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Eva Longoria is fat

Source: theblemish.com

Eva Longoria

Eva Longoria addressed those pregnancy rumors on Tuesday in an interview with Le Grand Journal. Eva told the magazine, “I’m just fat.” As Eva sat there braying like a donkey, her husband, Tony Parker, “chuckled nervously.”

To make Gabrielle look like she has two kids, Longoria has said she ate “everything in sight! Pasta … pizza.

“Tony and I went crazy this summer!” the actress, who also stopped working out, told Entertainment Tonight.

Her other secret for looking heavier? “I have butt pads, I have thigh pads, I have stomach pads!”

When you’re wife/girlfriend starts talking about their weight, you may want to run away. Anything you do will be viewed as criticism. Tony probably wasn’t sure what to do. Laugh at her joke and admit that she’s put on a few unsightly pounds or not laugh and imply what she said wasn’t funny. Either way, he loses. In this  situation, he might as well have gone all out by laughing really hard, grabbing Eva’s jelly rolls and yelling, “Look at this fatty!” You know, make the next two sexless weeks worth it.

Published on September 11th, 2008 in Eva Longoria, Tony Parker
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Eva Longoria wants a baby

Source: theblemish.com

Eva Longoria

The creator and executive producer of Desperate Housewives, Marc Cherry, so desperate for ratings (hehe, see what I did there? I’m awesome) has revealed that Eva Longoria is trying to get pregnant with Tony Parker. There are rumors that Eva is already pregnant, but Marc said those pictures of Eva looking ugly and fat are part of the storyline for the show’s next season.

“Gaby is having a very tough time being the mother of two overweight, hyperactive children,” Cherry revealed of the show’s next season, which advances five years. “But Eva is having a marvelous time playing her!”

If Eva ever gives birth, that thing will take one look at her without makeup and claw their way back into her womb. But, knowing Eva, she’ll grab it by the leg and drag it back out to have their picture taken by the surrounding paparazzi. I wouldn’t be surprised if Eva told them to get closeups of her dilated cervix.

Tony Parker sucks

Source: theblemish.com

Eva Longoria Spurs

This was a couple of days ago, but a genius fan brought a cardboard cutout of Eva Longoria to the Spurs vs New Orleans game and put it up when Tony Parker was shooting free throws to distract him. It worked. Tony Parker missed his two free throws before security took the guy away. And the Spurs lost. Ha, you suck.

Next time they should bring a cardboard cutout of Eva Longoria with no makeup. Freak out all the Spurs. Instead of free throws, the Spurs will just be chucking the ball at Eva’s head in a futile attempt to kill her. When that fails, they’ll probably curl up in the fetal position and start sucking their thumbs.

Mario Lopez gives Eva Longoria Cartier necklace for opening of Beso

Source: www.celebitchy.com

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Eva Longoria and Mario Lopez have been claiming they’re best friends – and only best friends – since… well forever. But there’s always been something a little fishy about their relationship – maybe it’s just because you don’t often see a lot of opposite sex best friends in Hollywood. And you rarely see a real, platonic friendship when the guy is a total womanizing philanderer. But Eva’s husband Tony Parker must be totally cool with it, because Lopez and Longoria are seen out together all the time. Yesterday Mario gave Eva a gold Cartier necklace, supposedly as a congratulatory present for the opening of her new restaurant Beso. Though it could also be a “thanks for being my f*** buddy” necklace too.

Who’s a lucky girl? Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria Parker received an expensive gift from pal Mario Lopez as the two lunched together in Hollywood.

With her basket ball star husband Tony Parker away on work duties, Eva, 33, joined Mario for an outdoor lunch at Café Med in LA.

Dancer and TV presenter Lopez turned up with a gold necklace in a Cartier bag for the already pampered Hollywood star.

An attentive Mario hopped out his seat to help Eva put the gold necklace on, and she seemed pretty pleased with the spontaneous gesture.

