Source: theblemish.com

After less than a day of deliberation and 6 years after he was first charged, R. Kelly was acquitted of all 14 counts of child pornography. The jury reasoned that the videotape was not enough evidence to convict him. With the fancy CGI we have today, that could have very well been Chuck Norris peeing on that poor girl. Why’d you do it Chuck Norris? Why?!

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

A jury has found R. Kelly not guilty of fourteen counts of child pornography.

Kelly - who has long been rumored to be sexually “into” young girls - has denied that it is him in the video with the 13-year-old girl, six years ago. The victim also denied it was her in the film even though numerous witnesses claim that both Kelly and the victim were indeed the ones in the footage.

Unbelievable.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

• Nick (Bollea) Hogan has been denied his request (hooray!) to be let out of the jail’s solitary confinement and into general population or house arrest. Nick’s attorneys claim the seclusion is cruel and unusual punishment and that it’s unbearable for him to be in there 16-17 hours a day. We wonder if he’d rather be in a coma 24/7?

• Also in Nick Hogan news, Nick has decided to sue the Florida Sheriff’s department that released the phone calls he made from jail to his mother and father. The lawsuit names privacy rights and is seeking to prevent further tapes from being released. Last time I checked you pretty much lose all your rights when incarcerated. Maybe he should exercise his right to shut the f@*% up! Nick’s attorney says, “Nick only asks that he be treated no differently than the other inmates at the Pinellas County Jail. Instead, the Sheriff’s Office has singled him out by the unprecedented release to the media of his personal calls with his family.”

• Those crazy Lohan’s are at it again. Michael Lohan has reopened the divorce case saying that his ex-wife, Dina Lohan, won’t allow him to see his children. He also accuses her of often showing up to therapy sessions late and/or drunk off her ass. He says she failed to bring the children to 15 of 29 judge-ordered visits with their father. He adds that Dina prioritizes her relationship with her children as such: First, as their manager, Secondly as their friend, and Lastly, as their mother. The two were scheduled to appear in court this morning, with Dina facing “immediate arrest and imprisonment” if she didn’t show.

• Lisa Van Allen, R. Kelly’s former lover, is coming forward with tales of the R&B star’s predatory sex practices. She claims he carried a duffel bag of sex tapes with him no matter where he went. She says she was introduced to the under-aged victim before having a threesome, but once Van Allen began crying Kelly became upset and quit filming saying he couldn’t do anything with the footage. She also claims he tried to retrieve the video from her by offering $250,000. Kelly’s attorneys claim Van Allen stole a $20,000 Rolex from the singer and that she may have set him up in order to extort money.

• Megan Fox admits she has a higher sex drive than most teenage boys! Just what the millions of men around the world wanted to hear. The drop dead gorgeous Transformers star says, “I have the libido of a teenage boy. I’d rather have sex all the time than leave the house.” You can pick your tongue off the ground now, guys!

Source: theblemish.com

Yesterday, R. Kelly’s former assistant claimed to be 110% sure it was her boss in that sex video and identified the girl who was said to be 13 or 14 at the time. Today, prosecutors are bringing in a witness to testify that she had a three-way with R. Kelly and the same girl and that she was also a minor when her tape was made.

Testimony by the woman, a single mother from Atlanta, was among the evidence discussed in secret hearings in April before Judge Vincent Gaughan. The judge closed those hearings to the public and put multiple court filings under seal because, he said, he wanted to minimize pretrial publicity.

R. Kelly should start picking out drapes for his new prison cell and also get crackin’ on that shiv because I hear inmates don’t take too kindly to people who have sex with children. Although, there is one way out of this. An ace R. Kelly has had up his sleeve for a while. His plan? Find a time machine to go back and not film himself having sex with a minor. But, wait, what’s this? Time machines don’t exist? Nooooo!

