Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Los Angeles will be the new home of Posh and Becks! David Beckham today agreed to a five-year deal with the Major League Soccer team the Los Angeles Galaxy. This has been in the works for a while but I am so excited that he is going to be coming to the United States. I love soccer, and the MLS needs a boost which David will provide for sure. The president of the Los Angeles Galaxy is quite excited about this move as he stated today,

“David Beckham will have a greater impact on soccer in America than any athlete has ever had on a sport globally. David is truly the only individual that can build the bridge between soccer in America and the rest of the world.”

I’m guessing that they will be spending quite a lot of time with their new BFFs Katie and Tom. This move will provide a lot of tabloid fodder which I know that the blogosphere is quite happy about.

Welcome!

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

I can think of a lot of gifts I would have given Tom and Katie had they invited me to the wedding.

A golden scepter
Diamond encrusted cubic zirconium
Multiple Maseratis.

But you know what I wouldn’t have thought of? One of those hand written notes you used to give your mom that promised you’d clean the kitchen for a week.

Luckily David Beckham remembered. Per our pals at the SfGate Daily Dish; He’s giving Tom’s children soccer lessons as a wedding gift.

That’s right, Connor and Isabella are set to take lessons with good ol’ Becks when he’s not indisposed.

Whaa? This gift sucks ass for a myriad of reasons but here are just a few:

1) Katie gets nothing.
2) Katie’s little nugget Suri gets nothing.
3) Connor and Isabella don’t need soccer lessons because they won’t be soccer players. Plus they are eleven and thirteen. Plus they weren’t getting married (unless I truly don’t get how that religion works).
4) Posh Spice should fucking know better.
5) It’s not a GIFT! You can’t hold it!

It’s the kind of thing you offer after a few drinks, or maybe throw out there for giggles, but you get them a Goddamn real gift because they are damn near American royalty. You are worth millions; get them one big ass Crate & Barrel gift certificate. C’mon man.

Now, this is all just alleged and maybe he actually got them a platinum mini Ferrari for Suri to run over the Paparazzi with. Here’s hoping.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to prepare my “free backrub” coupons for momma.