer Garner. While I can’t for a minute imagine her being involved in something tawdry; a week ago I would have said that about Josh Groban too, and how very wrong I would have been.

Here’s the video again. Thanks to Splash News for the screenshots.

Hilarious new video: Jimmy Kimmel is f’ing Ben Affleck

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Jimmy Kimmel somehow managed to outdo the hilarious video created by his wife, comedian Sarah Silverman, “I’m F’cking Matt Damon.”

In a star-studded video called “I’m F’ing Ben Affleck,” Affleck and Kimmel play gay lovers while a chorus of celebrities sings “Jimmy Kimmel is f’ing Ben Affleck” in “We are the world” style. There’s even a cameo from Bad Pitt as a delivery guy, although I was disappointed that there were no homosexual undertones to Pitts appearance. Harrison Ford blows a kiss and smiles at the camera suggestively, and Cameron Diaz makes the finger in the hole sign. The celebrities sing an uplifting chorus of Kimmel and Affleck’s newfound love as the two stars walk off into the sunset, Kimmel shirtless with moobs and Affleck in a shiny tight lamé top.

Thanks to Redlasso for sending this to us, and they also note the cameos by Brad Pitt, Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Pete Wentz, Perry Farrell, Macy Gray, The Madden Twins, Lance Bass, Huey Lewis, Josh Groban, Dominic Mognahan, McLovin from Superbad, Harrison Ford, and Cameron Diaz.

Here’s Silverman’s video “I’m f’ing Matt Damon” if you missed it

Shes Screwing Matt Damon – Watch more free videos

Ben Affleck teaches Violet how to read!

Source: seriouslyomg.com

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At least Ben Affleck is teaching Violet to read the good paper The NY Daily News! Seriously how cute is that picture?