Archive for the ‘Miranda Kerr’ Category

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Miranda Kerr is naked

Source: theblemish.com

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Damn these laws. Why can’t we at least once have a fully nude supermodel chained to a tree and not be called perverts or charged with kidnapping?

This is Australian model Miranda Kerr tying herself to a tree on the cover of Rolling Stone to raise awareness of the environment, “specifically koalas.” “I feel strongly about the need to protect our natural environment because it supports our life – it really is that simple,” Kerr says.

Girls always pick the cutsey stuff. You never see a hot chick chain themselves to a dark, dank cave to save the bats. If you brought an endangered one over to them for a shoot, they’d probably take off their heels and start stabbing it.

Published on June 3rd, 2009 in Miranda Kerr, Rolling Stone
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Miranda Kerr is doing the yacht thing too

Source: theblemish.com

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Yachts! They’re not just for dumping bodies into the ocean anymore. They’re all the rage now in Cannes. Because that’s all there is to do. Watch movies and sunbathe on big boats. The latest adopters of the fad are Orlando Bloom and Victoria’s Secret model Miranda Kerr. Here they are confirming suspicions that my life totally sucks.

Miranda Kerr is pointy

Source: theblemish.com

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Are those nipples or pushpins?

The Angels were at the beach

Source: theblemish.com

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I don’t know how I missed this, but prior to the fashion show, all the Victoria’s Secret angels hit the beach in their bikinis to taunt us mere mortals with their ungodly bodies. If you felt an earthquake last week, don’t worry, those weren’t tectonic plates, that was just the earth orgasming. As always, more after the jump.

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The Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show 2008

Source: theblemish.com

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Every year, Victoria’s Secret has their lingerie fashion show and every year I check my mailbox for an invite and every year I find a reminder from the court telling me to stay 500 yards away from all Victoria’s Secret models. Next year it’s going to be different. Watch out Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Ana Beatriz Barros, Heidi Klum, Selita Ebanks, Doutzen Kroes, Miranda Kerr, Izabel Goulart and all the rest. This sexy beast is coming for you. So, please, don’t warn the cops and don’t even try to hide your underwear. I’ll find it eventually. I’ve been practicing with my Where’s Waldo books. A few more after the jump or click any photo for the full gallery.

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adriana lima vs 2008 02adriana lima vs 2008 03adriana lima vs 2008 04adriana lima vs 2008 05adriana lima vs 2008 06alessandra ambrosio vs 2008 01alessandra ambrosio vs 2008 02alessandra ambrosio vs 2008 03alessandra ambrosio vs 2008 05alessandra ambrosio vs 2008 06ana beatriz barros vs 2008 02ana beatriz barros vs 2008 03ana beatriz barros vs 2008 04angela lindvall vs 2008 01angela lindvall vs 2008 02angela lindvall vs 2008 03angela lindvall vs 2008 05angela lindvall vs 2008 06carmen kass vs 2008 01carmen kass vs 2008 03carmen kass vs 2008 04carmen kass vs 2008 05doutzen kroes vs 2008 02doutzen kroes vs 2008 03doutzen kroes vs 2008 04doutzen kroes vs 2008 05doutzen kroes vs 2008 06group vs 2008 01group vs 2008 02group vs 2008 03group vs 2008 04group vs 2008 05heidi klum vs 2008 01heidi klum vs 2008 02heidi klum vs 2008 04heidi klum vs 2008 05heidi klum vs 2008 06izabel goulart vs 2008 01izabel goulart vs 2008 02izabel goulart vs 2008 04karolina kurkova vs 2008 01karolina kurkova vs 2008 02karolina kurkova vs 2008 03karolina kurkova vs 2008 06marisa miller vs 2008 01marisa miller vs 2008 02marisa miller vs 2008 03marisa miller vs 2008 05marisa miller vs 2008 06miranda kerr vs 2008 01miranda kerr vs 2008 02miranda kerr vs 2008 03miranda kerr vs 2008 05miranda kerr vs 2008 06noemie lenoir vs 2008 66noemie lenoir vs 2008 67noemie lenoir vs 2008 68noemie lenoir vs 2008 69noemie lenoir vs 2008 70noemie lenoir vs 2008 71selita ebanks vs 2008 01selita ebanks vs 2008 02selita ebanks vs 2008 03selita ebanks vs 2008 04selita ebanks vs 2008 05

This looks fun

Source: theblemish.com

Miranda Kerr in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NY

Marisa Miller, Miranda Kerr and Heidi Klum all showed up for a Victoria’s Secret fitting in NY a few days ago. This should be a reminder for all of you to get your lotion and Kleenex and/or vibrators ready because the annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is about a month away. I don’t want to ruin anything for you guys, but I hear they’ll be in their underwear.

