Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton has been been sued by the distributor of National Lampoon’s Pledge This! for failing to adequately promote the film. Paris was paid $1 million and made executive producer, but according to the suit, part of her contract required her to advertise it.

Oh, she starred in it alright, playing sorority queen Victoria English. But, per the lawsuit filed today in U.S. District Court in Miami, Hilton—who was also listed as an executive producer—owes $75,000 in damages for failing to provide “reasonable promotion and publicity” for the movie.

It’s not clear what the distributors were expecting. A viral marketing campaign rivaling that of The Dark Knight’s? Paris’ idea of film promotion is to stand on the red carpet, shove a banana down her throat and proclaim, “That’s hot.” That’s what she calls her “full service treatment.” I’d be surprised if she even remembers she was in a movie. I’m convinced she begins every day with only a rudimentary knowledge of life and must relearn basic things like why you can’t eat steak with a spoon and that breathing lets you not die.

Source: theblemish.com

Last week, John McCain ran an ad which called Barack Obama a bigger celebrity than Paris and Britney and questioned his readiness to lead. Kathy Hilton, pissed because she donated to the McCain fund, criticized the ad calling it “frivolous, a waste of money, a waste of time.” Yesterday, Paris Hilton also criticized the ad in her own way; by making a video! Listen to the orangeish Paris Hilton try to sound smart. Hearing her talk about offshore oil drilling is like watching a chimp figuring out how to use tools, in that, you’re left silently stunned that this bit of insight is coming from that lazy-eyed primate.

Source: theblemish.com

Soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo has dumped hot piece of ass Nereida Gallardo. A friend says it’s because he grew “bored” with her like a cat with a ball of yarn. Nereida, of course, is in denial.

“This is all nonsense. I spoke to him today, like always. We are together. He told me he loves me and I him.”

Poor thing. You’re free now Nereida. Run along.

In other desperate gold digger news, Paris Hilton, who’s dating one of the Madden brothers, made a play for the now single Ronaldo at Villa Wednesday morning. As expected, she was neither subtle nor discreet

‘Paris was all over him. The moment he arrived, she went over to his private table. At one point, she pushed her chest together and made a point of trying to snuggle up against him. But Ronaldo clearly wasn’t interested in Paris. He turned his back on her.’

I’m impressed Paris kept some dignity and didn’t make one last ditch effort by attempting to blow Ronaldo right then and there. She probably would have misjudged the length of the table and split her head open. Anyway, Ronaldo would have none of it. He just dumped a girl fifty times hotter than Paris. Getting a bj from her after getting one from Nereida would be like going from having sex with Jessica Alba to sticking your penis in a vacuum cleaner.

Pictures of the ex below.

Source: theblemish.com

Page Six reports on Paris Hilton’s ever increasing jealousy of the attention her best friend Nicole Richie has been getting over her baby. To combat this, Paris has devised a diabolical scheme to place herself back in the public eye. Get pregnant too.

“A baby would put her back in the news.” Hilton, who’s only dated Madden for six months, is already doing what she’s never done before - swearing off drugs and booze in an attempt to try and spawn.

Paris’ whoreishness may be her own undoing. By now her uterus looks like the outside of an old metal trash can; covered with dings and dents from being poked by hundreds of penises and foreign objects. She’d need one of those suction machines they use on damaged cars to make her womb look normal again.

Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton, inspired by Dina Lohan’s and Denise Richard’s reality series, has pitched her own show which involves gossip targets like Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Tori Spelling — as well as Richards, Hilton and her former ”The Simple Life” co-star, Nicole Richie — in a two hour special telling people what it’s like to be them. Bravo and Lifetime are reportedly interested.

Paris Hilton with an idea is rare which is what makes this story fascinating. Could you hear the rusted gears in her head grind together as she began to think? Did cartoonish smoke rise out from her ears? Did she feel pain when it happened? As synapses fired off throughout her head, were her first words, “Ow, what is this new sensation. It’s like menstrual cramps in my brain.” Do tell. People would love to know.

By the way, this show is a great idea because people will love coming home from their 9 to 5 to watch a bunch of spoiled celebrities complain about the constant attention they receieve from tabloids and paparazzi. After this, people will probably have more compassion and respect for them. “I may stare at a computer screen all day praying for death, but at least I don’t have ‘celebrity’ problems. What with their disposable income, paid appearances at clubs, free iPods and clothes… gah, who wants to deal with THAT?,” they’ll ask themselves.

Source: theblemish.com

Hospital officials said Paris Hilton made an “extremely generous” donation towards the construction of a medical building at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, but didn’t specify the amount.

“The children I have met through my involvement with Childrens Hospital have truly touched my heart,” Hilton said in a statement. “I am proud to make a donation and lend my name to the fundraising effort to help children who are facing terribly serious illnesses.”

