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Lindsay has a restraining order

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan

Fearing her erratic father might do something to jeopardize her safety, Lindsay Lohan decided to file a restraining order against him. Page Six reports:

Lindsay’s sister, Ali, “already has an order of protection against him, as does [mom] Dina. No one is speaking with him until he gets help.” Lindsay’s rep declined to comment.

Expect a statement by e-mail from Michael falsely accusing Lindsay’s friends of turning her against him in 3, 2, 1. Michael’s like that kid in school who doesn’t realize everyone hates him. Not even when you put dog poop in their backpack or push them in the mud at recess. All they say is, “Jolly good show, ‘ol chap,” and pat you on the back. Uh, ok. What’s it going to take to make you understand? Do I have to kill your dog or something?

Published on September 26th, 2008 in Lindsay Lohan, Michael Lohan
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The epic battle continues

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan

Sometimes I get the feeling Michael Lohan doesn’t approve of Lindsay’s girlfriend Samantha Ronson. Case in point. Michael Lohan’s scathing e-mail to X17online where he calls Samantha “dark, hideous and a disgusting representation of humanity.”

“I don’t believe that the recent blogs posted by ‘Lindsay’ were written by her” and touted, “There is a lot more to Samantha than meets the eye. Not that what we see is so pleasing anyway . . . what’s with this ‘person?’ Look at the way she ‘dresses.’

“Once more, she uses her middle finger more than she uses words. Have you ever seen her apartment? For God’s sake, when she runs out of toilet paper she tells people to use the cardboard roll. (I was told this firsthand).”

Hey, when you’re out of TP you gotta do what you gotta do and if that means using a towel and rinsing it off in the tub, then so be it. Just don’t mention it at dinner. People are kind of uptight about it. Anyway, Lindsay responded to Michael’s letter.

“My father obviously needs to be on medication to control his moods. He is out of line and his words show how much anger he has, and it’s dangerous and scary as it reminds me of how he treated my mother and I my whole childhood. He needs to be stopped. This is yet another reason why we aren’t speaking.

“I am in a great place in life,” Lindsay continued. “I have overcome a lot and have been able to learn how to enjoy and appreciate my life in every way possible. I’m proud of myself for being able to make a change in the past year and a half.

“My past is behind me, and that’s final. There’s nothing more to be said. All the false accusations that people try to make are simply because there’s no story when things are calm and good.

“But they might as well let it go because their lies don’t affect me anymore. Samantha is not evil, I care for her very much and she’s a wonderful girl.

“She loves me, as I do her.”

Argh, so many words to read. A much better, more concise response would have been “Fuck you, dad. I’m going gay.”

Lindsay Lohan kind of came out

Source: theblemish.com

Yesterday on Loveline, Samantha Ronson called in to talk about Travis Barker and DJ AM’s plane crash. Near the end of the conversation, Sam handed the phone to Lindsay and Stryker asked, “Now you guys, you and Samantha have been going out for how long now? Like two years? One year? Five months? Two months?” Lindsay laughs and says, “A very long time.” Whatever. I still don’t consider Lindsay a lesbian. Samantha Ronson is the furthest thing you could get from a girl. You could put a wig on a mop and it’d be more feminine than her.

Update: Clip via Dlisted below

Lindsay Lohan’s Punch Out

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan

Lindsay Lohan tripped over a metal barricade outside The Bowery Hotel in NYC on Sunday night. Her first reaction was to punch a paparazzi in the face because she thought they had tripped her. On the phone at the time, Lindsay told the person on the other end, “Oh my God, I just hit a paparazzi.” Police arrived, but no charges were filed.

I’m not condoning violence against women, but if police weren’t going to charge her or arrest her, the paparazzi should have punched her back. Really hard. Although with all the cameras, maybe a better idea would be to grab Lindsay’s hands and make her hit herself with them while saying, “Why are you hitting yourself? Huh, Lindsay? Why are you hitting yourself?” The only thing the police would do after reviewing the tape is look at Lindsay perplexed and ask, “Well, why were you hitting herself?”

Lindsay Lohan might get a roommate

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan has been begging her mom to let her 14-year-old sister, Ali Lohan, live with her and Samantha. Lindsay says she’s at a point where she believes she can finally be a positive influence on her. According to The National Enquirer:

Lindsay – who’s been privately critical of Dina for pushing Ali into their widely panned reality series – told pals she believes she can show Ali what “Hollywood is really all about!”

