Source: theblemish.com

Paris’ epic whore saga continues. A day after sucking face with Cristiano Ronaldo and mere hours after her ex, Doug Reinhardt released this statement: “Doug refuses to take part of this ridiculous media circus. He wishes Paris and all of her future boyfriends the best of luck,” Paris went back to Doug’s house to reconcile. TMZ explains:

But our spies say last night Paris begged Doug to take her back. She told him she loved him and had made a mistake by breaking up with him.

We’re told she was texting him all night and then showed up at his house at 4 AM this morning, banging on his door. Apparently Doug succumbed to her charm … which means he scored.

Dear lord, can Paris go one day without sticking a penis inside her? Her vagina must be exhausted. It probably looks like Kristie Alley after a marathon: Dry heaving, clutching its chest and asking to be put out of its misery .

Source: theblemish.com

Just a day after her break-up, Paris Hilton has already moved on. To Ronaldo. World famous soccer star. That whore moves fast. From The Sun:

“Cristiano and Paris were all over each other swapping spit the entire night!

“His table needed every waitress in the building to bring all the alcohol he was getting through to him. He spent in excess of $20,000 on champagne and drinks. He was having a great time.”

The Portuguese star left the club with Paris at 3am and drove to Nicky’s pad in West Hollywood.

He was spotted leaving at 5am, sporting trademark grin.

I don’t know who the bigger whore is. Paris or Ronaldo. I wonder if their std’s battled it out for supremacy or did they just meet in the middle in neutral territory to insult each other with “yo momma’s so fat” jokes.

Source: theblemish.com

Remember when Paris Hilton hinted at maybe settling down with her boyfriend of six months Doug Reinhardt? Yea, that’s not happening. Whores don’t settle down. Hilton’s rep told PEOPLE on Wednesday that the fairytale is over.

“In response to the inquiry on whether Paris Hilton has split up with Doug Reinhardt, yes, this is true they are no longer together. They remain friends and ask that you please respect their privacy.”

Turns out the fastest way to a man’s heart isn’t dry humping him all over the dance floor. The good news is at least we won’t be seeing any more of that for a while. The bad news is it’s time to dust off that full body condom now that Paris is back on the prowl.

Source: theblemish.com

Tired of whoring her junk around Hollywood, Bigfoot may be ready to settle down and hinted at a possible summer wedding with Dough Reinhardt. Says E!:

At the MTV Awards, the thin-but-not-too-thin rich bitch started giggling and looked at Doug, attached to her arm: “You know, we’ll see. If things go the way they are…Let’s just say I’ve never been happier. You never know.”

Of course, her wonky eye made it hard to discern what she was giggling at or responding to. Just to the left of her was a clown juggling water balloons. Maybe she didn’t even hear what E! said. It’s always so hard to interview Paris when one of her eyes won’t cooperate.

Source: theblemish.com

There still isn’t solid evidence that the Eminem stunt was staged (there’s speculation that it was to a point), but it is known that Eminem’s face was producer Mark Burnett’s second choice for Sacha Cohen to stick his bare ass in. Life&Style says Paris Hilton was initially offered the role of “enraged celebrity,” but declined after she somehow developed dignity inside of a week.

Please remember that this is the same Paris that started her career by releasing a porno of herself and dry humped her boyfriend in a club at Cannes not even a week ago. In fact had Paris gone through with the stunt, it would have slightly edged out “wearing underwear” as the least shocking thing she’d ever done.

Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton took to her MySpace yesterday to refute reports that she was thrown off David Furnish’s yacht for unsociable behavior. She said that didn’t happen and that it would never happen. Plus it was her friend’s boat.

Clearing up another LIE
That story some tabloid ran about my boyfriend and I on a yacht is such a lie that it’s a joke! That was my good friends boat and first of all she would never ask me to leave and second of all I would never do that. It’s so lame that people will just create these crazy stories. I can’t believe the stories people will make up, so gross! I’m so sick of all these false rumors, it’s not fair that writers can get away it. They have no credibility. Hope everyone’s having a fun and safe Memorial Day! love Paris

When told that unsociable behavior also included giving her boyfriend a handjob in the bathroom, Paris said, “Ohhh. Okay. Yea, then. Nevermind.”

Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton and boyfriend Doug Reinhardt — starting out a story like that never bodes well — were invited to a yacht party by a guy named David Furnish, Elton John’s lover.

As soon as they arrived, they started mouth fucking in front of everyone. The collective retching only stopped when Paris and Dough made their way below deck to start the real show. Thankfully, David caught and stopped them as they were about to close the door.

The captain also found out and kicked their asses off the boat for “unsociable behavior.” The two left to what I assume was thunderous applause.

Someone give the captain a medal. Next time though, throw them overboard. With the amount of rocks in their head, they’ll hopefully sink to the bottom of the ocean.

Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton and her boyfriend Doug Reinhardt hit up a club in Cannes last night and pretty much humped each other around the place. God damn, this isn’t a porno set.

You want to know why Paris and Doug were the only ones sitting? Because no one else wanted anywhere near those snail trails Paris left on the seats. Even pouring hand sanitizer over the area didn’t work. Paris’ vagina juice just sort of repelled the antibacterial liquid like oil does to water.

Source: theblemish.com

Is she trying to kiss him or deepthroat his face? Not sexy at all. This looks more like a bird regurgitating its food to feed its young. Via Holy Moly.

Source: theblemish.com

You didn’t expect Paris Hilton to keep her legs crossed the whole time at Cannes did you? Of course not. That would be like asking a baby not to cry or Megan Fox not to give me a boner.