Source: theblemish.com

If you’d like to see Lindsay Lohan’s side boob, please make an appointment. There will be showings today at 9 a.m., 11 a.m., 3 p.m., 6 p.m. and a final showing at 10 p.m. where there will be fireworks and lemonade.

Source: theblemish.com

Samantha Ronson wasn’t Lindsay Lohan’s first female lover a source tells News of the World. Months before Ronson, Lindsay was with Courtenay Semel and even shared a place together (some evidence to their relationship here). At the time, Lindsay was confused about her sexuality and never went public as she did with Samantha for fear of ruining her career. Allegedly, when Lindsay was with Semel, she would bang a lot of dudes and snort a lot of coke in an attempt to “suppress her urges”.

“But eventually she just gave in and at every party they’d kiss and touch each other in the corner. It’s a miracle nobody found out.

“Both of them would do lines of cocaine in the toilets then head home and fall into bed together.”

Lindsay’s relationship with both Semel and Ronson devolved into a warped love triangle before Semel, tired of the men Lindsay kept bringing home, moved out and Ronson became her true love.

Hollywood seems fun. The only love triangle I ever had was a heart I drew on a valentine that sort of looked like a triangle. It didn’t lead to bi-sexuality and coke fueled orgies though. It was more stifled laughter which turned into frenzied pointing and ear shattering guffaws. I wish I could just forget yesterday.

Source: theblemish.com

Rumors are floating around that Ali Lohan got implants. Lindsay didn’t take too kindly to these accusations. In fact, they made her sick.

hey everyone..
i just had to share something that came up today and it made me feel a bit sick to my stomach.
so, here’s the visual…
me and my friend Patrick walking into a store, and two paparazzi come up out of nowhere (like usual) and start throwing questions at me…
one of them being, “Hey Lindsay, what do you have to say about people commenting on your sisters implants?”
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my response simply was, “Did you really just ask me that? She is a 14 year old girl, and you are a pedophile!”
i was caught out of nowhere so i didn’t really come up with the proper response at the time.. there’s many other things that i felt like saying, but why give it to a random guy with a camera so that he can make money!
All i am trying to say is, is that, i was raised with a wonderful family surrounding me, of course we have our ups and downs, but all in all my mother taught us to appreciate what we have been given. Nor would she ever encourage, or allow a 14 year old child to alter her body.
i am not judging people that do, but i am just saying that its not something that my family finds necessary to do, especially when you’re not even fully developed yet!
It is hard enough being 14 years old and you have enough insecurities to begin with, then add being in the public eye…
i just find it really disconcerting that people have to focus on the negative and that some people are sooooo bored with their own lives that they need to manifest lies to hurt another person.

If you think about it, whoever came up with this rumor is a weirdo. They must have spent countless hours staring at this 14-year-old’s breasts to come to this conclusion. They also fail to take into account puberty. Personally, I’ve never experienced it myself, but I hear the bodies of boys and girls go through changes during this time. Sort of like when Peter Parker turned into Spider-Man, but less superhero-y and more uncontrollable-erection-in-the-middle-of-class-y.

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan has big tits and for some reason she’s dating Samantha Ronson. Allegedly. Still, it might as well be true. There has been no evidence to the contrary while there has been a lot of innuendo confirming it. Anyway, according to News of the World, they’re so in love that they want to get married. Probably around the time when Lindsay’s new album drops. It’s a mystery why they would do that.

Lindsay’s mum Dina has told pals that she wants to “welcome Sam into the family” with a lavish do, including drinks and canapes for Li-Lo’s pals and relatives.

The 22-year-old Freaky Friday star has been shopping for a white mini-dress for the occasion —and I hear she’s chosen a very bridal-looking one by Chanel.

Whatever. There’s no way Samantha or “Sam” can handle a little firecracker like Lindsay. The only person capable of taming this cock hungry lion is me and my spiked dog collar. So don’t be surprised when you hear news of Lindsay cheating on Sam with a devilishly handsome bachelor with granite abs and a medicine cabinet full of tranqs because it’s bound to happen. The eligible bachelor is me by the way. I’m not sure if you got that.

