Source: theblemish.com

At the launch of Activision’s “DJ Hero,” Ashlee Simpson got completely wasted. She was seen stumbling out of the the VIP area holding on to a bodyguard and a friend just so she could walk. Proof enough that she’s not pregnant or she really wants that abortion.

Pop Tarts also says Ashlee lost a lot of weight. “Despite giving birth six months ago, the upcoming Melrose Place starlet shocked party peeps with her bony body and super slim legs poking out between her black short shorts.”

Pete Wentz is none too happy about it either. Turns out he’s pissed that Ashlee fits into his skinny jeans better than he does. According to Pete, there can only be one skinny effeminate mincing gaywad in the family and that’s him.

Here’s Ashlee and Pete at Nobu a week ago.

Source: theblemish.com

Shock! Horror! Ashlee Simpson could be pregnant again if this report from Star is to be believed. A source told the mag that Simpson is “just a few weeks along” and is happy, but wants to keep the news a secret for a few months.

Ashlee also thinks this second baby could bring Pete and her closer together, ie. keep him home and not in Vegas dancing with strippers. Pete, on the other hand, isn’t ready for a second child. He values his time with strippers and thinks another kid would tie him down and keep him stuck at home all day which, coincidentally, is exactly what Ashlee wants. Besides, how will Candy with the double D’s pay her way through college without Pete around? Think about it.

Anyway, to purge your mind of that image of Ashlee Simpson pushing out another Pete Wentz baby, here’s Megan Fox in ELLE.

Source: theblemish.com

If you thought marriage was a contract binding you to a life of responsibility and maturity, think again. Marriage is awesome. Especially when the wife isn’t around and is instead replaced by drunken strippers and a makeshift Slip ‘n’ Slide.

Last weekend, when Pete Wentz finished his concert in Irvine, his wife Ashlee Simpson, who was in attendance, rushed back home and Twittered: “I am beyond sad to leave my love… My heart is breaking as we drive home.” Then she posted a picture of her kissing their kid, Bronx.

The next day, Pete played in Vegas and, saddened to be without his Ashlee and his Bronx, consoled himself by grinding on a bunch of strippers.

“Everybody was going absolutely crazy,” an eyewitness tells Star. “People were even drunkenly playing makeshift Slip ‘n’ Slide with a mat and lubricant. And Pete was in great spirits. He was dancing and singing along to his band’s own songs, grinding up against the dancers.”

Take it from Pete. The keys to a successful marriage are A) Telling your wife you love her, B) Driving to Vegas, C) Telling the drunk strippers you party with that your wife is cool with you sleeping around and D) Adding that anal doesn’t count as cheating.

Source: theblemish.com

Ashlee Simpson is not happy in her role as stay-at-home mom. Her jealousy of Pete Wentz going out every night and partying is beginning to manifest itself. An insider says:

“Ashlee and Pete are on the rocks. He is going out all the time and she’s stuck at home. It’s just not working.”

I’d be concerned too if I were Ashlee. The longer Pete is out there making out with guys on “dares”, the sooner he’s going to discover he loves dick and the faster he’ll divorce Ashlee to shack up with a male groupie in skinny jeans. Won’t anybody think of the children? Or child?

Source: theblemish.com

Following her empty performances on 7th Heaven and most recent cameo on CSI: New York with husband Pete Wentz, Ashlee Simpson has decided to put her music career on hold and become an actress once again. This time in CW’s reboot of Melrose Place.

She’s slated to play Violet, “a character whose disarming naiveté masks the calculating, shrewd sex kitten within.” In other words, nothing at all like her real persona. Ashlee will have a tough time pulling this off. Her idea of being a sex kitten is meowing at the camera for 45 minutes.

Source: theblemish.com

Ashlee Simpson took to her blog to defend her sister Jessica from those meanies calling her fat.

I am completely disgusted by the headlines concerning my sister’s weight. A week after the inauguration and with such a feeling of hope in the air for our country, I find it completely embarrassing and belittling to all women to read about a woman’s weight or figure as a headline on Fox News.

All women come in different shapes, sizes, and forms and just because you’re a celebrity, there shouldn’t be a different standard.

Is this something you would say to your wife, daughter, mother, grandmother, or even a friend?

I seriously doubt it.

How can we expect teenage girls to love and respect themselves in an environment where we criticize a size 2 figure?

Now can we focus on the things that really matter.

Oh how wrong she is. Friends and siblings get the worst of the fat jokes. They know you say it out of love and, anyway, those hurtful words just bounce off their soft, jelly-like exterior. But, Ashlee’s right. Jessica isn’t fat. She’s “Rubenesque.” Which is just a fancier way of saying fat. And, for the record, just because you grease yourself up and squeeze into a size 2, doesn’t make you a size 2.

Source: theblemish.com

Pete Wentz went on SIRIUS’ The Morning Mash Up! and started flapping his gums again. This time about the taste of Ashlee’s breast milk. According to Pete it was, “soury” and “weird.” Coincidentally, that’s the exact opposite of how he described semen.

Pete then talked about his weight gain. He walks around at 135 and gets “fat face” at 148. I’m not sure what “fat face” is but I assume it’s like “punched in the face” which he suffers from at any weight.

Rocker boy then went on about his plans to turn Ashlee Simpson’s vagina into a revolving door. Which should work out well. That way, with more kids, bullies will have a harder time deciding whose ass to kick. Smart thinking, Pete.

Source: theblemish.com

Pete Wentz did what no one wanted him to do and spoke candidly about his sex life with Ashlee Simpson. Past, present and future. During an interview with Howard Stern, the topic of conversation quickly turned into what Ashlee is like in the sack. Pete claims she’s fantastic because “Texas girls are fun.” It makes me nauseous just to type this. Read for yourself.

“We have such a sexual chemistry,” Pete continues (and seriously never stops). “Had we been on this show last year we’d probably be doing it in the green room.”

However, now that they have a 2-week-old baby, not so much…yet. Instead, “We do other fun stuff. She’s not ready down there.” Yes, he really said “down there.”

Other fun facts about their sex life that we probably shouldn’t know—but do now—include the specifics of Ashlee’s boobs: “She’s a C, but I think with the breast milk it’s a D.” And that she’s up for anything (really, anything): “Let’s just say my wife likes me to have a good time.”

Pete probably asks Ashlee if she could kindly place her fist in his rectum and then asks if he can do her in the butt. He loves that stuff. Especially when the 4th of July rolls around. He gets to put a sparkler in there!

Source: theblemish.com

Rumors circulated yesterday that Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson were shopping around exclusive photos of their kid Bronx Mowgli but no one wanted them. Now a rep for the couple claims this isn’t true saying, “we are not offering photos to the media, so there is nothing to ‘bite at.’” Granted, this may just be a poor attempt to keep Pete and Ashlee from being publicly embarrassed because MSNBC claims Joe Simpson sent an e-mail to editors before Bronx’s birth offering the photos for six figures and editorial control.

Not only that. Other rumors indicate that in a bid to squeeze more money out of the pregnancy, Joe Simpson was willing to throw in one of those virtual tours of Ashlee’s vagina complete with a Morgan Freeman God voiceover. No takers for that either. Sigh. I guess it’s back to hiding lipstick cameras in Jessica Simpson’s bathroom and selling the footage on eBay.

Update

Pete posted this on his blog:

About baby pics gossip: truth is like every celeb couple we were offered
mounds and mounds of money by mags from here to Guam to pimp out the baby. We just don’t want to go down that road with him.

We are not placing judgment on those that do as they often use the money in a very charitable way. However, we have made the decision to not sell Bronx’s baby pictures right now. We understand that like other celebrities have said, “there is a bounty on our heads” for these pictures. There is a danger when there are cameras being held over walls and into our backyard. We are followed day and night and that was fine when it was us but we are going to do our best to shelter Bronx from that as much as possible. Its scary to be followed by 10 cars to your home. We understand the curiosity, just not the viciousness that comes along with it when it becomes so insatiable. We know there will be a time when we’ll share him with everyone because that insatiable curiousity becomes unsafe or simply because we’re proud parents who want to show him off! We know our fans support and care about us and want to know about our family and we’ve always been straight up and open with those who care about us most, so at some time, when it makes sense, Bronx will be out in the world.

In the meantime, we’d like to say thank you to those who have allowed us relative privacy in letting us just be a family for now – and to enjoy all the happiness he’s brought us.

ps trust me he’s cute. he looks like his mommy.

Those editors must have hurt Pete’s feelings pretty bad.

Source: theblemish.com

Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are coming to the stark realization that their baby, Bronx Mowgli, is worth less than the vagina it came out of. Page Six reports:

“Pete and Ashlee have approached every single celebrity magazine with offers to sell their first photos, but nobody wants them. Covers of them tend not to sell well.” A rep for Simpson denied it.

Chalk this up to the fact that a baby wearing eyeliner and hot pants is not cute. Actually, it’s kind of gay. I mean, was his wrist always limp like that or did he learn from Pete. Also, trying to convince editors that the “awws” you hear from strangers is because your baby is adorable and not because they feel sorry for the kid won’t work.