Source: theblemish.com

Lou Pearlman gets 25 years: Lou Pearlman, creator of the horrid boy bands Backstreet Boys and ‘N Sync, was sentenced to 25 years in federal prison for a scam that “bilked thousands of investors out of their life savings.” Lou tricked investors out of $300 million since the early 80’s and plead guilty in March to conspiracy and money laundering. His victims were mostly the elderly who he took everything from.

The judge said he would reduce his sentence by one month for every $1 million he repaid, but it is unlikely he’ll pay everyone back. It is interesting to note that late last year news came out that Lou Pearlman is also a sexual predator who may or may not have had sex with Nick Carter. That part is unclear, but Nick’s mom said what Lou did almost ruined their family.

Clearly, this guy is a winner. A ceremony should be held in his honor and he should be given a golden statue for his humanitarian efforts. That’s what we’ll tell him anyway. In reality, this is more a ceremony of death. When he arrives, Lou will be surprised to learn that each guest has 5 minutes to bludgeon him with said statue which can be described as heavy and really pointy.

R. Kelly is in trouble: R. Kelly is currently on trial for a sex tape he made of himself defiling a 13 or 15-year-old girl. Yesterday, the jury watched the recording.

When the tape was played for the jury, it showed a man handing a female money at the beginning of their encounter and leaving more at the end.

In between, there are sex acts on a bearskin rug. The young woman dances for the man, and he urges her, “Dance faster, baby.” She calls him “Daddy.”

A rapt jury watched the tape in dim light on a 4-foot screen while Kelly sat grim-faced a few feet away. Kelly was indicted on child porn charges six years ago after the tape - now “People’s Exhibit No. 1″ - was sent to a Chicago Sun-Times reporter.

R. Kelly’s defense says that that is not R. Kelly on the tape because he has a mole and the person on the tape doesn’t. Also, the defense claims the victim they identified is not even the one in the video. Of course, their argument would have been more believable had R. Kelly not gotten an erection and asked juror #5 if he could pee on his daughter.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

R. Kelly’s trial is finally underway after 6 years of his attorneys successfully delaying the court process.

Opening arguments were Tuesday and Kelly’s legal team claims that the man in the video couldn’t possibly be their client as he has a prominent mole on his back. They claim the mole has been there since Kelly’s childhood. No mole is seen on the back of the man appearing in the video.

Mole-y! Mole-y! Mole-y!!

“There is no mole on his back,” said Sam Adam Jr., a member of Kelly’s defense team. “Robert Kelly is not on that tape. Not a single witness can tell you that is him on the tape.”

The girl in the questionable film, who is now of legal age, also claims that it’s not her in the video. The defense says that woman is actually a prostitute seen accepting money at the beginning and end of the video.

The couple engage in sexual acts on a bearskin rug and later the female dances and calls the male, “Daddy.”

Prosecutors claim the video was set up by R. Kelly and could have longterm effects on the victim. “A child doesn’t choose to be violated and placed on a videotape, a videotape that will live on forever - long after this child becomes an adult,” Cook County prosecutor Shauna Boliker said.

Kelly faces 15 years in prison if convicted.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Activists are planning to demonstrate at R. Kelly’s concert in Los Angeles this coming Friday to protest him touring while awaiting trial on 14 counts of child pornography.

Kelly’s trial isn’t until Spring of 2008.

African-American campaigners want to remind the public of what the rapper has been accused of. They don’t want Kelly’s fame to overshadow the seriousness of his case.

Activist Jasmyne Cannick says,

“It’s like pulling teeth to get people to talk about this. It’s a challenge to get the black community to even discuss it. They’re acting like he doesn’t have 14 counts of child pornography against him.We’re all acting like we don’t have daughters and nieces and little sisters.

Everyone is making money, and everyone seems OK with him. People really need to wake up.”

