Source: theblemish.com

Here’s Heidi and Spencer at the finale of The Hills. I wonder what Heidi is going to do now that The Hills have ended? Is she going to beg the producers to let her onto that other show or will she fade not so quietly into obscurity? If Spencer has anything to say about it, my guess is that they’ll live on through online antics broadcast on YouTube where they can trade their dignity for page views. Just like us! Watch out for the “Spencer gets an enema from Heidi and likes it” video coming in 2009.

Update: Nevermind, looks like The Hills is continuing for at least another season.

Source: theblemish.com

American Idol has yet to premiere but the annoying reports about Paula and Simon are flooding in. Today it’s a story that Simon may not return to the series that brought him the most notoriety. They’re hoping to surround the show in an air of mystery and keep everyone guessing whether or not they’ll get to see their beloved villain, Simon, again. The suspense is killing me!

“I’ll make a decision about (whether to stay with the show) next year,” Cowell said Dec. 17 in his own call with reporters. His inclination to make a call about staying with the show doesn’t come from personality conflict as much as it does workload, however. “This show could continue for another 10 years,” he conceded.

Here’s a hint. Simon is coming back. He has his own label but American Idol is his bread and butter. Not coming back is like saying you’d only bang Jessica Alba once. Yea, right. You’d hit that so many times that when Jessica got up to leave, it’d look like she was walking on two wet noodles. That’s assuming she somehow untied herself from the bed posts.

Source: theblemish.com

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences (ooo, fancy) confirmed that Hugh Jackman will host the 81st annual Oscars. In previous years, comedians such as Jon Stewart, Billy Crystal and Whoopi Goldberg were usually called upon. This year, however, the Academy is planning to amaze everyone with a new look and feel. Which is to say, it’ll be exactly the same boring crap just like every other year except this time they’ll have Hugh Jackman.

He’s never been an Oscar nominee, but was nominated for a Golden Globe for his role in 2001’s romantic film “Kate & Leopold.” His other movie credits include 2006’s “The Prestige” and 2004’s “Van Helsing.”

It sort of sucks that the AP lists Van Helsing among his most famed movies and not the upcoming Wolverine movie or The Fountain. It’s like saying you might remember Heath Ledger from A Knight’s Tale and 10 Things I Hate About You. Yea, you probably will, but do you really want to?

Source: theblemish.com

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Paula Abdul recently went on Barbara Walters’ Sirius and XM show to air her grievances about American Idol and Paula Goodspeed’s. This was discussed yesterday morning on The View. In Paula’s mind, producers and Simon Cowell were out to get her. Paula alleges they knew Goodspeed was unstable and had been stalking her for 18 years.

Abdul claims Idol producers ignored her protests and only brought on Goodspeed to make drama. Not only that, Simon is sabotaging her by always talking through a piece in her ear which causes her to lose her train of thought which causes her to look crazy when Ryan Seacrest asks what’s up.

These are pretty serious allegations. Good thing they’re coming from Paula. Paula can launch into this long speech decrying the franchise and the only thing Fox has to do is smirk, point at Paula, spin their finger around their ear and go, “cuckoo, cuckoo.”

Source: theblemish.com

Kind of. Tom Cruise taped an interview with MTV Canada’s The After Show to promote his movie Valkryie during which he was asked about The Hills. Specifically, about Spencer and Heidi’s elopement. Cruise, who had to be told what a “Hills” was, gave Spencer some sage advice:

“If the girl wants the wedding, you gotta do the wedding,” Cruise said. “It’s a special occasion, and she’ll remember it forever. Spencer … dude … you’ll realize this later.”

Listen to Tom, he knows how to control women. You lavish them with gifts and whisper sweet nothings in their ear and inject them with muscle relaxants. You don’t force them to get breast augmentation and a nose job and a shotgun wedding in Mexico. That path will always lead to resentment and fleeting fame. The trick is to stretch your 15 minutes into 15 years. Sigh. Spencer will never learn. He’ll always be a poor man’s Tom Cruise.

