Source: theblemish.com

LIndsay Lohan was supposed to guest star on six episodes of Ugly Betty but that number has been cut to four after cast and crew became reportedly annoyed with Lindsay’s antics. Lindsay would arrive with an “entourage” of people and smoke 24/7. She left her dressing room in such disarray that it had to be repainted. Not to mention Lindsay would “obsessively cut out pictures of herself out of the tabloids like she was creating a scrapbook and refused to go on set until America [Ferrera] was there” as some sort of power play. The fun didn’t stop there, however. Lindsay’s vagina also made an expected yet unexpected appearance.

One episode, titled “Granny Pants,” was about how Lohan, playing Betty’s high school nemesis, would “de-pants” Ferrera. But Ferrera exacts her revenge and pulls down Lohan’s pants instead. “Lindsay wasn’t wearing any underwear,” the source said.

But a Lohan pal fumed, “Bull [bleep]! Lindsay wears underwear all the time now. She was wearing a G-string. And it was America’s fault. They were rehearsing the scene and America wasn’t supposed to pull Lindsay’s pants down - but she did. Lindsay was so embarrassed, she started crying.”

it was also used by the cast of the Fox sci-fi thriller “Fringe.” “So maybe they messed it up. And an entourage? Yeah, she had her sober companion with her, as well as her manager, assistant and [girlfriend] Samantha Ronson. Her publicist was there a couple of times. But so what?”

The pal blames Ferrera for any issues, saying, “America was mean to Lindsay. Producers give her too much power. Lindsay didn’t do the last two episodes because America didn’t like her and got her kicked off.”

This sounds a little suspect. Lindsay’s vadge is like the addict brother that shows up back home every once in a while asking for money. It’s always a shock to see him, but you’re used to the surprise. When they pulled Lindsay’s pants down she probably just shrugged and said, “First of all. Yes, my doctor told me it’s normal. Second, I’m going to my trailer to smoke. Call me when your eyes stop burning.” You know, burning on account of the herpes fumes and all.

LOHAN’S ‘BETTY’ GIG CHOPPED [Page Six]

Source: theblemish.com

The three men in the SUV whom Lindsay Lohan took on a chase through the streets of Santa Monica with are suing the actress for an unspecified amount. They claim Lindsay said she was a celebrity and could do whatever she wanted, was “angry and aggressive” and they felt “surprise, shock, fear and panic at LIndsay’s surprising and sudden act.” Basically they admit they were pussies who were left traumatized.

Although nobody was physically injured, their suit describes a wild, traumatic ride with Lohan allegedly angry and intoxicated as she went after the other car following a party.

“Dante and Jakon continued to implore Lohan to slow down, stating specifically that she was endangering all of their lives and that they could be killed,” the lawsuit says. “Lohan refused to slow or stop, but instead responded with abusive cursing and vulgar language, including a statement that she did not care about the risk of death.”

Clearly, a cracked out Lohan was stronger than all three of them combined. They were unwilling passengers in a hellish joyride. One could even argue they were kidnapped. Perhaps $500,000 each would put this issue to bed? Yes, that sounds like a reasonable amount to heal the mental scarring. While they’re at it, they should ask Lindsay for a free hand job. It’ll go over just as well.

Meanwhile, Lindsay’s attorney laughed at them and responded, “These guys had the night of their lives, playing with the radio and leaving the vehicle at one point and getting back in.”

Okay, so maybe $1,000 each then? Hello?

Source: theblemish.com

Sometimes lesbian Lindsay Lohan has been relentlessly texting Gossip Girl star Chace Crawford. Lindsay has been calling him up to four times a day and sending “provocative” texts ever since the two exchanged numbers at the Diesel XXX Rock party in New York. Friends are advising Chace to stay as far away from Lindsay as possible because Sam will have to crawl out of whichever sewer she lives in to put the hurt on him. And believe me Smigel, I mean, Sam does not like to be disturbed.

“Lindsay took a real shine to Chace and was pretty much throwing herself at him all night.

“She was standing in such a way that some part of her body was always touching him – at one point hip to hip.

