Source: theblemish.com

Megan Fox made her way from Berlin to London for another premiere of Transformers. I think me and everyone else have already covered the fact that she’s pretty and young and virile and the complete opposite of Jennfier Aniston. If I ever had the opportunity to talk with her, my mind would go on auto-pilot and I’d start humping her leg. Which would be the least embarrassing thing I’d do. You probably couldn’t even understand me saying, “I love you Megan Fox,” through the buckets of drool coming out of my mouth.

Source: theblemish.com

Leaked photos of a dripping wet, topless Megan Fox with only pasties covering her nipples surfaced today. Oh wait, did I say today? I meant May of 2008 which was when those pictures were posted.

Anyway, the NYDN is reporting it as the “latest celebrity to fall victim to having topless photos leaked to the media.” It’s a little disappointing that they’re old, but on the bright side, Megan isn’t suing anyone.

“I had booby stickers on,” Fox said. “If I’d been actually topless, I would have sued someone… I know who, and I never did anything about it. It’s her karma to deal with, not mine.”

“Her” karma? So it was a woman? Please tell me this woman is sexy and you two “did it” and she has pictures of that too. She must, right? I take it that your silence means yes? Hello? Megan?

Source: theblemish.com

Good news. My fantasies are starting to become reality. Those visits to the shaman are finally paying off.

Megan Fox told The Sun that she dumped her fiance Brian Austin Green. Again. But supposedly for real this time. In Berlin promoting Transfomers: Revenge of the Fallen, Fox said, “I’m currently what you would call single I guess.”

Asked who she wanted to eff next, she said: “Oh I don’t know. There is this Korean JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE named RAIN and I’m really on his situation now. I’m trying to fix this up. I’m working hard.”

I hope she wasn’t joking about being single. That’d be pretty mean of her. I don’t like it when she teases me like that. What you got to do that for, baby? Plus, I already sent her a “Congrats on your break-up. Want to have sex?” cake. It’s made of chocolate and Rohypnol.

Anyway, she looked gorgeous at the Berlin premiere of Transformers. It was almost enough to make you forget about the creepy toe-thumbs. If there’s one good thing about breaking up with Megan Fox, it’s that you won’t feel like you’re being jacked off by a three-toed sloth anymore.

Source: theblemish.com

I avoided this as long as I could, but the more I tried, the more the image kept coming back into my head and freaking me out. So, if I’m going to be thinking about this all day, I’m taking everyone down with me.

Megan Fox has clubbed thumbs.

Damn you God and your cruel jokes. Now I’m going to be looking for this in every picture. Thanks, thanks a lot.

The Daily Mail has more if you still have doubts.

Source: theblemish.com

Megan Fox is in Tokyo for the premiere of Transformers and to answer your question, yes, I would make Megan Fox show up at every premiere regardless of whether she’s in the film or not. I’d also make her lick her lips after every autograph she signs. That’s just how I roll.

Source: theblemish.com

Megan Fox is refusing to name names, but she claims that ever since she got famous, she’s sat down with legends in Hollywood to discuss potential roles only to be propositioned with the casting couch. She tells Britain’s GQ:

“Any casting couch s**t I’ve experienced has been since I’ve become famous. It’s really so heartbreaking. Some of these people! Like Hollywood legends.

“You think you’re going to meet them and you’re so excited, like, ‘I can’t believe this person wants to have a conversation with me,’ and you get there and you realise that’s not what they want, at all. It’s happened a lot this year actually.”

She says, “There are some guys, talking about actors who have been in the business for a while, who are very egocentric and have been able to sleep with a lot of girls for whatever reason, and because they don’t know me they think I’m going to be this little cupcake, this Marilyn Monroe type who’s going to bat my eyes and be like a receptacle for them.

“I just shut them down immediately, right in front of people. It’s been so long since someone has told them no, they don’t really know how to deal with it. Because of this non-reality they live in, they’re f**ked up, psychologically.”

You know, I could see George Lucas doing this. Like, Megan Fox would go to his ranch or whatever all excited and the first thing she sees when she steps into his office is him with his pants down laying on his side on his Chewbacca fur-lined couch with a rose between his teeth. That image will haunt Megan for the rest of her life.

Source: theblemish.com

Every week there’s a new Megan Fox in GQ or Megan Fox in Esquire article coming out. When will this madness end? My right hand is starting to cramp up.

Source: theblemish.com

Megan Fox showed up in downtown LA to do a photo shoot for some magazine. You may not know this, but it actually takes effort to make Megan Fox look hot. Minimal effort, but effort nonetheless. So next time you look at your wife or girlfriend, it wouldn’t be fair to compare her to Megan Fox. Put lipstick and mascara on her first. Then compare her Megan Fox.

More in the gallery.

Source: theblemish.com

If you’re on Megan Fox quote overload, then too bad because you’re getting another one. This one being just as sexy as the others.

“I have no question in my mind about being bisexual,” she goes on in Esquire. “But I’m also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I’d never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.”

If Megan started talking about enjoying threesomes, but only with another girl and one guy, that guy being me, I’d have jumped out of my window in pure ecstasy. Granted, that wouldn’t make much sense because then I’d be dead and I wouldn’t get to have a threesome with Megan Fox and another hot ass girl, but in my defense, all that blood rushed out of my brain and into my penis making it really hard to do any analytical reasoning. The only thing I’d be thinking right then would be Megan Fox + Naked + Girl + Girl + Me = Happy Happy!

Source: theblemish.com

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With this post, today has turned into “Megan Fox is the perfect woman” day. It’s also given me an excuse to post that Megan Fox Esquire video again.

Speaking to Esquire, Fox explained to them what she thinks High School Musical is really about.

“Let me tell you what it’s really about. ‘High School Musical’ is about this group of boys who are all being molested by the basketball coach, who is Zac Efron’s dad. It’s about them struggling to cope with this molestation. And they have these little girlfriends, who are their beards. Oh, and somehow there’s music involved,” the ‘Transformers’ beauty says.

Fox adds, “You have to get stoned and watch it.”

Let’s get out the list of traits I came up with for someone to be the perfect woman and see if Megan meets these requirements:

1. Thinks High School Musical is gay: Check
2. Likes to get stoned: Check

I think we have a winner.

[PopEater]