Source: theblemish.com

Tom Brady yesterday shot down reports that he and Gisele Bundchen are expecting. Brady said, “One is enough. I have dogs and that’s all I need.”

Brady has the right idea. I’ll never understand why people impregnate their supermodel girlfriends right after they marry. You’d think they’d not want them to get fat for almost a year and squeeze out a little demon that makes said supermodel too tired for sex. It’s like winning the lottery and putting all that money into a CD. Normal people don’t do that. They blow it on hookers and risky investments.

Source: theblemish.com

Tom Brady and Gisele Bundchen were recently married in two separate ceremonies. One in Santa Monica and another in Costa Rica. Now Radar claims that Gisele has already told close friends that she’s been knocked up. This will make it Tom’s second child with a supermodel. The first one being with Bridget Moynahan.

Oh, sure Tom. Rub it in all our faces. Not only are you a quarterback for the Pats and get to bang super rich models all day, but now we find out you’re insanely virile. Whatever dude. Fuck you and your fabulous life.

Source: theblemish.com

Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady held their second wedding in Costa Rica this weekend when two photographers tried to snap pictures of the ceremony from a neighbor’s house 300 feet away. Since Gisele had an exclusive deal with a Brazilian magazine, friends weren’t too thrilled. Brady’s bodyguards called the photogs over to the house where Tom’s buddies verbally bashed the two paps. They managed to flee in their SUV but not before one of Brady’s men pulled a gun and shot at them as they drove away. The bullet shattered their back window, the bullet barely missing both their heads.

Brady and Gisele were married in Los Angeles County in February, and were renewing their vows on Saturday. Just as the photographers started snapping, the couple’s bodyguards spotted them and chased them, according to Aviles.

The pair ran back to Cortez’s Suzuki SUV, parked about 500 feet away in dense brush.

They split up as they ran away, and by the time Aviles said he reached the SUV, his colleague was already there speaking to a Brady bodyguard.

Aviles quoted the guard as saying, “Tom Brady just wants to talk to you. It’s OK, nothing’s going to happen.

But when the photographers accepted the guard’s invitation back to Gisele’s house, they were swarmed by three members of the wedding party and five hired goons dressed all in black.

The New England Patriot quarterback’s best man berated the photographers and wanted to provoke a brawl, the lensmen said.

“Take a picture of me now, you f- – -er! F- – - you,” Brady’s righthand man, whose name was not immediately known, screamed, according to Aviles.

“He was very angry. It looked like he wanted to attack us,” Aviles said. The photographers lied their way out of the tight spot — saying they hadn’t taken a single frame.

Wedding photographs are serious business. Imagine what would happen if paps tried to snap pictures of a Tom Brady / Gisele Bundchen baby if they had an exclusive deal. Bodyguards would probably rape their entire family and execute them at gunpoint.

[NYP, Image via Gawker]

Source: theblemish.com

Gisele Bundchen has already stolen Tom Brady from Bridget Moynahan who he dumped after getting pregnant. Now, Gisele, having never even met Bridget, will be stealing her baby, John, as well. In a recent interview with Vanity Fair, Gisele says:

“I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it’s not like because somebody else delivered him, that’s not my child. I feel it is, 100 percent,” Gisele says. “I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that’s important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine. I already feel like he’s my son, from the first day.”

This would sort of be like invading a country then salting their fields and raping their women. The only thing left for Gisele to take from Bridget at this point is her dignity and, rest assured, she’s whittling away at that as we speak. By this time next week, Bridget will just be an empty husk of a person cradling a dirty pile of underwear she’s crafted to resemble her baby.

Source: theblemish.com

Well, not in those exact words. It was more inferred than anything else. Speaking to Harper Bazaar, Gisele says her husband Tom Brady is “very naive, almost like a child.” She goes on to say:

“One thing that I thought was so amazing when I first met him is that he is innocent,” she adds. “He sees the world with colored glasses. He’s very strong and focused in his job, but he’s so sensitive.”

Tom Brady is a big baby who cries a lot. Gotcha. His teammates are going to ride him so hard next season. Expect them to put baby powder in his locker and buy him a warm bottle of milk instead of a beer and go, “Baby want his bottle? Baby want his bottle?” And then there will be that one guy who goes too far and tries to put a diaper on Tom after he finishes showering and doesn’t stop trying even as everyone’s initial laughter turns to uncomfortable chuckles.

Source: theblemish.com

First, TMZ reported that supermodel Gisele Bundchen accepted Tom Brady’s proposal of marriage aboard a private jet. Then, a little over a week ago, PEOPLE reported that Tom and Gisele were engaged for real this time after Tom proposed to Gisele with a diamond solitaire. Today in this never ending saga, Gisele denies the engagement rumors.

I don’t know how people are so creative,” said Gi, who was back home in Brazil for Sao Paulo Fashion Week. “First they said he proposed to me in a plane. Imagine, it was Dec. 24, Christmas, we were flying to Boston, then there was some champagne and we celebrated the date.

“Ready? Someone deduced I was getting engaged! I received more than 100 e-mails from friends commenting about the proposal. Now there’s a new rumor, that he proposed to me on last Friday. I wasn’t even there, how can that be true?”

Great. Here I am just about to hide in my “Happy engagement, Gisele” Trojan horse cake that I painstakingly worked on for the past week and was about to have delivered to her house. Now she’s not even getting married. Don’t I look like an idiot.

Source: theblemish.com

Tom Brady impregnated his ex-girlfriend, Bridget Moynahan, but that didn’t stop him from dumping her and hooking up with Gisele Bundchen. Anyway, Tom Brady proposed to Gisele over the weekend giving her a diamond solitaire and of course she said yes because girls love shiny things. Sources say they’re planning a spring wedding.

“He asked and she accepted,” a source close to the couple tells PEOPLE. Family and friends were informed over the weekend. An official announcement, as well as preliminary wedding details, are being planned by Bündchen and her closest friends this week.

“The couple is discussing a huge fashionista event in the spring or a more intimate and quicker ceremony in Costa Rica, where Gisele has a home,” the source adds.

Right. A huge fashionista event. Sounds like Tom Brady is a huge homo. Granted, I don’t even know what a fashionista event is and, sure, Tom bangs supermodels and dumps them when they’re pregnant to move on to his next supermodel and repeats this ad nauseam but… Hold on. I forgot where I was going with this.

Source: theblemish.com

Tom Brady nervously proposed to supermodel Gisele Bundchen while flying from New Jersey to Boston on a private jet. Four dozen roses, champagne and Gisele’s parents were reportedly on board as well. Awww.

I think it was a good idea for Tom to propose 30,000 feet above ground. That way if Gisele said “no,” he could just push her out the emergency exit.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: theblemish.com

A Chinese eatery by the name of Philippe frequented by the rich and famous are denying claims that their employees screen recordings of celebrities who dined in their “private” wine cellar. An insider tells the Post:

“They’ve watched tape of Diddy and Sienna Miller hanging out and Tom Brady and Gisele [Bundchen] hooking up. They get a kick out of it, they laugh and comment on people,” said our source. “Only a small circle of staffers there [knows] what’s going on.”

Ronn Torossian, a rep for the restaurant, confirms there are video cameras in the private rooms, but insists they’re for security purposes and that all tapes are kept off-site and deleted. Security purposes only. Wink wink Ronn. I gotcha. What do you say after Page Six leaves we go view these non-existent tapes? I’ll even bring my friend George Washington. If you’re really good, I’ll even bring along his identical twin. Cha-ching, Ronn, cha-ching.