Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan flew to London in a bid to stalk her ex, Samantha Ronson, and somehow convince her that she’s not a complete lunatic and that they’re relationship deserves another shot. Surprisingly, this didn’t end with Lindsay standing over Samantha’s body with a knife weeping, “What have I done?” It actually worked. Stalkers everywhere have been vindicated!

The Sun writes: “However she finally pegged Sam down for crisis talks at her South London hotel on Saturday night and it appears that her persistence has paid off, as the DJ invited Li-Lo over to her LA pad yesterday afternoon.”

Lindsay even Tweeted: “Leaving London but with my favorite favorite!!!-travel buddy & great news to share!! Maybe….”

Let this be a lesson to you kids. Persistence in the form of stalking your obsession halfway around the world pays off and may not lead to an extended sentence like the judge told you. Although, I don’t see how Lindsay had to work so hard for Samantha’s affection. Sam is fugly and Lindsay isn’t. Don’t the laws of attraction say that Sam should be the desperate one? Sam must have a ten inch penis.

Source: theblemish.com

According to The Daily Mail via NYDN, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson may be back on or at least friends again. Lohan was spotted leaving Ronson’s home Monday morning. Presumably after spending the night and having angry lesbian sex.

This wasn’t the first time the two have been spotted together. In early May, Lohan tried to sneak out of Ronson’s home at 6:30 AM.

It’s clear Lindsay isn’t over the break-up as seen by the crazy, psycho ex-girlfriend statement on Ellen which pretty much claimed they were meant to be together.

I’m not even sure what Ronson has to offer that makes Lindsay keep coming back. Money? Fame? Power? Understanding? An emotional bond? A 10 inch penis? Which is it?

Here’s Lindsay looking completely whacked out coming back from a bar where she supposedly found Sam.

Source: theblemish.com

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Over the weekend, Lindsay was kicked out of Samantha Ronson’s sister’s party by five security guards. Later, Samantha changed the locks on her doors. Then her family went down to the police station to file a restraining order against Lindsay. Apparently, Lindsay thinks Sam is being whimsical.

E! News caught up with Lohan and asked about the single life. Lindsay said, “You guys make it sound like it’s so over. No. People take breaks. It’s okay. It’s normal, people. To focus on themselves.”

Yikes. Samantha should think about beefing up her security before Lindsay scales her fence, breaks into her home, sprinkles rose petals to form a path leading to the bed where she’ll be laying naked and petting her dog whose neck she had to break to keep it quiet.

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan was finally dumped by Samantha Ronson over the weekend and after burying her face in her hands for a day or so, she went to Us Weekly to do a cover story. That’s step four of the healing process in case you were wondering.

Lohan says her split with Sam over the weekend, where Ronson hired five security guards to keep her out of a JCPenny event, was “humiliating” and “absolute hell.”

“Everyone’s turned on me,” says the actress. She tells the magazine that the night of the Chateau showdown, Nicole Richie walked by her and said “Uck,” and Drea De Matteo said, “Come at me, bitch.”

To have Nicole Richie, a girl who weighed 50 pounds on her best day, say “uck” to you is sad. That’s like a blind homeless guy giving you change because you’re so pathetic.

Don’t worry though. Lindsay says those rumors about her threatening to kill herself aren’t true. She still has PEOPLE and OK! Magazine lined up after all.

Source: theblemish.com

The breakup with Samantha Ronson and Ronson’s subsequent seeking of a restraining order has left Lindsay “devastated” say sources close to the freckled one. She’s been crying uncontrollably and those close to Lindsay are worried she might “lash out.”

So, there you go. This boring day became a little bit more exciting at the expense of Lindsay Lohan. Thanks, Lindsay. May your descent into madness last through the rest of the week and end with you standing naked outside of Sam’s house with a knife, smeared in blood, shouting that you two were meant to be together and if you can’t have her, no one can.

Source: theblemish.com

Just yesterday, Lindsay Lohan was blaming the paparazzi and Ronson family members for making her boyfriend Samantha Ronson change all her locks. She kept saying this while she couldn’t get into Sam’s house. Well, it finally sunk in and now Lindsay Lohan tells E! that she and Ronson have broken up. Lindsay, still fooling herself, is calling it a “brief break so I can focus on myself.”

Ronson, however, was looking to file a restraining order against Lohan as early as Monday evening. OK! says Sam’s mother and sister were at the police department asking about TRO’s to “send a message” to Lindsay.

The Ronsons spoke openly to the officer about their situation. “She does these things to get attention,” said Charlotte of Lohan’s recent actions. “She was trying to get into my party this weekend. We had to tell security to keep her out. Then she booked a room at the Chateau Marmont. Her room was right below… She also followed our brother Mark around.”

