Source: theblemish.com

If you let Jennifer Lopez borrow expensive jewelery, you might as well kiss it goodbye because J.Lo is keeping it. Lopez was lent $50,000 worth of diamonds for the launch of Andrew Lieberman’s fashion line, ALC, last week by Robert Mouawa. He also lent jewelery to Gwen Stefani, Leah Remini and Ellen Pompeo. Gwen, Leah and Ellen returned the accessories the next day, but not Jennifer. No, Jennifer assumed it was a gift and had her manager inform them that she’ll be borrowing it indefinitely.

“As far as Mr. Mouawad is concerned, Jennifer can have whatever she wants, but a premature demand seemed presumptuous.”

There’s no ill will, however. “Mr. Mouawad is the Swiss billionaire who purchased the 60-carat flawless Mondera Diamond for $50 million,” said our source. “He will lose no sleep over $50,000, and frankly, Jennifer’s endorsement is priceless.”

I wouldn’t go so far as to say Jennfier’s endorsement is priceless. She’s quickly become one of the most annoying celebrities of the decade. Her antics are wearing thin and people are starting to do the opposite of what she does because they have so much animosity for her. For example, if they see Jennifer sporting a $10,000 diamond ring, they go to Vons to buy a ring pop, if Jennifer wears a designer dress, they put on a t-shirt and if Jennifer buys a new Lamborghini, they pee in her gas tank.

Source: theblemish.com

In a bid to restart her acting career, Jennifer Lopez may star in the Broadway musical In the Hieghts. An insider tells Page Six that Jennifer chatted up the producer, Meryl Poster, at Nobu last Friday where they discussed roles. Lopez’s rep denied the rumors saying, “She loves the play but is not Broadway bound.”

Another source claimed a movie version is more realistic because Broadway shows are exhausting and time consuming. Sounds about right. Jennifer hates things that are exhausting and time consuming. Things like working out, performing on stage and walking. Can’t stand them. You know her ass? It’s not big because of genetics, it’s big because she likes to sit on it all day. Jennifer’s so lazy that for the past six years, she’s been begging her publicist to let do press in one of those motorized wheelchairs.

Source: theblemish.com

Jennifer Lopez was without her wedding ring again for the red carpet of the Golden Globes. Don’t jump to conclusions just yet. Naturally, there’s a perfect reasonable explanation. Lopez told In Touch via NYDN:

“Every time I’m not wearing my ring, people think I’m getting divorced. That’s crazy! It just didn’t go with the dress.”

Well, duh. Wearing a $1 million 8.2 carat platinum engagement ring to the Golden Globes when you have gold on is clearly a fashion faux pas.

NYDN notes that it doesn’t explain why she didn’t wear it for the premiere of Benjamin Button when she wore white or why she had it on last time she wore gold jewelery.

A more reasonable explanation is that Jennifer Lopez is getting divorced and she’s a lying asshat. Also, she’s a fatty. Probably doesn’t even fit around her pudgy little finger anymore.

Source: theblemish.com

Physically abusive! Hey-oooo! Star Magazine’s Jan. 26th issue says that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s fights have escalated past the normal screaming and shouting. It’s gotten violent. Lopez even one time threatened to sit on Marc’s face and not get off. Okay, I made that up.

“They love hard; they fight hard — and sometimes that has led to pushing and shoving,” reveals an insider close to Marc. “They throw things and scream and just go bananas. It’s been war in their house!” And while Jennifer is known to let loose on him, another source says Marc “can be really mean. He’s a macho guy with a horrible temper and can say awful things.”

What triggers these blowups? A number of things — from various women calling their home to speak with Marc to his comments about Jennifer’s “chubby” post-baby body. And it’s not all him, another source insists the physicality of their relationship is just Jen’s way of getting her husband to pay attention to her.

Ha. Marc calls Jennifer a fatty too. I wonder if he reads blogs to get more ideas. I bet whenever Jennifer gets out of the tub, Marc screams, “Starboard ho,” and throws sharpened pencils at her ass to mimic harpooning a whale. And if he doesn’t, Marc can use that idea for free.

