Source: theblemish.com

Mischa Barton tells PEOPLE it’s “really nice, it’s great actually” to be single. She offers advice to other single girls, “Just embrace it. It’s important to breathe for a minute.”

I followed up and asked Mischa how it feels to be unemployed. Mischa Barton just stared at me with her left eye twitching. I then informed Mischa that “staring” isn’t an acceptable answer. So she left. How rude.

Source: theblemish.com

These pictures of Mischa Barton at a charity ball are a few days old, but they’re worth a glance because Mischa looks really stoned. At least I hope she is because she’s dressed like a weirdo. It looks like she was in the middle of taking her fifth bong hit and remembered she had to be somewhere so she rummaged through her closet and put on the first thing that matched. Then she put a bandanna on because it looked rad. Then she got all paranoid and put raccoon makeup on so no one would notice her pupils. Then ta-da, hail Mischa Barton, princess of fashion.

Source: theblemish.com

For the second time this week, Mischa Barton’s boob popped out of her dress. This time at another fashion show in London. One has to wonder if these incidents are just a simple wardrobe malfunction or part of a calculated plan by Mischa to become relevant again. If it is the latter, I must warn Mischa that this won’t work. One time I “accidentally” exposed myself in public and all I received was a week of laughter and humiliation.

Source: theblemish.com

Mishca Barton attended Fashion for Relief yesterday, ran around drunk and would only use the private disabled bathroom. While that’s exciting in and of itself, the awesome part was Mischa’s boob slipped out while she was getting out of the taxi and, of course, there are pictures. So, behold. The woman who can’t dress herself. Marvel at her dimwittedness and uncovered nipple. But most importantly, shame her. SHAME HER! Uncensored version when you do that clicky thing with your mouse.

Source: theblemish.com

Mischa Barton has been “dropped by Creative Artists Agency because she hasn’t had any big roles since ‘The O.C.’ ” A spokeswoman says that she wasn’t dropped, she left on her own accord and now she’s with New York’s Paradigm Agency.

Mischa hasn’t exactly had stellar roles since she quit The O.C. That’s only because people haven’t discovered her full range of abilities yet. In addition to being a thespian, Mischa also smokes pot, gets busted for smoking pot and smokes more pot. She’s a modern day Renaissance woman.

Mischa Switch [NYPost]

Source: theblemish.com

Unbeknown to me, there’s a magazine devoted to everyone’s favorite polyamide yarn, Nylon. Weird. Even weirder? The latest issue of Nylon is devoted to its arch nemesis, denim, otherwise known as America’s most beloved rugged, durable twill fabric. The tension is palpable in this issue making it a must read. Oh and there’s a bunch of pictures of a half-naked Mischa Barton in it too if that’s more your thing.

Source: theblemish.com

Mischa Barton’s publicist claims that those photographs showing her “cellulite ridden” ass were doctored and that the photographer who took them, Jamie Fawcett, is out to get her. Fawcett denies this saying he would never “publicly embarrass her with nudity or health issues or body image issues.” Honest. Barton’s rep said:

“Look at the shots that were taken shortly before on a beach in L.A. Did she develop all that cellulite in a couple of weeks? There’s a lot you can do with Photoshopping.”

There’s only one way to settle this. An Angelina Jolie versus Scarlett Johansson nude Jello wrestling match. To those of you wondering how this could possibly solve anything, you guys are so totally gay.

Source: theblemish.com

Mishca Barton is mad Jamie Fawcett, a paparazzo, took pictures of her cellulite ridden ass sunbathing topless in Australia. Mischa says:

“He’s a ridiculous human being. I’ve never abhorred anyone more. I was so angry, I went up to him and said how disappointed I was with his behaviour. He apologised but he was very insincere.”

Fawcett responded that he already warned her that she was in a public place and advised her that there were private places to do what she was doing.

“We spoke to each other on the island, and that’s when I showed her my camera and I hadn’t taken any shots of her topless.

“I did warn her it was a public place, and if she wanted privacy she shouldn’t be there.

“I’m not a perv, and I didn’t intentionally mean to embarrass her. I don’t just set out and start my day thinking I want to get any celebrity topless.”

What? This is shocking. I thought every paparazzo’s day started with them thinking, “I wonder who’s going to be naked today. Please don’t be Britney, please don’t be Britney.” Coincidentally, that’s how I start my day too. That and a morning threesome with Playboy playmates. Sigh, my mornings are becoming so routine. Why can’t they be Victoria’s Secret models instead of playmates? Why does god hate me?

Source: theblemish.com

No way these topless sunbathing shots of Mischa Barton, 22, aren’t edited. Her ass and thighs look like the outside of a golf ball. They’re so dimpled NASA won’t even send an unmanned probe there. “Too cratery,” they said.

For comparison, her ass last year. As you can see, nowhere near this disturbing. So how did this happen? The Daily Mail says Mischa’s constant smoking may explain her premature cellulite. I think the answer is even simpler. It’s cupcakes. Lots and lots of cupcakes. Baked and then fried. With Gummi Bears inside.

Source: evilbeetgossip.com

Damn, you know what would really cheer me up?

Another celebrity DUI.

It’s been awhile since we’ve had a good one, don’t you think?

And it looks like Mischa Barton’s going to weasel her way out of jail time by cutting a deal, as inside sources say she’ll plead no contest to her December 27 DUI charge. She’ll have three years probation and have to take those worthless alcohol education classes, none of which will do anything to cheer me up. I want her in jail, dammit!!! If we can’t put her in jail for drunk driving, can we at least imprison her on charges of attempting to resurrect fashion trends of the ’80s? That’s equally dangerous!