Source: theblemish.com

If this thing blew a kiss at me, I’d think it was casting a spell on me and I’d have to stab it or at the very least, paw wildly at the air in an effort to keep the air kiss from ever reaching my soft, supple lips.

Source: theblemish.com

Earlier this year, it was mentioned that Lindsay Lohan would be designing her own line of leggings to combat that awful thing they call bankruptcy. Most people laughed and assumed Lindsay Lohan knows absolutely nothing about anything, already classifying it as a failure.

Well, those people can suck it because Lindsay combined her knowledge of rug burns and bruised knees with women’s fashion and came out with a line of designer leggings perfect for the modern whore. The most expensive of which runs about $132. Per its description:

Check out Lindsay Lohan’s hot new legging line, 6126 which, happens to be the birth date of Hollywood icon Marilyn Monroe-her inspiration for the collection. Quilted leather knee patches add a sleek urban edge to these racy leggings. Fabric: modal/lycra blend and leather

Yes, you heard right. No more worrying about purple knees and awkward glances at the office the next day. Now, the only thing you’ll have to hide is the shame and regret. Still don’t believe the hype? Listen to what one satisfied customer had to say: “These leggings are fantastic. I felt so comfortable on my knees that it didn’t feel like I was in a gangbang at all!”

Source: theblemish.com

Is Lindsay Lohan in a relationship with Samantha Ronson? People ask themselves this very question in between bites of their morning bagel. According to PEOPLE magazine, she is because their article on Lindsay Lohan’s prom-themed 22nd birthday party places a lot of emphasis on the PDA between Ronson and Lohan throughout the night. For example:

Once the 50 guests – including former Sopranos star Jamie Lynn Sigler and Lohan’s younger brother Michael – began arriving at the balloon-filled venue, the Birthday Girl greeted them all energetically with smiles, hugs and kisses. Ronson was never far behind, often keeping her hand on the small of Lohan’s back.

And,

As the party wound down, the couple appeared to relax, even sneaking in a small peck on the lips at the DJ booth. By 1:15 a.m., the music was muted and Lohan turned out the lights with Ronson by her side.

I don’t know about this whole lesbian thing, but I have to admit, Samantha Ronson does look quite dapper. Like a young Luke Skywalker. Who wouldn’t want to date this sexy Jedi? Rawr.

Judging by this guy’s expression, Lindsay wasn’t wearing underwear.

Source: theblemish.com

Both In Touch and OK! released photos of Lindsay Lohan’s supposed 13-year-old half-sister, Ashley Kaufmann, who was thought to be fathered by Michael Lohan during a break with his then wife, Dina. Michael Lohan is arguing for a DNA test before he sends over any money.

The question now is: Do you see any resemblance to a Lohan? She doesn’t look 13 going on 30, she’s not flashing her panties, there are trees behind her as opposed to mountains of coke and she’s not making out with a chick. In other words, all signs point to “no.”

Source: theblemish.com

In shocking news of the day, Lindsay Lohan has a secret sister. And I don’t mean “sista”. I mean biological sister. Lindsay’s father, Michael, told OK! that while married, but separated, he carried on a relationship with another woman who had a child. This woman convinced Michael that only he could be the father. The girl’s mother, figuring this is the most opportune time to strike, has told Michael to take responsibility (monetarily).

In fact, OK! has seen letters Michael wrote to the girl’s mother where he says that his secret daughter “is beginning to look a lot like Linds, with a mix of [younger brother] Cody, believe it or not.” He also sent his daughter a photograph of himself while he was still in Collins Correctional Facility which he signed “Love Daddy.”

Out there right now is a little Lohan girl who has not been damaged by the combined efforts of Dina and Michael Lohan. It is hard to imagine such a mythical creature. Is she addicted to coke? No? Has she flashed her vagina? No? How many bj’s has she given? None? What? We’re talking about a female Lohan, correct? This is a miracle. Sort of like finding a white gorilla in a field of poo-flinging monkeys. We may have a discovered a normal Lohan! Let us capture and study her.

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan was walking around the set of Labor Pains showing off her flat stomach the other day. Right now I’m walking around my room with my pants off holding a bagel. Your move Lohan.