American Idol has yet to premiere but the annoying reports about Paula and Simon are flooding in. Today it’s a story that Simon may not return to the series that brought him the most notoriety. They’re hoping to surround the show in an air of mystery and keep everyone guessing whether or not they’ll get to see their beloved villain, Simon, again. The suspense is killing me!

“I’ll make a decision about (whether to stay with the show) next year,” Cowell said Dec. 17 in his own call with reporters. His inclination to make a call about staying with the show doesn’t come from personality conflict as much as it does workload, however. “This show could continue for another 10 years,” he conceded.

Here’s a hint. Simon is coming back. He has his own label but American Idol is his bread and butter. Not coming back is like saying you’d only bang Jessica Alba once. Yea, right. You’d hit that so many times that when Jessica got up to leave, it’d look like she was walking on two wet noodles. That’s assuming she somehow untied herself from the bed posts.

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The woman who committed suicide near Paula Abdul’s home has been identified as Paula Goodspeed. Goodspeed was an American Idol Season 5 contestant obsessed with the singer. A.I. even did a featurette on her (video above). Surprisingly, she didn’t make the cut. Mostly because the judges were real jerks. Why couldn’t they have let her sing another song? The first one was obviously a warm-up or some sort of mating call for the legally insane. I had a good feeling about her.

Josiah Leming was a homeless teenager living out of his car when he auditioned for American Idol. Simon Cowell called his audition one of the most memorable of the season. Regardless, he didn’t make it to the top 24 and was flown home. Now Josiah has recorded an album which is set to be released in late January ‘09 and because Idol and Simon Fuller’s 19 entertainment are greedy corporate machines, they’re threatening legal action against Josiah.

“Idol” contestants must sign strict contracts with the show’s producer, Simon Fuller’s 19 Entertainment, promising to record only with the label chosen by “Idol” - Sony/BMG. The 19 Entertainment shop also retains exclusive right of refusal for management and merchandising.

When the smash-hit show began in 2002, only finalists had to sign the contract - but now it’s mandatory for all contestants.

A rep for Leming, who grew up in Tennessee as one of eight siblings, said, “Josiah was the only ‘Idol’ contestant ever to get a record deal who didn’t make the top 24, and one of only four contestants to get a deal this year. He has personal reasons for getting his music out, threat or not.”

Did I mention his personal reason was to release an album before his terminally ill mother died and that no one from Idol expressed any interest in working with him when they sent him back home to his car? Leming’s lawyer has since sent a letter to Idol producers but has not yet heard back.

Idol should just sue him and stop the album from being released. Then afterward they can celebrate by kicking some puppies and pushing a few old people down the stairs. Oh hey, I hear there are a lot of homeless people around too. They might also enjoy to grabbing a handful of quarters and pegging them in the face with about $100 worth.

Yesterday, it was announced that a fourth person, Kara DioGuardi, would be added to the current lineup of American Idol judges which include Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson. Kara has written songs for Christina Aguilera to the Jonas Brothers. Still, Paula is concerned the audience will not accept Kara. Huh? Do people care? Paula just doesn’t want to explain to Kara why she seems drunk all the time (It’s because she’s been drinking). Pop Tarts goes on to ask:

What happens if she and Jackson vote one way, but DioGuardi disagrees?

“That’s gonna be weird if it’s a split decision,” Abdul said. “I’m sure Simon will get to make the final [call].”
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“It takes the fun out of all the hard work I do to push those kids through,” she added.

I’ve watched this show a few times. I have not seen this hard work Paula speaks of. I hear a lot of whining and incoherent speech and dull musings about that one time when she was famous. Is that considered hard work? To find out, I just sat through an episode pretending to be a judge. It was pretty easy. I guess I’m just a natural.

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