[From the Daily Mail]

Haha, yeah right. I’m sure Mario was just being attentive. I’m under the impression that men rarely give platonic female friends jewelry – even if they’ve got the money like Mario. It’s a pretty intimate gift. Next week he’ll be buying her some lingerie to congratulate her for walking down the street without falling or something. The Daily Mail notes several times that Tony Parker was “away on work duties.” I have no idea what they’re implying there.

The opening of Beso supposedly went pretty well, with several of Eva’s cast mates showing up.

Eva attended the opening of restaurant Beso, which means ‘kiss’in Spanish in Hollywood last night. With husband Tony Parker away on basketball duties, Eva was supported in his absence by her Desperate Housewives co-stars Nicolette Sheridan and Felicity Huffman. An excited Eva told People magazine: “Everything is painted, every candle is lit, every glass has arrived So far there has not been a catastrophic emergency happening. So I am very excited.”

And unlike spoiled Gabby on on Desperate Housewives, Longoria does actually know how to cook if her skills were called upon. She said: “I’ll go to a restaurant and if I have an amazing dish I’ll go to the kitchen and ask the chef how he made it. And then I’ll make him teach me. You can ask [my husband] Tony [Parker], I do it all the time. I’ll leave him at the table for like 30 minutes.”

[From the Daily Mail]

I’m sure that’s totally true Eva. Mario must love you because you’re just so down to earth. Er, I mean Tony. I’m sure it’s your great cooking that keeps Mario coming over to your house all the time. Hmm, what else can I say that makes it sound like Mario and Eva are sleeping together? I’ve probably done enough. At least she’s getting some good jewelry out of it.

Here’s Mario fasting his gift around Eva’s neck at lunch yesterday. Images thanks to Splash Here are the arrivals for the opening of Beso last night: Eva with chef Todd English, Christine Lakin, Constance Marie, Dana Delany, Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy, Karina Smirnoff and Mario Lopez, Kim Kardashian, Roselyn Sanchez and Eric Winter, Sheryl Crow, and Sarah Lancaster. Images thanks to PR Photos.

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Mario Lopez gives Eva Longoria Cartier necklace for opening of Beso

Eva Longoria physically abuses Tony Parker in front of witnesses

Source: www.celebitchy.com

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Eva Longoria’s new husband may tower over her, but she sure lets him know who’s in charge in their relationship. Star Magazine has a witness who was at a party at their house and claims to have seen Eva hitting Tony on the arm and smacking him upside the head. This seems completely believable to me, because they don’t just quote an insider or source, they use they guy’s name.

“We were all having a really nice time, eating Tex-Mex food and drinking cocktails,” partygoer Chris Ramirez tells Star exclusively. But it all went downhill from there.

“I don’t know how it happened, but the conversation got dirty fast,” says Ramirez. “Someone said oral sex should only be between man and wife. Then Tony chimed in, ‘A mouth is a mouth. What’s the difference?”

At that, Eva, 32, jumped up and screamed at her NBA star husband, “I can’t believe you said that! What do you mean, you’d take oral sex from anyone?” Then she let loose and slapped him hard across the shoulder, adds Ramirez. And if that wasn’t enough, she took a second shot, hitting him upside the head!

Although her rep denies the fight, Ramirez insists, “Eva was mad as hell, but Tony just sat there and did nothing. She then stomped off to another room, and we all sat there quietly. It was so awkward. I just thought to myself, ‘These two are crazy!’ Even before she made that comment, she kept hitting him and pushing him around - and she’s so tiny!”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, January 28, 2008]

And the witness goes on to say that Eva drank a lot that night and never looked at Tony after that incident. She made him sleep down the hall in his own room, which is where she banishes him whenever they have a fight. Star calls it his “doghouse room” and says that it’s “even decorated specifically for him with framed photos of the Spurs, a huge flatscreen TV and matching cherrywood furniture.” The closet in that room is filled with Tony’s clothes, too, since Eva’s stuff takes up the two closets in the master bedroom.