“[Lindsay] was doing drugs,” added Ann. “And we could not sleep that night at the Chateau. She was complaining about the music and noise coming from upstairs. She was trying to get attention, so that Sam could come down.”

“She cuts herself too,” Ann continued. “She is a cutter!”

“She got up illegally to our room,” Charlotte told the policeman. “She does these acts of public humiliation. It is all for attention… She was also got physical with Mark.”

When this restraining order gets filed, Lindsay will probably go, “It’s cool. It’s cool. Sam and I are just seeing if we’re able to have a long distance relationship. This is just a test of our love.” Meanwhile, 500 yards away, Sam will be buying a gun.

Source: theblemish.com

Over the weekend, locksmiths were spotted changing the locks at Samantha Ronson’s home in Hollywood Hills. This should have been a big hint to Lindsay that it’s over and never to contact Samantha again, but Lindsay is a little thick.

She told the paparazzi, “We changed the locks because people like you were trying to break in.”

Then she fumbled with Samantha’s lock for few minutes, banged on the door and watched as the lights were turned off. She then told the paps that she must have the wrong house before running off crying into the darkness.

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay kicked out of even by Samantha Ronson: Lindsay and Sam may be really broken-up. Samantha Ronson explicitly banned Lindsay from a party at Bar Marmont celebrating her fashion designer sister Charlotte Ronson’s I Heart Ronson clothing line. Lindsay, knowing she was unwelcome, still tried to get in but was held back by five bouncers. They needed that many because they would only touch Lindsay with three fingers like you would a pair of soiled underwear sitting under your bed for two years.

Madonna left Malawi: Madonna left the African country after throwing a farewell party on Saturday. Guests included government officials and staff from Madonna’s charity. On Sunday, she boarded her plane and left proving to Malawians that it takes about 15 shamans to scare away the white witch.

Farrah Fawcett’s son arrested again: While his mom is lying in the hospital, Redmond O’Neal was arrested for drug possession. He was charged with smuggling drugs since he was caught in the jail parking lot. On the bright side, this time it wasn’t a father-son arrest. Which means they’re making progress or daddy is getting really good at hiding drugs.

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan is poor and hasn’t had a film role since 2007. She’s currently living off appearance fees and credit, but no one really wants her for appearances anymore due to her bad press and frequent cancellations so now it’s mainly just credit.

As a result, she’s been borrowing money from her girlfriend Samantha Ronson and the two are constantly fighting about it because her spending is sending Sam to the poor house where Lindsay already has a cot.

“Lindsay is spending like crazy!” a friend of the actress tells us. “She’s living on credit right now. She has no cash. The problem is, the money being spent is mostly Sam’s because Lindsay doesn’t really have any of her own at the moment; she’s really taken on the ‘man’ role in their romance. Sam really thinks Lindsay needs to learn how to become a recessionista and manage her money better.”

Most recent frivolous purchases include a $30k on a Rolex and a Maserati that usually costs almost $100k. Ironic because Lindsay can neither tell time or drive without being drunk and crashing into something.

Now, realizing most avenues of employment have dried up, Lindsay wants to make a quick buck modeling for IMG Models. Ha! Because modeling is just like acting only you don’t have to memorize words and there’s twice as much blow.

If and when she’s finally fired from that job, Lindsay can always come model for me. Just let me know beforehand, ok? I have to set up my lights which are just three flashlights duct taped to the ceiling. I like to keep it real. And untraceable.

Source: theblemish.com

You may have heard that over the weekend, Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson got into another big fight, this time breaking a window and, in the process, attracting the attention of police. Of course, when cops came to the door and started knocking, no one would answer. Most likely because they already reconciled and were in the throws of passion. That or they were hiding under a blanket in the closet waiting for them to go away. Which they did. After almost an hour.

Anyway, Kim Kardashian voiced her opinion on this situation. Finally!

“It’s so sad that there’s such an invasion of privacy, with camera people, cops and paparazzi outside their home,” Kardashian, 28, told PEOPLE Monday.

“I mean, when have you not thrown something when you’re mad?,” says Kardashian. “Everyone has to admit that at one time in their life, they’ve gotten so mad that they’ve thrown something, but maybe not necessarily breaking a window.”

“Can’t people have an argument without everyone watching?”

Let’s see. When have I not thrown something when I was mad. Never? Oh wait… ya, never. Unless you count kicking your stuffed animals and then stomping around your room “throwing things.” Because I don’t. I prefer to call that “passion.”