Hollywood isn’t just about the coke fueled orgies or the free gift bags worth thousands. There’s a lot more to it than that like the ecstasy fueled orgies and the comped meals at fancy restaurants. Ali has so much to learn. The first lesson of her Hollywood education being the proper way to hold Lindsay’s hair back after a night of clubbing.

Sam and Lindsay to marry?

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan

Samantha Ronson announced to party-goers at the Chateau Marmont club in LA that “by the end of this year, my love will be Mrs. Ronson” and “tonight shows the power of a woman – to underestimate that is to underestimate the world.” The news suggests that Sam and LIndsay Lohan are planning to marry at the end of the year.

Lending more credence to the sapphic relationship is the interview Lindsay gave to Marie Claire. “Samantha had some stars so I had some done as well. I am very happy. She is a fantastic person who has a great influence on everyone around her.”

Whatever. Lindsay will be over Samantha by this time next year. Lindsay never went to college to experiment with girls so she needs to get this out of her system. She’s kind of taking this too far though. Her vagina is probably screaming at her for penis. Every night it yells, “For the love of god, feed me!,” and every time Lindsay, startled, looks around to see who said that.

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Lindsay Lohan did stuff over the weekend

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan

If you weren’t aware, Lindsay Lohan has an amazing rack. Here she is showing it off at Charlotte Ronson’s Spring 2009 Fashion Show; a day before she showed them off at the MTV VMAs. Just don’t ask me who that little boy sitting next to her is because I have no clue. My guess is he’s from the Make A Wish Foundation and his dying wish was to sit next to a girl with big tits. He and I are a lot alike.

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Lindsay Lohan turned down Playboy

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan turned down a $700,000 offer to do an eight page Playboy spread for their 55th anniversary issue in January. Lindsay’s rep told Playboy’s Hal Lifson, “If there’s nudity, then the answer’s no . . . She’s not going down the [New York] magazine road again,” referring to the nude Marilyn Monroe shoot Lindsay did for New York Magazine.

Suuuure Lindsay doesn’t want to do it. She’s just trying to jack up the price. It won’t work Lindsay. People have already seen your freckled ass naked. Seeing it again is like riding a roller coaster for the second time. Your stomach still drops on each rise and fall, but the flutter in your heart is gone.

Lindsay Lohan is a comedian

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan stars in the upcoming Labor Pains which revolves around a woman faking her pregnancy to avoid being fired from her job. It’s being touted as her comeback role. And I guess it is if by “comeback” you mean “returning to movies.” Check out the trailer. The acting is amazing, the script is 100% original and the voiceover guy doesn’t sound cheesy at all. So, if you’re into quietly sobbing in theatres as you contemplate choking the laughing couple in front of you, you should go watch it.

Tell daddy to stop

Source: theblemish.com

Samantha & Lindsay

Yesterday, Michael Lohan, suspicious about Lindsay’s drinking habits, issued a statement to the press to show his concern and basically called Samantha Ronson a bad influence. Michael also accused Sam of using Lindsay for her fame and says that she even has a book coming out.

Lindsay issued her own statement yesterday calling Michael an attention whore and asking him to “stop hurting and talking to the media about the people I love.”

Sam has also gotten in on the action, but since she’s not famous enough, she went to her MySpace instead of the press.

SHUT THE F*** UP
Current mood: bullied

i really don’t want to say anything because i feel like he wins- he, being the man who is so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible- i know i am being used, i am just a pawn- easy to sacrifice in order to feed his addiction. I was angry when i first read his attack on me, but- for me- i believe that actions speak louder than words… so now i just pity him- i am not standing in his way- i am not the reason that he has no contact with his daughter- he is- his need to throw a tantrum for the whole world to hear is- i am not going to go into a play by play defense- i feel no need to publicly defend my role in lindsay’s life- i’m just sorry that she likes me more than him.

p.s. i’m not the one that is so lost that i need to use my relationship with lindsay to earn a living…. i am, always will and always have been here for her for her- not for anything else….so I think it’s safe to say that there is not now and never will be a tell all….. written by me….. when does your book come out mr. lohan?

Alright, so no book? What a shame. I was really interested in reading stuff like, Day 1: I met Lindsay. We got drunk. High. Day 2: Lindsay again. Drunk. High. Day 3: Finally managed to get Lindsay drunk/high enough to have sex with me. Plan is coming to fruition. Day 4: Lindsay is now a lesbian. Too easy. Day 5: Drunk. High. And so on and so on.



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