I do not believe that Tony Parker cheated on Eva Longoria in any way. Although I was inclined to believe those titillating stories and details came out late last year it’s clear that he was set up in a plot by an opportunistic hooker who pulled the same stunt with another sports star. She used photos of different models and tricked a “Germany’s Next Top Model” contestant into recording videos saying she slept with Tony. This party where Eva smacked Tony then ignored him all night took place on December 8th, which was nearly a week before the news got out that a woman was accusing Tony of cheating on Eva, so it’s not like she was pissed off over that.

There’s no excuse for hitting someone though, and just because Eva’s a small woman she doesn’t get a pass. That kind of intimidation is abusive and cruel and Eva is a little tyrant if she treats her husband like that.

It looks like Longoria is knocked up. She took pains to say she wasn’t pregnant and had just gained some strike pounds, but that was the first time I’d heard about her supposed pregnancy. Eva “pay attention to meee” Longoria wants everyone speculating about her maybe-pregnancy, so she put the news out there. She’s wearing looser clothing and it could be an attempt to fuel the rumors, but she does look pregnant. She hopefully didn’t know about it back in December or she wouldn’t have been drinking. I bet Tony is forced to stay in his “doghouse room” for the duration of his mean wife’s pregnancy.

Eva Longoria is shown leaving the Mandarin Hotel in Miami on 1/18/08.

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Eva Longoria Feels Good About Suing X17

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

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Eva Longoria and Tony Parker are suing paparazzi photo agency X17 after they reported that Tony cheated on her with a model he met at the couple’s wedding.

Longoria says the whole ordeal upset her and she feels completely justified taking it to court.

She says, “It’s easy when things aren’t true. This is the first time Tony and I have had to sue someone over something. It was just so far-fetched and so false.”

Eva adds that despite reports she and Parker are on the rocks, her husband is even more romantic now that they are married. “He plans a lot of surprises. He’s been planning my birthday, which is in March, for the past six months. And he has our first year anniversary gift already.”

Source

Model Says Woman Tricked Her Into Claiming Affair with Tony Parker

Source: www.celebitchy.com


We were initially a bit divided as to whether married Tony Parker could be guilty of the hotel romps that were claimed by a French model. Alexandra Paressant went to paparazzi agency X17 with an amusing tale of hooking up with Parker on separate occasions, claiming that he was seeking sex outside his new marriage to Eva Longoria because the petite actress thought sperm was bad for her skin, didn’t want to have sex in front of mirrors, and didn’t like certain sexual positions. Paressant offered four text messages presumably from Parker and her plane ticket to San Antonio as “proof” of their relationship. Parker sued X17 for $20 million, claiming they didn’t do their journalistic duty by failing to report his side of the story and not adequately checking out the woman’s story.

Paressant claimed last year that Brazilian soccer player Ronaldinho performed poorly at the World Cup because he was busy bedding her and playing Playstation late into the night. Ronaldinho also sued her for that claim, and while I initially thought that he had actually dated Paressant the real story is that, like Parker, he’s never even met her. She called Ronaldinho constantly, though, pestering him and threatening suicide. She also seems to not be a real model and to be using another woman’s pictures and passing them off as her own.

Dana Kennedy at The Huffington Post investigated the story and concluded that all of Parressant’s claims about both Parker and Ronaldinho were fabricated. In fact she found that many of the photos on X17 were of German model Hana Nitsche, a second runner up on Germany’s Next Top Model’s second season.

There are two different videos of a woman who is supposedly this Paressant person on X17, and she looks an awful lot like the German model mentioned in the Huffington Post article, Hana Nitsche.

It turns out that all of the videos and photos were of Hana Nitsche, not this Paressant person, who no one has ever seen, and that Paressant tricked Nitsche into recording the videos and sending the photos to X17 in an elaborate ploy. Nitsche told her story to the German press in which she revealed the plot:

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The 22 year old [model, Hana Nitsche] said that some time ago she was contacted by Alexandra Paressant. “A couple of days ago, she called me again. [She said] I should send her a video.” It was meant to be a casting video. “She gave me the text. She claimed it was about a love movie. I should recite the given sentences. Of course I didn’t know which Tony it referred to.”

[From De.News.Yahoo.Com, roughly translated by my husband]

So some model was tricked by a woman no one has ever seen to claim that she had an affair with Tony Parker. As Crazy Days and Nights reports, it’s not likely that Parker’s lawsuit against X17 for reporting the story will be successful. The woman initially appeared to be believable given the “evidence” she offered and the videos, which weren’t even of her. I would like to see what this Paressant person really looks like as she’s led away in handcuffs and/or sued into the ground by Parker and Longoria. They aren’t my favorite celebrity couple, but when weirdos target people like this they need to be made examples of.

Tony Parker is suing

Source: theblemish.com

Alexandra Parresant

Tony Parker has filed a $20 million lawsuit against X17 who claimed he had an affair with Alexandra Paressant shortly after he married Eva Longoria. The suit alleges X17 defamed him and that X17 never tried contacting him to verify the information. Tony claims,

“X17 had to know that the story was false, or at the very least, it had to have entertained serious doubts about the credibility of its supposed source.”

This could have all been avoided if Eva was into anal and facials. Two things which are a requirement in marriage. It says so in this marriage handbook that I may or may not have just written on this Burger King placemat. See? Ooops, it should read “anal” not “annal”.

Tony Parker sues X17 for story about alleged affair with model

Source: www.celebitchy.com

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Eva Longoria’s husband has issued a second stronger rebuttal that he never cheated on his wife with French model Alexandra Paressant. Paressant told her story to paparazzi photo agency X17 in which she claims to have had sex with basketball player Tony Parker at hotels while he was away from his new wife. To corroborate her story she offered four text messages supposedly from Parker in which he asked her in French to meet him. She also added the detail that she was friends with Parker on MySpace, which made her story look false to me, because that’s pretty weak evidence and why would you say that unless you were desperate? A video of the preening model repeating her claim also made her seem less than sincere.

Tony Parker’s first statement didn’t deny the woman’s claim and simply said “I love my wife. She’s the best thing in my life, and I have never been happier.” Perhaps realizing his oversight, he issued another statement through his lawyer that explicitly denied even knowing Paressant, and gave hints of litigation to come:

“Tony adamantly and unconditionally denies ever having laid eyes on this woman, let alone having had an affair with her,” says the attorney, Stanton “Larry” Stein. “The allegations of the supposed affair are entirely false and fabricated.”

Stein went on to say he would “pursue all legal remedies against those making such false accusations.

[From “>News.aol.com]

Late yesterday the news came out that Parker is suing X17 for $20 million for reporting Paressant’s story. I read through the lawsuit papers available on TMZ and Parker’s lawyers’ main complaint seems to be that not only are the claims by Parressant totally false, but that X17 refused to issue a retraction, correction or even acknowledge their statements that her story was false when they were told repeatedly.

They also note that X17 really didn’t do any homework to verify or disprove her claims and that “By intentional and reckless conduct, Defendant caused substantial harm to Plaintiff, in complete disregard of the truth and of even journalistic integrity.”

They also seem quite miffed that the articles are still available with such flimsy evidence as the supposed text messages and a flight itinerary to San Antonio from France, and that Tony’s rep’s statements were never mentioned in the posts.

It’s sounding more and more like this story is a complete fabrication, but if there’s any truth to it it’s sure to come out in the lawsuit. This is the same woman who was sued by Brazilian soccer player Rhinaldo for telling British rag The Sun that he was having sex with her most nights of the World Cup in which he performed miserably and lost. Maybe X17 could have avoided this if they would have checked her out a little more carefully and/or first published a retraction when Tony’s camp denied the story.

Eva and Tony are shown leaving LA for a weekend break on 12/14/07, thanks to Splash News.

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