Source: theblemish.com

Trying and failing to promote Black Eyed Peas’ new album, Fergie claims to have dabbled in lesbianism. She tells The Sun, “Put it this way, I’ve experimented definitely, but I have never had a steady girlfriend.”

If that wasn’t enough to make your stomach do flips, then maybe this well. Fergie’s next video for the upcoming single “I Got A Feeling” features her in a girl-on-girl tease scene. “I met the girls right before we did the scene.They were beautiful. They were hot. One of them was the director’s girlfriend — so he was happy!”

Is that legal? To rape my mind like that? If you could see my imagination, it would be laying balled up in the shower naked, rocking back and forth and weeping. It’ll never get its innocence back.

Source: theblemish.com

Telling Hollyscoop at the Rock Fashion Week in Miami, the balding Fergie says that after her tour, she’d love to discuss adopting and maybe having her own babies if mother nature approves. The good news is that nature will not allow cross breeding and the baby Fergie ends up adopting won’t be genetically linked to her. The bad news, for the kid, is Fergie is their mother which is like being in a never ending nightmare. Her kid is going to end up asking the monsters under the bed to check for Fergie.

Source: theblemish.com

You wish and wish upon shining stars, falling stars and whatever other kinds of stars you’re supposed to wish upon, but you never believe that one day you’ll come face to face with pictures of Fergie in a bikini. Is this a dream? One that you can wake up from? Hopefully? Please, tell me I can wake up from this.

Source: theblemish.com

Fergie and Josh Duhamel were married about a month ago. People were hoping that would be the end of that and Fergie would live a quiet life outside of anyone’s line of sight. Possibly in a cave somewhere with the rest of her mountain people. Alas, that was not to be. Us detailed their wedding and have a few photos of her wedding.

They also have black and whites of Fergie making out with Josh on a bed. These may seem lovey dovey at first, but realize that Josh is paralyzed from the neck down and the drugs are far from wearing off. Muahahahaha!

More photos at ONTD.

Source: theblemish.com

Josh Duhamel still hasn’t received his prescription lenses from Costco. That’s the only reason I can think of for him marrying Fergie on Saturday.

The wedding was held at the Church Estates Vineyards in Malibu “under magnolia trees filled with thousands of white roses.” Juxtaposed with Fergie’s face, it made for an interesting ceremony.

The ceremony was followed by a reception in a tent decorated as a forest of trees, with the ceiling covered in lights.

Among the invited guests were new parents Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O’Connell, Mario Lopez, Stacy Keibler, Kid Rock, Slash, Kate Hudson (Fergie’s costar in her upcoming movie Nine), the members of Black Eyed Peas including will.i.am, and Duhamel’s Las Vegas costars James Caan, Molly Sims and Vanessa Marcil.

They have since left for their tropical honeymoon where Fergie is expected to devour Josh Duhamel’s head after procreating with him.

[Image via Splash News]

Source: theblemish.com

Three days before their wedding, Josh Duhamel and Fergie held a joint bachelor and bachelorette party which should give more of an indication of how much Josh hates his life. He can’t even get naked chicks to grind on him without some f’d up monster watching him. PEOPLE describes:

“Josh and Fergie usually spend so much time away from each other, so they wanted to make this week special and spend as much time together as possible,” says a source.

“So they decided to have a joint bachelor and bachelorette party and have their friends mingle and get to know each other before the big day.”

Optometrists suspect Josh is now legally blind. To wit, when normal people look at Fergie, they see Warwick Davis still in his Leprechaun costume. When Josh Duhamel sees Fergie, he sees a puff of cotton forming a faint outline of a female figure. Probably the only reason Josh is still with her is because she can make her vagina make it feel like he’s getting a BJ.

Source: theblemish.com

Having gained weight for her upcoming role in Nine, she plays a prostitute, evidently a fat one, Fergie has sworn to slim down before her wedding on Jan. 10. At her NYE concert in Vegas at The Venetian, Fergie said she has been “working out every day.” Her routine?

“A lot of hiking and doing a bunch of sit-ups, working my butt off and just, you know, try to maintain and stay healthy.”

Fergie’s body isn’t the issue here. It’s that other thing. Her face. She should work more on that. Sure, her imitation of the Leprechaun is impeccable, but that’s not going to win her any beauty pageants. Maybe she can get a transplant of some sort. Perhaps, sew Heidi Klum’s face onto hers? I’d still ask her to put a bag over her head because of the unsightly scars and unseemly bleeding, but it’d be a marked improvement.

Source: theblemish.com

Singer and scary leprechaun Fergie gained 13 pounds for her upcoming role in Nine. A film about a guy who bangs a lot of chicks. Naturally, Fergie is one of them.

“I ate everything!” she continued. “Fish and chips. Everything fried – things I don’t normally eat.” But now, she said, “I have to give it up! So, yeah – I’m in that phase! Back to diet designs – my food delivery service!”

You know that’s a lie. Fergie eats fish fresh. She goes down to the river each morning and swats at the salmon like a bear and then when she catches one, she devours it whole. Aquatic creatures have come to know her has Godzilla. Translated it means, “Scary meth face freak who eats us alive.”

Also, I don’t know why Fergie is the only one showing her crotch in the Nine promo pic. It’s very unsettling. In fact, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to vomit now.

Source: theblemish.com

The Rob Marshall directed musical, Nine, has assembled a who’s who cast of actors which includes Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cottilard, Penelope Cruz, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman, Sophia Loren and Judi Dench. Now you can add Fergie to the list. Huh? She’s tapped to play Saraghina, “a lusty woman who introduces Guido (Day-Lewis) to the world of sexuality.” Double huh?

Fergie? Introducing someone to a world of sexuality? Is this some sort of joke? How are they going to film this without making Day-Lewis cringe in horror? Put Fergie behind double paned bullet proof glass with a bag over her head? No, no. This isn’t right. This is like having Kristi Ally teach dieting. You know even before she shows up, she’s already scarfed down a baker’s dozen of donut holes. Same with Fergie. You know even before she shows up, she’s going to be ugly.

Source: theblemish.com

Fergie reportedly spent more than $1,000 at an L.A.-area baby store July 8. She also supposedly bought a pink-themed gift set of “T-shirts, bibs and burpclothes from plainmary.com” All this has led people to believe Fergie might be pregnant with Josh Duhamel’s baby which implies inter-species breeding is plausible.

At first I was dubious, but this might have some merit to it. During a recent nature hike, a brave photographer snapped that picture of Fergie about to eat a dog. She must be really hungry to do this in broad daylight, outside of her cave.