Source

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Source: www.celebitchy.com

Who the hell has R Kelly paid off, and how much did it take? There is no way any person with 1/39483rd of a brain would believe that yet another delay has happened for a good, legally justifiable reason. The man who has been waiting for trial for over five years now (imagine how many delays have contributed to that… I’m not even going to count, it makes me so mad) has been granted yet another delay because the lead prosecutor of his case had a baby. Now that fact, in and of itself, makes sense. I mean you don’t pop out a 7 pound creature and just waltz back to work. But generally, babies are something people plan and predict. They’ve had nine months to either work around the birth, or postpone the trial ahead of time, so it at least looks legitimate. But did the judge do that? No, he acted like the baby was a total surprise, and postponed the case just two weeks before it was set to finally go to trial. I will officially now state that, in my opinion, Cook County Circuit Judge Vincent Gaughan has been bribed. Gasp. Five years is bullshit, and everything about this trial is bullshit. Most of the other delays were bullshit, but a freaking baby? This was a condition he was likely aware of for a least a few months – why postpone now!?! I am livid, absolutely livid. Please be livid with me.

“In a case that has been a saga of delays and false starts, R. Kelly’s trial was postponed yet again on Tuesday, with no trial date in sight more than five years after child pornography charges were filed against the R&B singer. The lead prosecutor in the case, Assistant State’s Atty. Shauna Boliker, gave birth last week, prompting the judge presiding over the case to indefinitely postpone the trial less than two weeks before its scheduled start on Sept. 17.

“A spokesman for Cook County Circuit Judge Vincent Gaughan cited doctor’s orders in announcing the decision, a move that has added a familiar air of uncertainty to the case. This was the closest that the trial had come to starting. But it was no secret that Boliker was scheduled to deliver a baby last week, which had led to speculation at the courthouse that the Sept. 17 date was unrealistic.

“Kelly, 40, was indicted in June 2002 on child pornography charges. Officials say he videotaped himself having sex with a girl whom prosecutors say may have been as young as 13. In the more than five years since he was charged, Kelly’s career and popularity have soared. He has produced several hit CDs, gone on tour and recently released the latest installments of his highly successful video serial ‘Trapped in the Closet.’

“Gaughan has issued a gag order that bars the prosecution and the defense from talking about the case. The snail’s pace of the criminal case against Kelly may shake some people’s confidence in the ability of the courts to deal efficiently with cases involving wealthy defendants, legal experts said.”

[From Metromix]

I really am both red and blue in the face right now. If I were the type to have bulging veins and flared nostrils when upset, I’d look like a bull at the moment. How is this possible? How is this not getting more media coverage? R. Kelly tapes himself having sex with a 13 or 14 year old girl, then gets to have six albums, some movies, and tour the country before he so much as sits in a defendant’s chair? Can money really buy your verdict? I don’t think this guy is just spending a lot of money for great, manipulative lawyers. I think he’s bribed someone, or multiple someones. But part of me thinks he hasn’t, because no one would be stupid enough to think they could delay a trial this long, and for such ridiculous reasons. Either there’s a lot of money changing hands, or the level of incompetence is absolutely through the roof. Either way, everyone involved should lose their jobs. I’m that mad.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s R. Kelly at BET’s 25th Anniversary Show. Images thanks to PR Photos.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

R. Kelly, the super-gross most-likely child pornographer will be heading to court in September – and the weeks prior to that have been filled with pre-trial hearings. Today the judged ruled that they can show the video of Kelly having sex with the alleged 13/14 year old girl during the trial. Kelly’s defense team has had some real winners, in terms of excuses why Kelly is innocent. Part of the problem is that they’re throwing out too many of them. They’ve said the videos are newer than thought, making the alleged victim older. They’ve said that it isn’t Kelly, and that they images of him are computer generated. I’m pretty sure their next line will be about aliens having inhabited his body. The victim also claims it’s not her on the tape, though that’s a recent change in her story.

“A Cook County judge has upheld a ruling allowing the media and public to view a videotape allegedly showing singer R. Kelly having sex with an underaged girl.

“Prosecutors asked Judge Vincent Gaughan (GAWN) to reconsider his earlier decision. They say allowing it to be viewed in open court would re-victimize the girl.

“But Gaughan noted that the girl who prosecutors say is in the video has denied it was her.

“Prosecutors claim the video was made between January 1998 and October 2000, when the girl may have been as young as 13.
Kelly has pleaded not guilty to 14 counts of child pornography.”

[From USA Today]

Let’s not forget that this is the man who married singer Aaliyah when she was 15, back in 1995, when he was 27. Wikipedia notes: “In 1995, a rumor surfaced that 15-year-old Aaliyah and 27-year-old R. Kelly had secretly married. Both camps initially denied the rumor, but VIBE magazine published a copy of their marriage license, which showed that Aaliyah’s age had been falsely listed as 18. The marriage was annulled a few months later.” So there’s a legally documented history of Kelly preferring underage girls. Anything under 17 is considered underage in most jurisdictions, including Cook County, where Kelly’s trial is taking place. I really don’t understand why this guy still has a successful career and why this hasn’t tainted his image, but I hope he gets what’s coming to him in prison.

Picture note by JayBird: Here’s R. Kelly at his Trapped in the Closet: Chapters 13-22 Premiere. Image thanks to PR Photos.

Source: www.celebitchy.com

I didn’t want to report on this story despite how easy a target R.Kelly is, because that might mean I would have to watch some of this lengthy and widely panned R&B soap opera. Up until now my exposure to “Trapped in the Closet” was limited to a brief segment on The Daily Show in which it was all too easy to dismiss the laughable creation of an eccentric pedophile who has inexplicably been able to carry on with his singing career. (I guess Michael Jackson set the precedent.)

Now that Kelly has said that the “Trapped in the Closet” hip-hopera series was dictated to him by aliens that came down from space to show him new music video techniques, I can no longer ignore his extra-terrestrial inspired genius. He is quoted at the premiere of Chapters 11-16 using a kind of metaphor but it comes off like he’s saying aliens visited him and inspired him to create the series.

“Don’t nobody ask me no questions I don’t know how to explain how I wrote it” the singer laughed “I’m tired of people asking me that because I can not explain this. I can explain any other song but I cant explain ‘Trapped In The Closet’.”

Kelly went on to explain “It’s an alien, People ask me why is it an alien and I say it’s come down to show us new genres and new ways to produce movies, magic, song and dialogue which have all been put together, and has never been done as far as I’m concerned. I call that alien. And people ask me when ‘Trapped In The Closet’ is going to end and I say when the aliens decide to leave.”

[From NME.com]

So I read the summary of the first three episodes of “Trapped in the Closet” on Wikipedia and a guy played by Kelly ends up sleeping with a married woman whose husband comes home, so he hides in the closet. The husband and wife then mess around, Kelly’s cell phone rings, and the husband discovers him in the closet. Kelly has a loaded gun, so the husband doesn’t give him a beat down. It turns out the husband is a pastor. Then the husband’s lover comes over unexpectedly and it’s a man and all four people stand there arguing. After that I lost interest in the plot, which keeps getting more convoluted.

“Trapped in the Closet” has been parodied on South Park, Saturday Night Live, MadTv, and in a song released by Weird Al Yankovic called “Trapped in the Drive Through.”

I did watch some of it on YouTube, and it seems to merit all the derision it gets. Kelly sings the same tune in different voices with lyrics explaining the plot twists and it’s hard to believe he’s taking it seriously.

Here’s a link to part one. Chapter 15 is below. All the rest are available on YouTube.

After five years of an odd series of coincidences that delayed his trial for child pornography, R.Kelly will finally face the music at his trial September 17. His excuse for those sex videos that surfaced in 2002 featuring a maybe 13 year-old girl was that it wasn’t really him in the act - just a computer-generated image of him. Maybe the aliens made him make that video too.