Source: theblemish.com

In an attempt to quell those divorce rumors and maybe make it more shocking when they announce their split via duet after Valentine’s day, Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez have been on vacation in Puerto Rico since after Christmas. Sources say that they’re even thinking about purchasing property at Trump’s International Golf Club Puerto Rico and that they had a “cozy dinner together at Marmalade restaurant in Old San Juan.” Their reps say they’re “great.” Maybe too great.

PEOPLE says “they’ve been having problems” which is normal when two people are raising 10-month-old twins together. “The marriage is experiencing frustrations because of the added stress of the twins,” says another source familiar with the situation, “but they will work things out. They love each other, and that will dictate what happens. I don’t think divorce is in the picture.”

Can two people possibly be any more annoying? According to Lopez and Anthony, yes, in fact, they can. Expect a lot of stories before Valentine’s day that paints a happy picture of the couple. A few magazines might even draw little cartoon hearts and blue jays circling around their heads. Then, bam. Jennifer and Marc split up by singing to each other. Wow. We never saw that coming. You set us up pretty good there Marc and Jennifer. I presume congratulations are in order. Here, have this. It’s my fist in your face.

Then again, I could be all wrong about this, but I’d still like them to have my present.

Source: theblemish.com

Instead of letting people find out through leaked documents or leaking the story to the press themselves, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have decided to announce their divorce by singing a farewell duet together at Madison Square Garden right after Valentine’s day.

Jennifer hopes this will cement her status as America’s number one attention whore. It’s an honor that’s remained rather elusive for her for a while now. And if that doesn’t work, then there’s always plan b. A laser light show emanating from her vagina.

Source: theblemish.com

Instead of letting people find out through leaked documents or leaking the story to the press themselves, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony have decided to announce their divorce by singing a farewell duet together at Madison Square Garden right after Valentine’s day.

Jennifer hopes this will cement her status as America’s number one attention whore. It’s an honor that’s remained rather elusive for her for a while now. And if that doesn’t work, then there’s always plan b. A laser light show emanating from her vagina.

Source: theblemish.com

According to Page Six, Jennifer Lopez is so insecure in her relationship with Marc Anthony that she sends her assistants to go to his concerts to make sure he’s not banging groupies backstage. A source said: “She wanted reports back so he didn’t cheat on her.”

Wow, that must suck for Marc. The only reason Marc Anthony got into the music business is to bang groupies backstage. If he wasn’t famous and worked at Taco Bell or Dunkin’ Donuts, he’d be known as the weird, rapisty looking guy that made all the high school kids take a 3 mile detour just to avoid his creepy ass. Now he’s back at square one posting half-truths on CraigsList for hot M4F action.

Source: theblemish.com

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony’s marriage is reportedly on the rocks. The two have been spotted in the past week without their engagement rings. Us will have you believe it’s a clear indication that a divorce is imminent. I still think it’s because Lopez’s finger is still a little pudgy from the pregnancy. One source explains: “They both didn’t wear their rings on purpose. Nothing Jennifer does is without purpose.”

Anthony’s rep denies these statements, but that source is persistent. They allege that Greyskull is very strict about the way Lopez dresses. Marc is “very, very controlling of her” and “the skirts aren’t as short. You don’t see so much of that booty anymore.”

Jennifer also uses Marc as a scapegoat for her failing film career, refusing to place the blame on her sub par acting ability.

Another problem: Lopez — who once commanded $15 million per film — “blames Marc for her career going down the tubes,” says a mutual pal, adding that she’s bitter about the failure of their 2006 drama, El Cantante, which only grossed $7.5 million. (Her 2002 flick Maid in Manhattan earned over $94 million.)

Just because Marc looks like a zombie and zombies are inherently evil doesn’t mean he’s the reason for all their problems. Sure, his parenting leaves a lot to be desired. Instead of merely standing over the babies’ cribs chanting “brains, need brains,” he could be changing diapers or whatever, but, look, Jennifer knew what she was getting into. It’s not like it came as a shock that she had to take care of the kids AND keep Marc from disemboweling them.

Source: theblemish.com

Like the rest of Hollywood, Jennifer Lopez squeezed into a dress and showed up at the premiere of Benjamin Button. Luckily her breasts distracted everyone from her icy stare and ginormous ass. Seriously, if that thing got any bigger, the sun would probably be forced to revolve around it.