Source: theblemish.com
Avril Lavigne hit up Malibu beach yesterday. She celebrated the men and women who died in service by clutching her breasts and cartwheeling on the beach. Her cromagnun husband celebrated by being let out of his cage for an hour. Everyone had a good time it seems.
Source: theblemish.com
It’s like Cookie Monster went on a bender with M&M cookies, found out Sesame Street’s new tagline was “no fattiess allowed” and barfed on Avril Lavigne’s sweater. She looks like a damn Lite-Brite.
Source: theblemish.com
Avril Lavigne was briefly stalked by a super fan earlier this week as she was walking down Hollywood Boulevard. Hollywood TV was filming Avril when a large dude approached her and asked for an autograph. She obliged. Next, he wanted a picture. That’s when Avril made a run for it. Alas, there was no escape. The big man conjured up images of a mobile jelly donut and chased her into a hotel.
Here’s a tip for the poor guy and any other star watchers. If you want a celebrity’s attention and you’re twice their size, I find the best thing to do is stand right next to them, remain absolutely silent and breathe heavily while drying your sweaty palms over your jeans. I bet Avril would have taken a picture with him if he did that.
Source: theblemish.com
Avril Lavigne may be banned from Malaysia for the same reason I was. Being too sexy. Islamic opposition has requested the Malaysian government cancel an Avril Lavigne performance on Aug. 29 on account of it being “too sexy” for locals.
“It is considered too sexy for us…it’s not good for viewers in Malaysia,” party official Kamarulzaman Mohamed was quoted by the Associated Press as saying. “We don’t want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models.”
E! Online says Malaysia often bans obscene behavior on stage. What is obscene? Jumping, shouting, hugging and kissing or displaying any sexual imagery or drug references.
On second thought, they should cancel this concert. If this is true, it’ll be pretty boring and maybe a little creepy. Her fans will be standing around glassy-eyed like kids from Children of the Corn. The only way you can tell they’re rocking out is by them swaying side to side. But no more than 1.5 inches to the left or right. Anything past that and they’ll be caned.
Here’s Avril being obscene.
Source: theblemish.com
I don’t usually comment on women’s fashion or make-up because it’s a subject I know nothing about and I’m not gay, but here’s Avril Lavigne at Prive in Vegas. I think she went a little crazy with the black eye shadow. These thumbnails make her look like a raccoon or the Hamburgler. Maybe even Kato from The Green Hornet. She could have asked someone to punch her in both eyes and gotten the same effect. Plus it would have been more “punk”. Kind of like that pink stripe in her hair.
Source: theblemish.com
Hate your life? Then treat yourself to an Avril Lavigne concert. They seem wonderful. In fact, it might just give you the motivation you need to kill yourself. The Washington Post reviewed Avril’s last concert and describes it as “all about her.”
But now 23 and married, she pulls off the act, if it is an act, with wondrous believability. During “I Don’t Have to Try,” she screamed, “It’s all about me!” and the girls in the grandstand screamed with her. “How many girls out there always get what they want?” she said before playing the garagey, Joan Jett-ish “I Always Get What I Want.”
Changing from a black outfit to a blacker outfit every several songs, she turned the narcissism knob up to 11 for “The Best Damn Thing.” She brought out a group of dancers dressed as cheerleaders and carrying large placards, and forced the troupe to lead the crowd in spelling out A-V-R-I-L and to yell her name.
If I was one of the cheerleaders, I would have done three back flips into a standing double flip in front of Avril and kicked her in the vagina. Alas, I’m neither that athletic nor that gay so you’d have to settle for me kicking Avril in the vagina without all that flash. If it makes you happy, I can sort of do a little shuffle with my feet while she’s keeled over in pain.
Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com
Hilary Duff graces the cover of May’s Allure and in it she talks about other stars her age and her relationship with them.
On Lindsay Lohan:
“Supposedly, I stole Lindsay Lohan’s boyfriend [Aaron Carter.] We were, like, 13! And I’ve never stolen anyone’s boyfriend! I don’t know how you do that! . . . She was talking about it and I wasn’t. It made us both look bad and put up a big weirdness. Really she was just a girl my age. We are fine now, by the way.”
On Miley Cyrus:
“We don’t have each other’s phone numbers. But when she meets me, she’s excited. It’s cute – I see a lot of myself in her.”
On Avril Lavigne:
“I said something about how she didn’t like her fans dressing like her, and how she should appreciate that because it’s a compliment. She called me a goody-goody [Lavigne called Duff a ‘mommy’s girl’ in Newsweek] Everyone is trying to prove who they are, and their position. So, I’m ‘the good girl.’ She’s ‘the bad girl’ or ‘the party girl.’ Sarah Jessica Parker doesn’t take her clothes off, but she’s not a ‘good girl.’ [Adult actors] don’t get tagged like we do.”
One thing about Hilary is she never starts sh*t with anyone. She pretty much keeps to herself, enjoys her fabulous life and doesn’t crave the spotlight as do some of her peers. That’s class. It’s endangered in Hollywood, so it’s refreshing to see a young, successful female exercise it.
Source: theblemish.com
Avril Lavigne is pretty. Annoying, but pretty. Deryck Whibley, not so much. It’s safe to say evolution left him behind. Like, if he and evolution were playing hide-and-seek, evolution would have gotten in its car and sped away before Deryck counted to 10. That’s why it’s a shock to see his hands all over Avril’s ass and breasts. Normally, the only time you’d see a pretty girl let a guy like this molest her without screaming for help is after he hit her over the head with a club, dragged her to his cave, chained her to a rock and threatened to kill her family. Although, Avril does look unconscious in the header photo. So, maybe that’s an accurate description of what happened?
Source: theblemish.com
Ashton Kutcher’s new reality prank show called Pop Fiction debuted last night. The concept of the show is to trick paparazzi and gossip rags into believing the stories fed to them by stars are real. The first segment of the episode featured Paris Hilton walking around with her guru/actor. This was widely reported and everyone laughed at her, but the truth was discovered the next day. For the eight hours people believed this, Paris Hilton must have been giggling with glee. Oddly enough, people are still laughing at her.
The second segment featured Avril Lavigne donning a fake baby bump and shopping on Robertson Blvd. (where celebrities go to be seen). Shocking stuff really. Although, it’s hard to pull off a prank like this when not even 7 days before you look awesome in a bikini. It also doesn’t help when your rep denies it, but who listens to them anyway.
May I suggest a prank? Nicole Richie is seen buying a blue bra, but magically comes out with a pink bra. How did she… what happened? Sorceress! On second thought, that might be too edgy. They need to step it up a little. A cooler one would be to have Russel Crowe fake a punch when being swarmed by paparazzi. As the paparazzi drops into the fetal position, Russel Crowe will shout, “Gotcha!” And then while everyone including the paparazzi laugh, Russel Crowe punches him in the nose.
Source: www.celebitchy.com
Remember last week, when Paris Hilton was seen around town with a guy dressed like a shaman? That story turned out to be fake, but that wasn’t the whole story. Paris and her fake guru were part of a new reality prank show on E! Network called “Pop Fiction.” The show is executive produced by Ashton Kutcher and the premise is this: what if celebrities who are hounded by the paparazzi decided to ‘fight back’ by faking stories of their own? The goal of show, according to producers, is the shake up the paparazzi and celebrity gossip mags, to make them think twice about printing news. It’s like a vigilante version of “Punk’d.”
The half-hour show featured two segments. The first was Paris and her fake guru. Paris, in an interview, says that she decided to participate in the show after a fake item ran about her starting a charity to help save drunken elephants in India. That rumor was actually picked up by the AP News, and they were later forced to print a retraction. The show pointed out that within hours, news of Paris and her guru was all over the Internet and the subject of blogs around the globe.
“Next time you read the tabloids, ask yourself if it’s real or if it’s pop fiction,” she warned.
In the second segment, pop singer Avril Lavigne led on the paparazzi by sporting a fake baby bump while shopping on Robertson Blvd. in L.A. She predicted that she wouldn’t be able to walk one block without being submerged by paparazzi. “Robertson is where you go when you want attention,” she said. (Are you listening, Britney?) She then waded through paparazzi with her husband and some friends to shop at Baby Kitson and Lisa Kline Kids, trendy boutiques featuring kids’ clothes. She was quick to call her mother and warn her that she might see pictures or read about Avril’s pregnancy, and that it wasn’t true. Twenty minutes later, the show says, there were photos of Avril all over the Internet confirming her “pregnancy.”
Life & Style Magazine reports that Avril Lavigne went out of her way to hide a suspicious belly bump while eating at the Beverly Grand restaurant in Los Angeles on March 13th. “She insisted on putting on her jacket before she got out of the car,” an eyewitness revealed. “When she did get out, it was like, ‘Whoa,’ she looks so pregnant!’” The 21-year-old singer is currently engaged to Sum 41 frontman Deryck Whibley, 25.
As a member of the so-called “gossip rag” militia, I have mixed feelings about this show. Here at Celebitchy, we really want to get the information right. We are probably one of the few gossip blogs that will correct our facts if we get them wrong, and we often have a “take this story with a grain of salt” attitude. But we’re well aware that Celebitchy is in the minority on this philosophy. These kinds of pranks are going to make it more difficult to get our facts in line, but I certainly understand the concept behind them. The paparazzi and many gossip outlets definitely overstep their boundaries these days and continuously cross the line into obscene amounts of privacy invasion. The actor who played Paris’ guru hit the nail on the head when, after the pair are swarmed by cameras, he says, “I would probably be the guy who punches a paparazzi.”
I wonder if Ashton Kutcher will continue to get high-profile celebs involved in the pranks on the show. I also wonder if anyone is actually going to watch this show: it’s on at 10:30 on Sunday night. On E! Network. Not exactly a ringer in the ratings department, if you ask me.
Note by Celebitchy: We covered that Avril Lavigne story, but it wasn’t a very original concept. A married pop star sports a little bump and goes shopping at baby stores at the largest paparazzi-target shopping area in the world. Of course people are going to say she’s pregnant. They need to step it up a little if they want to create decent shows. The Paris Hilton guru story was pretty interesting. JayBird covered that Avril shopping for baby clothes story and was quite subdued about it, she said “I would say the traditional ‘Congrats to the happy couple,’ but with someone like Avril Lavigne, she’s probably apt to punch me in the eye for it.”
No one really gives a shit about Avril except to say she shouldn’t reproduce.