They put “extremely generous” in quotes. Am I supposed to conclude Pairs Hilton blew all the construction workers at the building site or merely gave them hand jobs? Tell me FOX News. Inquiring minds want to know.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

• Paris Hilton’s “dog friendly” reputation has gone down the shitter with numerous rumors of her neglecting pets, and apparently the employees at The Puppy Store on Melrose Avenue were aware of this. Last weekend Paris was headed to a photo shoot and decided, out of the blue, that she wanted a puppy because she thought the pictures would be “cuter”. The dumbass went into the pet store, probably strutted around the room a couple of times and quickly decided she wanted a Yorkshire Terrier. The store’s employee, not wanting to see an animal go to someone who would make such a decision on impulse, refused to sell the dog to her. Paris blew a gasket, screaming, “I love my puppies! I want my baby!” and left without a dog.

• Rumor has it Ed McMahon’s wife of 16 years, Pamela McMahon, is spending her husband’s money hand over fist. She loves to shop and apparently acts completely unaware of their financial problems. Just on one AmEx card alone they owe $750K. Although many of Ed’s friends and colleagues would like to help him out financially, they worry that it will only encourage Pamela to keep spending freely. Sadly, Donald Trump is using Ed’s money problems to gain publicity for himself, announcing loudly to the public that he wants to help the 85-year-old. However, he has only said this to the cameras . . not Ed. A source close to Ed hinted, “people who are talking publicly aren’t necessarily the ones who are helping.”

• Queen Latifah, 38, who has been a Jenny Craig spokesperson since January, is inspiring plus sized women to lead healthy lifestyles. She says she initially signed up, not to get skinny, but instead to get healthy. “My intention was to lose five to 10 percent of my body weight because it makes a difference with health related issues, and I achieved that goal in a couple of months. I’m excited about this weight loss.” Latifah is also going to the gym five to seven days a week, switching between the treadmill or elliptical machine. “My jeans are looser, I feel more energetic. People dig it. They come up to me and say ‘I’m glad you’re talking about the health side of it.’ People get that message, which is important too. They see that I’m doing this for the health reasons but also say, ‘She’s still representing for the big girls. She hasn’t abandoned us!’ This is me doing something for me, but if I am going to be a role model I hope people can catch on.”

• Gavin Rossdale recently said that his pregnant wife Gwen Steffani is under tremendous pressure by the media to lose the baby weight once she gives birth. Gwen is due with the couple’s second child this summer. Gavin says he feels terrible that his wife has to worry about it. “Yeah, she does (feel under pressure). I mean, she’s just so dedicated and she’s just amazing with that stuff (weight loss). It’s very hard because everyone’s so judged the whole time.”

Source: theblemish.com

Paris Hilton was heading to a photo shoot when she decided she’d buy a puppy because it would make the pictures cuter. So she went to the Puppy Store on Melrose in LA and demanded a Yorkie. Of course, the whole of LA knows her history with animals so they said “no.” That’s when Paris stomped around like a spoiled brat.

Hilton waltzed in and tried to buy a Yorkie but was rebuffed by an employee who said it was clearly “an impulse buy.” Hilton, who has a menagerie of neglected animals, went “ballistic,” we’re told. “She started screaming, ‘I love my puppies! I want my baby!’” - but to no avail. The store had no comment.

They should have given it to her, but instead of a real dog, they should have handed her a bunch of firecrackers in the shape of a dog with a little sweater over it. That way when she walked out the door the whole thing would blow up in her hands and she’ll have all this black soot over her face and look bewildered. I mean, that’s what would happen if she was in a cartoon. In real life, she would probably suffer third degree burns and doctors would need to graft skin from her ass to her face to make her look relatively normal. People would then call her ass-face and she couldn’t deny it. So… even better.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Did Benji Madden’s super-sperm manage to break through the Bermuda Triangle of STDs and impregnate Paris Hilton?

Some think so, others think Paris is just sticking her bloated bulimic gut out as a publicity stunt. Regardless, she does look like she could be pregs, but c’mon, we all know this dumb bitch, she’ll do anything for press.

US Weekly is reporting that Paris’ spokesperson is denying reports.

There’s still hope!

Source: theblemish.com

The big news today is Paris Hilton may be with child or at least trying hard to fake it. Paris was walking around with Benji Madden yesterday looking pregnant or fat. Whatever you want to call it.

So, has Paris Hilton’s dream finally come true? Can she finally one up that bitch Nicole Richie? Can Paris’ overstretched woman parts even keep a fetus from falling out? Maybe these photos of Paris possibly covering up a baby bump with a towel and falling in love with her own reflection will help answer those questions. Or maybe not.