Heidi Klum in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NYHeidi Klum in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NYHeidi Klum in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NYHeidi Klum in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NYHeidi Klum in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NYMarisa Miller in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NYMarisa Miller in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NYMarisa Miller in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NYMiranda Kerr in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NYMiranda Kerr in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NYMiranda Kerr in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NYMiranda Kerr in underwear participates in a Victoria\'s Secret fitting in NY

Published on November 5th, 2008 in Heidi Klum, Marisa Miller, Miranda Kerr, Victorias Secret
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Orlando Bloom’s life is hard

Source: theblemish.com

Miranda Orlando

Even though these pictures of Miranda Kerr have very little to no hint of her boyfriend Orlando Bloom in them, I can assure you she was hanging out topless with him. Despite their seemingly carefree lifestyle, don’t think celebrities have it easy. They’re full of inner turmoil. “Should I take the Ferrari to meet my half-naked supermodel girlfriend or should I take the Porsche?,” is a question they must struggle with on a daily basis. Your problems don’t seem so big now, do they

Also, if you were wondering what Orlando’s ass looks like, here you go.

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Miranda Kerr has sideboob

Source: theblemish.com

Miranda Kerr

Miranda Kerr along with other celebrities attended the Raisa Gorbachev Foundation Gala to help raise money for children who are gravely ill with cancer. What better way to do this than by having Miranda Kerr show some boob? When asked, 1 in 10 donators said they gave money to this charity in hopes they’d see Miranda Kerr naked while 1 in 1 donators tried to put dollar bills in Miranda Kerr’s dress before being escorted out by security. Jeez, at least let me finish my drink.

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Miranda Kerr launches a bra

Source: theblemish.com

Miranda Kerr

Miranda Kerr attended the launch of Victoria’s Secret new Angel bra in New York. The Angel bra is VS’s new wireless bra which I guess means something if you’re a woman. For me it’s just another obstacle I have to maneuver around in order to touch girls’ boobies.

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Orlando Bloom smells

Source: www.celebitchy.com

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I once went to a concert where an audience member told the singer “I love you!” to which he replied “How can you love me if you haven’t even smelled me?” That’s not a bad point, since bad body odor is often an automatic turn off for people. It seems that those of you out there with a celebrity crush on Orlando Bloom might need to consider this.

“Miranda (Kerr) thinks Orlando is too smelly. Recently, she asked him if he could wash his clothes and perhaps shower more often,” an insider told Star magazine.

Kerr, a Victoria’s Secret model, is fed up because 31-year-old Bloom often wears the same clothes for days.

“He’ll wear the same jeans for a week before he throws them in the washer. Same goes for his sweaters, T-shirts and socks,” the source added.

To make matters worse Bloom sleeps with his dog.

Daily Telegraph

Why he isn’t grooming himself? Is he just lazy, or is it a desperate measure to conserve water? When I look at Orlando Bloom, I think he probably smells of freshly chopped wood, not bad B.O.

The same source says that Orlando sleeps with his dog. You’re dating a Victoria’s Secret model, and you’re making her share the bed with a dog. Clearly, Orlando needs to learn some basic dating etiquette as well as personal grooming habits.

Actually, this could all be an elaborate attempt to get his girlfriend to do laundry with him. My husband holds out on doing the laundry until there is nothing left in his closet, even wearing old school uniforms, to try and get me to do his washing.

On a side note, the couple have been dubbed with a name, in the tradition of Brangelina that I really like: KerrBloom.

Note by Celebitchy: I think someone made up this story entirely, but it’s still funny. Even if he smelled like McConaughey I wouldn’t kick him out of bed.

Miranda Kerr is shown on 1/26/08 at the Australia Black Tie Gala. Orlando Bloom is shown at the BAFTA Awards on 2/10/08, thanks to PRPhotos.

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