Source: theblemish.com

ET confirms that P. Diddy is tapped to guest star in two episodes of CBS’s CSI: Miami as a federal prosecutor.

‘Entertainment Tonight’, who broke the news of the music mogul’s appearance on the show, revealed P. Diddy’s character will have a conflict with David Caruso’s character Horatio and his team “not only on a case, but also in their personal lives” in the episodes, to be aired in early 2009.

Normally, I’d chide any network show that stunt casts someone like P. Diddy. However, in this case, I say go for it. CSI: Miami is ridiculous as it is. At some point, it stopped trying to even pretend to take itself seriously. If CSI: Miami was a relative, it’d be the second cousin who was dropped on their head at four months and now enjoys eating hamburgers with a side of glue. P. Diddy is like the saftey helmet that goes on top of this unfortunate child’s head.

Source: theblemish.com

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The woman who committed suicide near Paula Abdul’s home has been identified as Paula Goodspeed. Goodspeed was an American Idol Season 5 contestant obsessed with the singer. A.I. even did a featurette on her (video above). Surprisingly, she didn’t make the cut. Mostly because the judges were real jerks. Why couldn’t they have let her sing another song? The first one was obviously a warm-up or some sort of mating call for the legally insane. I had a good feeling about her.

Source: theblemish.com

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt will guest star in a January episode of How I Met Your Mother. They will be playing themselves. Because they suck at acting.

“They will be playing magazine cover-versions of themselves as Marshall (Jason Segel) desperately searches for a place to “read a magazine” while at the office,” CBS said in the statement. “Montag and Pratt will taunt and tease Marshall from the confines of his current copy of Them Weekly.”

How do these two still keep getting work? They’re no talent douchebags. A rotting corpse has more charisma than Spencer or Heidi. Heidi must give an incredible bj. The negotiation process was probably just Heidi opening her mouth as wide as she could and sticking her fist inside.

Source: theblemish.com

Josiah Leming was a homeless teenager living out of his car when he auditioned for American Idol. Simon Cowell called his audition one of the most memorable of the season. Regardless, he didn’t make it to the top 24 and was flown home. Now Josiah has recorded an album which is set to be released in late January ‘09 and because Idol and Simon Fuller’s 19 entertainment are greedy corporate machines, they’re threatening legal action against Josiah.

“Idol” contestants must sign strict contracts with the show’s producer, Simon Fuller’s 19 Entertainment, promising to record only with the label chosen by “Idol” - Sony/BMG. The 19 Entertainment shop also retains exclusive right of refusal for management and merchandising.

When the smash-hit show began in 2002, only finalists had to sign the contract - but now it’s mandatory for all contestants.

A rep for Leming, who grew up in Tennessee as one of eight siblings, said, “Josiah was the only ‘Idol’ contestant ever to get a record deal who didn’t make the top 24, and one of only four contestants to get a deal this year. He has personal reasons for getting his music out, threat or not.”

Did I mention his personal reason was to release an album before his terminally ill mother died and that no one from Idol expressed any interest in working with him when they sent him back home to his car? Leming’s lawyer has since sent a letter to Idol producers but has not yet heard back.

Idol should just sue him and stop the album from being released. Then afterward they can celebrate by kicking some puppies and pushing a few old people down the stairs. Oh hey, I hear there are a lot of homeless people around too. They might also enjoy to grabbing a handful of quarters and pegging them in the face with about $100 worth.

Source: theblemish.com

If you thought you’d never hear a lively discussion about the Large Hadron Collider on The Hills, you’d be partially correct. Because in this clip when Audrina Partidge’s friend explains that the LHC is being used to collide subatomic particles together, a worried look flashes across Audrina’s face and afraid that people will know how much of an idiot she is if she continues the conversation, she changes the subject. Dumb people are funny.