Source: theblemish.com

Natalie Portman and Venezuelan indie folk rock short shorts wearing musician Devendra Banhart have ended their relationship.

A fan of Banhart’s music, Portman had asked him to donate a track to the charity compilation she curated on iTunes, Big Change: Songs for FINCA. She returned the favor by forgoing her usual fee to appear in the video.

“They got together right after the video shoot,” a source said at the time.

Reasons for the break-up weren’t given, but I think it was because he looked like a fucking weirdo all the time. Listen buddy, I’m the only one here who can pull off short shorts. I’ve been told my legs are amazing.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

As they say, it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.

Natalie Portman found out the hard way while in New York recently. While stooping down to check out some pups one gave her the fire hydrant treatment.

Unfortunately for her, someone was there to snap a pic.

They say Nat took it well despite the urine on her expensive coat.

Source: theblemish.com

Natalie Portman and boyfriend Devendra Banhart were walking her dog in Manhattan when the unthinkable happened. The Huffington Post says Natalie squatted down to take a look at something when someone’s dog, probably R. Kelly’s, nonchalantly peed on her.

This serves as a reminder why hot girls shouldn’t be squatting down in a dog run. Either me or a canine will pee on you. I will say this though. Natalie still looks pretty hot even with urine running down her coat. You’d think this dog marking his territory would deter me from humping Natalie’s leg, but I assure you, it does not.

Source: theblemish.com

As reported earlier, Natalie Portman will be in indie/folk singer Devendra Banhart’s new video. What wasn’t reported was that the two may be an item. The world may never know how guys like this end up with Natalie Portman while handsome, strapping young fellows like myself are destined only to have supermodels throw themselves at us. Never an actress. Sigh. One can only assume his manliness, accentuated by his white rimmed sunglasses and purse-like bag, was too great of an aphrodisiac.

When a 10-year-old eating an ice cream cone was asked about the awkward pairing, he ran away screaming, “Sasquatch! Sasquatch!” Ah, yes. Sometimes such wise words come from the unlikeliest of sources.

Source: theblemish.com

Scarlett Johansson has an album coming out
Realizing fans were unable to wait until May 20th to hear an album of Tom Waits covers and one original composition sung by Scarlett Johansson without dying of excitement, the studio has decided to quench the public’s thirst for the celebrity songstress by releasing the cover art. It features a peeping Tom spying on a sleeping Scarlett from inside a tree. Creepy.

Natalie Portman will be in a music video
Natalie Portman will star in Devendra Bernhart’s new music video for Carmensita off of Smokey. I have no idea who this Venezuelan fellow is or what his song sounds like, but Natalie Portman is hot so you should probably pay attention to this.

4 minutes of Madonna
The collaboration between Madonna and Justin Timberlake now has a snazzy new video. Do you think it A) Features Madonna snapping the heads off chickens or B) Jumping around on top of cars like the Incredible Hulk. If you picked A, you made the same mistake I did in thinking the video would be really cool. 4 minutes indeed.

Source: theblemish.com

Natalie Portman regrets working at such a young age. Starring in Léon at only 11, she had a grow up quickly and lost out on much of her childhood. Natalie says,

“I do kind of feel that I lost part of my childhood. I was one of those kids that always wanted to be older, which I now think is a shame. I try to make up for that now by being outdoors more, playing, being silly and not being afraid of that. I don’t feel that I missed out on a normal life, but when I was a kid I wasn’t out playing in the mud.”

Natalie made money, traveled the world, met lots of interesting people, grew up to be super pretty and super rich, but what she really longs for is the awkwardness of adolescence. Here’s a list of exciting childhood experiences I had that Natalie may have missed out on: …Um, there was that time I thought I found real silver while playing in the dirt. Turns out it was part of someone’s retainer. That’s basically it. Although, if Natalie really wants to reclaim her youth. I’ll help her out. There’s a cool game kids play when they’re young. I think it’s called doctor. I’ve never played it before, but if it’s anything like the real thing then it’ll just be her crying at the end of the exam and me telling her not to say anything to her parents.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Moby is featured in next month’s Spin magazine and in an interview, he says he dated Natalie Portman!

Who knew?

Moby says during his time with Natalie he was harassed by her hardcore fans who couldn’t believe she was with him. The geeks were jealous of the famous nerd who was all up on their woman. Heh.

“I guess in some people’s eyes, [nerds] might be mildly sexy - and, as a nerd, I’m certainly happy to enjoy some of the effects of that. But as far as the very brief affair that I had with Natalie, it’s made me a target of a lot of nerd wrath. You don’t date Luke Skywalker’s mom and not have them hate your guts.”

Source

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: theblemish.com

Pants. Tightening. Can’t hold. Much longer.

Source: evilbeetgossip.com

Natalie and Scarlett have been doing oodles of press for their new movie “The Other Boleyn Girl.” They were on the Today show for instance.

However, yesterday only Natalie showed up… and she did so in something she made in her third grade art class.

Where was Scarlett? Not sure. But they certainly could have used the press as the movie looks to be dead on impact. If you want to watch a dreadful spoiler laden trailer look no further: