Megan Fox made her way from Berlin to London for another premiere of Transformers. I think me and everyone else have already covered the fact that she’s pretty and young and virile and the complete opposite of Jennfier Aniston. If I ever had the opportunity to talk with her, my mind would go on auto-pilot and I’d start humping her leg. Which would be the least embarrassing thing I’d do. You probably couldn’t even understand me saying, “I love you Megan Fox,” through the buckets of drool coming out of my mouth.
Good news. My fantasies are starting to become reality. Those visits to the shaman are finally paying off.
Megan Fox told The Sun that she dumped her fiance Brian Austin Green. Again. But supposedly for real this time. In Berlin promoting Transfomers: Revenge of the Fallen, Fox said, “I’m currently what you would call single I guess.”
Asked who she wanted to eff next, she said: “Oh I don’t know. There is this Korean JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE named RAIN and I’m really on his situation now. I’m trying to fix this up. I’m working hard.”
I hope she wasn’t joking about being single. That’d be pretty mean of her. I don’t like it when she teases me like that. What you got to do that for, baby? Plus, I already sent her a “Congrats on your break-up. Want to have sex?” cake. It’s made of chocolate and Rohypnol.
Anyway, she looked gorgeous at the Berlin premiere of Transformers. It was almost enough to make you forget about the creepy toe-thumbs. If there’s one good thing about breaking up with Megan Fox, it’s that you won’t feel like you’re being jacked off by a three-toed sloth anymore.
Keira Knightley showed up to the premiere of Cheri at the Berlin Film Festival looking like Liam Gallagher from Oasis. Her pants suit and flat chest didn’t help either. If you took her home, you’d probably be disappointed to find out she didn’t have a penis. Also disappointing? No refunds.
AnnaLynne McCord showed with 3 inches of fabric on to the premiere of her new movie, Fired Up (initials “FU”, snicker). Not sure the premise of the film, but I hear it’ll be great. The best thing since Schindler’s List. “I haven’t been this excited for something since Baskin Robin’s free scoop Tuesday,” said Roger Ebert of the Chicago Sun-Times.
The stars were out this weekend for the premiere of the new animated children’s film Horton Hears a Who, based on the 1954 Dr. Seuss book of the same name. Abortion protesters crashed the premiere at Westwood Village Theater on Saturday, with the justification that the film and book’s motto “a person is a person, no matter how small” can also be used as a statement against abortion. Dr. Seuss was personally against the abortion activists appropriating his phrase for their cause, and he threatened to sue over it before he died in 1991. In 2001, his widow did sue an abortion group for using her husband’s writing without his permission.
Judging from these photos, the protestors were contained and kept away from the little guests at the film, and the premiere went on as scheduled.
Carrey stars as the voice of the elephant Horton, who discovers a planet in a small speck of dust and works to protect its tiny inhabitants. It also stars Steve Carell, Carol Burnett, and Will Arnett.
Here’s the trailer:
Horton Hears a Who is out in US theaters on March 14, and is refreshingly out in the rest of Europe around the same time. It is getting good reviews, and since it’s a kids’ film it’s sure to be a hit.
Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures, which also include Jenny McCarthy and her son, Evan, who will be 6 in May, Brooke Shields, her husband Chris Henchy and their daughters Rowan, who will be 4 in May, and Grier, 23 months. Also shown are Carol Burnett and what look like her surly grandchildren, Jamie Pressly and her fiance, DJ Eric Calvo, Joely Fisher and her daughter True, 25 months, Ray Liotta and his daughter Karsen, 9, and friend, Jesse McCartney and his brother Timothy McCartney, The American Idol Finalists, Steve Carell, Will Artnett, and Jim Carrey’s 20 year-old daughter, Jane, showing off her Canada tattoo.
Reese Witherspoon, Christina Ricci, James McAvoy and Amanda Bynes were among the stars at last night’s premiere of Penelope, a modern romantic fairy tale about a girl born with the nose of a pig. Christina Ricci stars as Penelope, with Witherspoon as her rough ‘n tumble sidekick friend. Witherspoon also produced the film. James McAvoy is the love interest who is able to look past the physical imperfections to the girl underneath. The film is getting mixed reviews, with some saying that it’s not cohesive. Many other reviewers call it charming and quirky.
Some commentors on Oh No They Didn’t note that the film has been out for some time, as it premiered at film festivals including Toronto in 2006 and Cannes in 2007. That doesn’t mean that it won’t be a commercial success, though, as it seems to be the type of cute film that movie-goers enjoy. I had high hopes for a box office success for Sweeney Todd over the holidays, but it only took in $52 million domestically. That’s nothing to scoff at, but it isn’t that high either, and the film may have suffered from its dark subject matter as well as the fact that it was a musical. Penelope seems to have broader appeal, and we’ll have to see how it does at the box office.
Penelope is out in US theaters on January 29.
It’s cute how Reese and Christina both have the same hairstyle with bangs and pulled back hair. Reese’s outfit is looking a little too casual for a premiere but maybe she didn’t want to upstage Christina Ricci. Rachel Taylor is also shown, and she’s wearing a very odd sack-like dress. Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.
You know we’re scratching for stories when we cover a premiere without a lot of big names, but Jason Statham could run around for two hours doing not much of anything and I would watch it, all wide-eyed and rapt. He adds a layer of swoon-inducing kick-ass testosterone to any film, and it looks like his new film, The Bank Job, doesn’t even need help in that department.
The Bank Job is based on the true story of a multi-million pound London bank heist in 1971, in which safety deposit boxes were stolen from a vault. The robbery was only covered by the press for a just a few days before the government issued a gag order and the story faded away. It is thought that the gang uncovered reams of information about a massive corruption scandal involving top government officials along with the royal family. (It has no relation to The Italian Job or the upcoming sequel The Brazilian Job (snicker) except for the fact that it also stars Statham and has “Job” in the title.)
In September 1971, thieves tunneled into the vault of a bank in London’s Baker Street and looted safe deposit boxes of cash and jewelry worth over three million pounds. None of it was recovered. Nobody was ever arrested. The robbery made headlines for a few days and then disappeared – the result of a ‘D’ Notice, gagging the press. This film reveals what was hidden for the first time. The story involves murder, corruption and a sex scandal with links to the Royal Family – a story in which the thieves were the most innocent people involved.
And here’s the trailer. It looks pretty awesome.
The thing that I found amusing about these premiere pictures is that Guy Ritchie showed up looking sheepish in a cap and suit – but he’s not the director and had no hand in the movie that I can tell. He hasn’t had a critically acclaimed or successful film since 2000’s Snatch.
Anthony Hopkins was looking elderly in a plaid jacket and scarf and full white beard. He also has nothing to do with this movie.
The Bank Job is out in the UK on February 25, and comes out in US theaters on March 7. Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures. There are also some stills from the film, thanks to AllMoviePhoto.
