Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton was heading to a photo shoot when she decided she’d buy a puppy because it would make the pictures cuter. So she went to the Puppy Store on Melrose in LA and demanded a Yorkie. Of course, the whole of LA knows her history with animals so they said “no.” That’s when Paris stomped around like a spoiled brat.

Hilton waltzed in and tried to buy a Yorkie but was rebuffed by an employee who said it was clearly “an impulse buy.” Hilton, who has a menagerie of neglected animals, went “ballistic,” we’re told. “She started screaming, ‘I love my puppies! I want my baby!’” - but to no avail. The store had no comment.

They should have given it to her, but instead of a real dog, they should have handed her a bunch of firecrackers in the shape of a dog with a little sweater over it. That way when she walked out the door the whole thing would blow up in her hands and she’ll have all this black soot over her face and look bewildered. I mean, that’s what would happen if she was in a cartoon. In real life, she would probably suffer third degree burns and doctors would need to graft skin from her ass to her face to make her look relatively normal. People would then call her ass-face and she couldn’t deny it. So… even better.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Did Benji Madden’s super-sperm manage to break through the Bermuda Triangle of STDs and impregnate Paris Hilton?

Some think so, others think Paris is just sticking her bloated bulimic gut out as a publicity stunt. Regardless, she does look like she could be pregs, but c’mon, we all know this dumb bitch, she’ll do anything for press.

US Weekly is reporting that Paris’ spokesperson is denying reports.

There’s still hope!

Source: theblemish.com

The big news today is Paris Hilton may be with child or at least trying hard to fake it. Paris was walking around with Benji Madden yesterday looking pregnant or fat. Whatever you want to call it.

So, has Paris Hilton’s dream finally come true? Can she finally one up that bitch Nicole Richie? Can Paris’ overstretched woman parts even keep a fetus from falling out? Maybe these photos of Paris possibly covering up a baby bump with a towel and falling in love with her own reflection will help answer those questions. Or maybe not.

Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton has begun filming her new reality show, Paris BFF, where people apply to be her new best friend. That’s why no one has heard from her recently. Until today. This one comes from FOX News who say Paris was spotted at a party requesting the DJ not play songs lasting more than 20 seconds because she has ADD.

ADD, of course, stands for “I’m a spoiled princess that just enjoys making people do what I want,” but Paris is an idiot and messed up the acronym. I swear, if I saw her at a club, I’d go right up to her, look her in her stupid wonky eye, the one staring at me not the one floating to the right, and say “hello, nice to meet you, I’m a big big fan,” but I would secretly be thinking about calling her a dumb retarded bitch. If I had the power of telepathy, that would be a pretty badass moment.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

In a recent interview Paris Hilton was asked about her grandfather leaving most of his billions to assorted charities instead of the Hilton’s themselves.

It was a question Paris didn’t really care for..heh. Like the dumb bitch doesn’t have enough money already.

Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton, realizing her best friend Nicole Richie has beat her to the punch many times this past year, told PEOPLE that she wants a piece of that publicity pie to marry Benji Madden.

“He wants to [get hitched],” she told PEOPLE Thursday night at London’s Nobu, where she showed up for a late-night snack with Madden and her parents. “We talk about it.”

“I’d wear a beautiful white dress,” she said dreamily, “probably Dolce & Gabbana.”

I hope everything goes wrong for this whore’s wedding. I would be forever grateful to the gods if Paris spills wine on her dress five minutes before and a bunch of minorities show up unannounced because something tells me she doesn’t have a high regard for them.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

It looks like David Letterman and Paris Hilton got over their differences after her last appearance.

Last time he almost made her cry, it was awesome. Unfortunately, this one isn’t as entertaining.

This time Paris talks about her new reality show on MTV, Nicole Richie and their relationship, and, of course, Benji Madden, whom she says she wants to be with “forever”. :rolleyes:

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Paris Hilton launched her new line of hair extensions in New York today.

The extensions, Clipin-Go by Paris Hilton, will be available at Sally Beauty Supply in ten different shades. They are currently only available in the 18″ length, but more variations and colors will be available in the near future.

Mike Spinozzi, president of Sally Beauty Supply, said, “It’s a powerful combination and we’re excited to work with Paris. She’s business-savvy and very creative.”

Hilton said at the launching, “I’ve been wearing hair extensions for years and have tried other products that didn’t work. When I started using DreamCatchers from my line I started using the best quality and styles. I’m always coming up with new ideas because I love coming up with fun hairstyles.”

The Barbie hair will retail for $79.99.

Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton wants children. Never have so few words sent such shivers down my spine. What’s even more terrifying is Paris believes she’ll be a fantastic mother because she has so many pets. At last count, she had a ferret, a chinchilla a kinkajou and more than a dozen dogs.

She says, “I have lots of beautiful animals that I look after and I feel I would have a lot to give my children.” The 27-year-old is currently linked to Good Charlotte rocker Benji Madden, the twin brother of Richie’s partner Joel.

Paris Hilton is retarded so I’m not exaggerating when I say she might kill the baby. When it starts crying, the first thing Paris will do is look for the “off” switch. Failing to find it, she’ll try to take the batteries out. But, OMG, there isn’t a battery compartment. This must be, like, one of those advanced Japanese babies. So she’ll end up shaking it because obviously it’s broken and that’s what dumb people do to things they think are broken. That’s when she’ll discover babies’ brains don’t like being violently thrashed around inside their skull.