“She was also giving him the filthiest looks, whispering in his ear, and turning everything he said into an innuendo.

Isn’t it obvious? Just like Superman is powered by the Sun, Lindsay is powered by dick. She needs to be refueled every once in a while or else her whore powers will wither away. Without them, she may as well be dead.

Source: theblemish.com

Over the past couple of days, there have been two conflicting reports regarding the status Lindsay and Samantha Ronson’s relationship. Which one is right? You guys must be on pins and needles!

The Daily Mail claimed yesterday that Lindsay and Sam got into an argument and are now on the verge of a breakup. Sam is reportedly afraid Lindsay might have slipped back into the party girl habit and wants her to step away from the limelight. She also didn’t appreciate how obsessive Lindsay’s been over her and at times has felt she is being smothered.

Meanwhile, MTV News UK, says Samantha proposed to Lindsay during their trip in Mexico.

The couple were said to be having dinner by the beach when a waiter came over to the table and revealed a diamond ring which had been hidden beneath a silver tray.

A source who witnessed the proposal at the £1,500 a night hotel the girls were staying at has said “It was a gorgeous ring with a big diamond”

I don’t know which of these reports if any are true, but I refuse to believe Samantha proposed to Lindsay in such a cliched way. Don’t lesbians have any originality? Sam should have gotten her drunk and hid the diamond in her lobster. The next day when Lindsay’s writhing in agony as the ring tears through her intestine, Sam should go, “You know that pain you feel? It’s love. In the form of a diamond ring. Will you marry me?” Just don’t expect Lindsay to reply, “Yes, yes, a million times, yes!,” right away.

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan has been assigned police protection after expressing concern over “Biblical” threats she received at 3 different addresses. No information on what the exact wording of these “Biblical” threats were. They can range anywhere from promising to crucify her for her harlett ways to the tried and true threat of “going Biblical on your ass.” If the latter, police should consider Samuel L. Jackson as their primary suspect.

In other Lohan news, Lindsay filed a motion barring paparazzi from filming her when she appears in court on behalf of Samantha Ronson. She has also asked that transcripts and testimonies be kept private fearing they’ll be “illegally exploited by the media.” Samantha is suing suing her former lawyers for failing to “adequately represent her” after she sued Perez Hilton for defamation of character. If you’ll remember, she lost and had to pay Perez’s legal fees which totalled to around $87,000. I’m sure Samantha will win. That or the judge will order her to pay the lawyers’ lawyer fees as well. Guess which outcome I’m hoping for.

Source: theblemish.com

Bless her heart. Yesterday, Lindsay Lohan walked around LA bra-less in a sheer top just because. Is it me or do Lindsay’s breasts seem to be getting bigger? I could have sworn that when I last imagined fondling them, they felt a little smaller.

Source: theblemish.com

At only 22-years-old, Lindsay Lohan is already thinking of adoption. She told Marie Claire, “At some point … I want to adopt a kid … A child in need or a newborn from another country. I’m not sure yet.”

Hide the babies. There’s a 90% chance any kid raised by Lindsay will turn into a self-obsessed cocaine munching whore by the time they’re 18. Oh the humanity! Won’t someone please think of the children! And so on, and so forth. Seriously though, I don’t care how many kids she adopts. As long as she remembers to spay and neuter them.

Source: theblemish.com

For the past few days, Lindsay and Samantha have been in Los Cabos discovering themselves and enjoying all that the enchanted Mexican waters have to offer. Namely, traveller’s diarrhea. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

Source: theblemish.com

More shots of Lindsay Lohan with her boyfriend in Los Cabos have shown up. They’re doing more lesbiany things like taking a walk, sipping champagne and deep-throating popsicles. I swear, why do lesbians always have to turn something so innocent into something so sexual?

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are hanging out in Mexico doing whatever it is lesbians do. Pillow fighting? Wearing sneakers with bikinis? Looking like a sickly cancer patient? Whatever it is, I hope Sam can handle the sun. The environment is much different than the dank, dark sewers she’s used to.