Source: theblemish.com

Singer and scary leprechaun Fergie gained 13 pounds for her upcoming role in Nine. A film about a guy who bangs a lot of chicks. Naturally, Fergie is one of them.

“I ate everything!” she continued. “Fish and chips. Everything fried - things I don’t normally eat.” But now, she said, “I have to give it up! So, yeah – I’m in that phase! Back to diet designs – my food delivery service!”

You know that’s a lie. Fergie eats fish fresh. She goes down to the river each morning and swats at the salmon like a bear and then when she catches one, she devours it whole. Aquatic creatures have come to know her has Godzilla. Translated it means, “Scary meth face freak who eats us alive.”

Also, I don’t know why Fergie is the only one showing her crotch in the Nine promo pic. It’s very unsettling. In fact, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to vomit now.

Source: theblemish.com

The Rob Marshall directed musical, Nine, has assembled a who’s who cast of actors which includes Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cottilard, Penelope Cruz, Kate Hudson, Nicole Kidman, Sophia Loren and Judi Dench. Now you can add Fergie to the list. Huh? She’s tapped to play Saraghina, “a lusty woman who introduces Guido (Day-Lewis) to the world of sexuality.” Double huh?

Fergie? Introducing someone to a world of sexuality? Is this some sort of joke? How are they going to film this without making Day-Lewis cringe in horror? Put Fergie behind double paned bullet proof glass with a bag over her head? No, no. This isn’t right. This is like having Kristi Ally teach dieting. You know even before she shows up, she’s already scarfed down a baker’s dozen of donut holes. Same with Fergie. You know even before she shows up, she’s going to be ugly.

Source: theblemish.com

Fergie reportedly spent more than $1,000 at an L.A.-area baby store July 8. She also supposedly bought a pink-themed gift set of “T-shirts, bibs and burpclothes from plainmary.com” All this has led people to believe Fergie might be pregnant with Josh Duhamel’s baby which implies inter-species breeding is plausible.

At first I was dubious, but this might have some merit to it. During a recent nature hike, a brave photographer snapped that picture of Fergie about to eat a dog. She must be really hungry to do this in broad daylight, outside of her cave.

Source: theblemish.com

Who has it worse? Fergie, who has to stand next to Eva Mendes, someone a billion times hotter than her and makes her look like an even fuglier monster, or Eva Mendes, who has to stand next to Fergie, a person whose ugliness could very well be contagious? I’m going to have to go with Eva Mendes only because it’s a scientific fact ugly people don’t have feelings.

Source: theblemish.com

One time I thought I saw Fergie on the beach in a two-piece. “Don’t be a hero,” I warned myself. Alas, I knew I was the only one who could help. As I quietly and steadily inched closer to her like a cat stalking its prey, I realized, to my relief, it was just a really ugly dude so I put down the stake I was about to drive through her heart and returned to sipping my piña colada as handmaidens massaged my feet.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Fergie & John Legend

Fergie & Heart

Source: seriouslyomg.com

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

“I had about 20 different conspiracy theories. I painted the windows in my apartment black so ‘they’ couldn’t see in. One day, when I was about 90 pounds, a guy comes up to me… I’m searching in the bushes for clues about whatever they’re after me for. I’m in a cowboy hat and red lips. He hands me a muffin. I’m thinking, he’s in on it.”

- Fergie Ferg looking back on her days as a crystal meth user.

Source

Source: evilbeetgossip.com

Page Six is reporting that Fergie and Josh Duhamel have moved up their wedding date — because she is P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T.

“She picked up a wedding dress while she was in New York for Fashion Week and wants to move the wedding up so she is married before the bump becomes too obvious,” one insider said. “At Clive’s, she just drank water.”

It’s baby year, people! Hurry up and get pregnant before you become one of those losers who gives birth in 2009. By then, babies will be so last year and you’ll need to spend all sorts of money on a Hermes clutch to be cool. Much simpler to have a child.

Source: theblemish.com

Page Six claims Fergie may be pregnant with something. They suspect she’s gestating because her and her fiancé, Josh Duhamel, have moved up their wedding date.

“She picked up a wedding dress while she was in New York for Fashion Week and wants to move the wedding up so she is married before the bump becomes too obvious,” one insider said. “At Clive’s, she just drank water.”

I suppose congratulations are in order. I didn’t even know Fergie could breed with humans. I thought she was a leprechaun. Maybe I didn’t watch far enough in the series, but I’m pretty sure leprechauns can’t give birth. What kind of sorcery is this?!