Source: theblemish.com

I don’t know what magic aging filters The Daily Mail has in their arsenal or why they chose to use them on her, but it’s your move Katie. Make it count.

Source: theblemish.com

Katie Holme’s reasons for her busted grill:

1. I ran into a door
2. It was my fault, I shouldn’t have overcooked the chicken
3. He only gets like this when he’s drinking
4. I should have explained to Tom that that wasn’t where his fist was supposed to go

Feel free to suggest other possible reasons. For comparison, here’s Katie earlier this year.

Source: theblemish.com

Sigh, Tom. No matter how many suits you dress Katie in or how short you cut her hair it still doesn’t change the fact she doesn’t have a penis. Can you let her grow her hair long again and wear clothing appropriate for women of her stature? Maybe something low-cut? Because this K.D. Lang looks is starting to freak me out.

Source: theblemish.com

Katie Holmes made her big stage debut in the Broadway production of All My Sons. Tom Cruise showed up to cheer her on and steal her thunder. When Mr. Big Shot arrived, there was massive applause and before sitting, he “waved and bowed for the audience.” At the end of the show, Tom was the first to get up and give wild applause like his kid scored the winning goal at a soccer game.

Also making an appearance was the group Anonymous who showed up outside the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre to protest Scientology. They sported signs that read “Free Katie,” “Scientology is a cult” and “Scientology can suck my hairy balls.” I might have made that last one up. One demonstrator said:

“We are not boycotting Katie, we are not boycotting the play - we are protesting Scientology. It is evil. Scientology kills people. It follows you home at night. It is perverted.”

This makes sense. The only thing that can stop a bunch of crazy Scientologists are a bunch of crazy /b/tards. As you can see in the video below, Scientologists staged an anti-protest. They handed out fliers with a few protesters’ real names printed on them, harassed them and one even tried to start an altercation. At least they know how to fight back. Throw in a few “Your mom” jokes and put a dead fish or two in their heating ducts and they’ll have Anonymous cowering in no time.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Kate Moss had a bit of a hair-malfunction in Germany after promoting her new fragrance, Velvet Hour.

The supermodel returned to her Berlin hotel and while on the red carpet one of her hair extensions came tumbling off her head and onto the ground.

Of course a photographer was there with a quickness to swipe up the piece of Moss. The giddy paparazzo proudly displayed the lock of hair to his colleagues who eagerly snapped pics and secretly envied him.

Ahhh..the exciting life of the paparazzi…

Source: theblemish.com

What better way to revitalize the ailing MTV Movie Awards than with such young up and coming stars like Sarah Jessica Parker, Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. And they even posed together! Ok, yea. Sarah Jessica Parker is in the immensely popular Sex and the City movie which makes her famous and relevant, but she sucks anyway. On a related note, don’t sneak up behind Sarah. You might scare her and then BAM! Hoof to the face.

Either Katie Holmes is a giant or Tom Cruise and Sarah Jessica Parker are hilariously short.

Source: theblemish.com

A source says Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are thinking of trying for another kid now that Suri has gone from cute and needy to just needy.

“She said she’s got the itch,” said a friend close to the pair. “Now that Suri is more toddler than baby, she said she misses having an infant in the house. And, of course, she thinks Suri would make a great big sister.”

Tom Cruise is delighted.

“He said if Katie wants to make another baby, she doesn’t have to ask twice,” said the pal of the power couple. “He always wanted more. It was Katie who has been holding off. Until now.”

They’re trying hard to make Tom Cruise look manly, but I still think he runs away crying whenever he sees the clitoris. I heard one time when a doctor told Tom that the penis has to go into the vagina to make babies, he turned ghostly white, curled up in the fetal position, covered his ears and started rocking back and forth.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: theblemish.com

No longer happy living under Tom Cruise’s dainty fist, Katie Holmes, having been offered a role on Broadway, has decided to move to New York as part of a trial separation. Tom Cruise will allow it. On one condition. She can’t take Suri with her. Star writes,

“She desperately needs to be on her own for a while, but there’s no way Tom is going to let her take Suri away,” an insider tells Star. “There’s no way he’ll allow it. He just doesn’t want Katie — or Suri — out of his sight for long. He told her that if she goes to New York, fine, but he goes with her.”

Tom Cruise is a menacing five feet tall. Him giving orders must be hilarious. That’s probably the reason Katie wants out. He keeps kicking her shins when she laughs at him. That and she’s tired of the revolving door of men from Tom’s bedroom. Tom says they’re his advisers, but the only thing they seem to advise him on is where to stick his fist-shaped dildo. (Hint: It’s not in the air ala Rage Against the Machine)

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

A hysterical little War of the Worlds spoof about Tom Cruise, John Travolta and the aliens. Special appearances by Baby Suri and Katie Holmes. Not real work friendly, but worth watching!