Source: theblemish.com
Here’s Kelly Brook taking a bow in a bikini for her play Fat Pig. Hey, Kelly Brook is not a fat pig! Hahahhaha. See what I did there? The play is called Fat Pig which is a term often used to describe obese people, but Kelly is not even close to being one yet she’s in this play so I noted the irony. I’m so clever.
Source: theblemish.com
First the good news: Kelly Brook is in a bikini again for the hundredth time. She practically lives in that thing. Plus, the doughy Billy Zane isn’t with her so you won’t have him creeping into your fantasies when you look at these. Now the bad news: She’s not topless. As kids tend to say these days, Epic fail.
Source: theblemish.com
Kelly Brook was having lunch with her doughy boyfriend Billy Zane the other day and someone must have told her about her pants riding low or her thong riding high because she covered it up. Biggest disappointment of my life.
I wanted to find a news item about Kelly Brook to distract from the fact that this whole post was just me staring at her thong, but I was too busy staring at her thong. I hope you can deal with it.
Source: theblemish.com
More pics of Kelly Brook. Unfortunately, she’s covering up her most important features. I love seeing her in a bikini. I love seeing her without one on. But now, I’m wondering what exactly her and Billy Zane do for money. Does Hollywood really pay that well? Maybe Billy Zane is still living off the royalties from his hit, “The Phantom”.
An even more pressing question is why Kelly Brook is dating that walrus. I can only imagine that Billy Zane has the biggest wiener in Hollywood and he’s using it as a pendulum to hypnotize Kelly. That hairy walrus should take his bald head back to the ocean. He looks like her dad. It must be true. Women want to date guys who remind them of their fathers.
Side note: Check out the naked tan guy. WTF?!? It’s like he somehow wandered off the pages of National Geographic into this photo.
Guest contributor: Captain Swarthy
Source: theblemish.com
Yes, yes, a million times, yes! I like how Kelly Brook is getting progressively more naked during her vacation to St. Bart’s. Sooner or later, she’ll be so naked that I’ll have to start furiously humping my monitor like a sex crazed chihuahua. That makes no sense, but, uh, hey look! A topless Kelly Brook! More of the same NSFW awesomeness under the cut. I wonder if she knew something was up for the last photos or if she was going to put her top back on anyway. Had to take them down, but Celebslam has them.
Source: theblemish.com
Billy Zane might have Kelly Brook, but I have my dignity and honor. Oh, wait, never mind. Those disappeared yesterday when ate that bagel I dropped under my bed last month. The cream cheese was actually quite tasty. And green.
Source: theblemish.com
Billy Zane. What a lucky guy. IMDB says he’s filmed or going to film 6 movies in 2008. That’s amazing since I’ve heard nothing about them and probably never will. You could deliver lines in front of a mirror you’ll be just like Billy Zane. A hard fall for the guy from 1996’s, The Phantom, which is currently sitting pretty with a 4.8 on IMDB and 39% on Rotten Tomatoes. By all accounts he should be waiting tables or standing on the corner in a chicken suit passing out fliers for El Pollo Loco. His wet dreams should be the only memories he has of hanging out with a bikini clad Kelly Brook. Yet, here he is on the beach sticking his tongue down the throat of one of the hottest women on the planet. Props to you asshole.
Source: theblemish.com
Kelly Brook was at the New Look Store promoting her lingerie line and I don’t know if you noticed this, but she has huge tits. Wow, I feel like Sherlock Holmes over here. Although, Kelly should really be modeling more revealing lingerie because that way chicks would be so turned on by her huge rack that they’d be more inclined to buy her stuff. At least that’s how it works in my idealized world where girls also love to engage in naked pillow fights on Saturdays.
Check out the girl in the red outfit. She scares me. She sort of gives off this She-Hulk vibe. Almost like she would tear off your scrotum after sex just because. You’d ask her “WHY?!,” and she’d shrug and throw your detached scrotum at your face with a laugh. That’s why I don’t have sex. Too dangerous.
Source: theblemish.com
It’s Memorial Day and what better way to celebrate than with Kelly Brook. Her service to my blue balls has been immeasurable. So here’s to you Kelly Brook. I salute you. By grabbing my penis and tugging vigorously.
Source: theblemish.com
Kelly Brook models her bikini line in these pictures proving once again only pretty people can pull this off. Imagine Courtney Love modeling these. People would be dying from heart attacks for completely different reasons .
