Source: theblemish.com

Eva Mendes is pissed that she’s compared to that other Latina actress Jennifer Lopez. Eva would like to think her career is a little more serious.

“I would like to think I will have a more serious career than J.Lo. We may both be of Latin origin but that’s where the comparisons stop. She manages her career like the head of a big corporation, whereas the only thing I care about is becoming the best actress possible.”

Forget for a second Eva Mendes was in Ghost Rider and 2 Fast 2 Furious. She has a point. Almost every movie Jennifer has been in has sucked. Lopez is like the Latina Tara Reid minus the disfiguring plastic surgery. Jennifer’s idea of acting is to talk in a wispy voice and look into the camera with sad eyes. IN EVERY SINGLE SCENE! Being compared to Jennifer Lopez is probably the worst thing that could happen. People would rather be locked in a cage with a horny Courtney Love.

MENDES HATES COMPARISON TO LOPEZ [Contact Music]

Source: theblemish.com

At her concert at the Olympic Stadium in Athens, Jennifer Lopez showed everyone what months of hard work and preparation for a triathlon can do for one’s body. Worst. Celebrity endorsement. Ever.

J.Lo unveils unsightly back flab as she lets it all hang out on stage [Daily Mail]

Source: theblemish.com

Jennifer Lopez competed in the Nautica Malibu Triathlon finishing the 1/2 mile swim, 18 mile bike ride and 4 mile run in 2 hours and 23 minutes, but not without incident. Remember when I predicted Jennifer would start drowning. It actually happened. Except, her buoyant ass wasn’t the one to save her.

According to the Splash News photo description, Jennifer had to be rescued “as she could not support the big tides.”. She started sinking and went missing for a couple of seconds until her trainer came and dragged her fat ass to where it was shallow enough so she could stand. Once safe, “she gave a big smile showing relief.”

I don’t see why she needed someone to save her. Logic dictates all she needed to do was make that low pitched noise and a pack of humpbacks would have come to her aid. Whales take care of their own. Even if they are fatties.

Source: theblemish.com

Jennifer Lopez filmed a segment for Good Morning America on Aug. 18 where she talked about her training for the Malibu Triathlon. Of course, after they finished taping, she couldn’t help but be a whiny bitch and complained about people paying more attention to Michael Phelps, who made Olympic history with eight gold medals, than to her running a triathlon. MSNBC says:

[Jennifer] was overheard saying after the segment that she “couldn’t understand why everyone is talking about that swimmer,” according to a GMA source. “She couldn’t come up with (eight-time gold-medal winner Michael) Phelps’ name, and then she yammered on about how she was the one training for a triathlon just six months after giving birth, and how that was the big story right now, not ‘the swimmer.’ ”

One only hopes that organizers employ spotters for the swimming portion of the race. I imagine she’ll be thrashing around in the ocean for a long time, swimming at an amazing pace of one foot every half hour and she’ll start drowning 35 minutes into it, only to have her buoyant ass save her.

Source: theblemish.com

One of the steps to get her body back to where it was before she had her twins is to train for and participate in a triathlon.

Lopez’s training includes running, biking and swimming. Anthony says he’ll root her on from the sidelines: “I’m very supportive. I’ll be on my Segway (encouraging her).”

Jennifer should do what I do when I want to lose weight. Place my bag of chips just out of reach so I have to stretch to get it. I burn almost 100 calories at a time. At least, that’s what I tell myself as I struggle for breath trying to grab my fifth chip.

Really though, she’s not going to run this. She’s a diva. Jennifer will take two steps before she sits her ass on a motorized scooter or has her assistant push her in a wheelchair two feet before the finish line so she can pretend to jog through it.

Source: theblemish.com

If you weren’t satisfied with the first set of Jennifer Lopez in a bikini, clearer shots have surfaced. This time of her exiting Italian waters. These photos remind me of an old saying that goes, if the boat is a rockin’, don’t worry, that’s just Jennifer Lopez’s fat ass clomping around on the deck.

Source: theblemish.com

It’s been a while since Jennifer Lopez was seen in a bikini, but here she is in one in Portofino, Italy over the weekend. Jennifer recently gave birth to twins so that may explain why her body looks like it was made from mashed together pieces of Playdough. Marc Anthony was recently buried in Stephen King’s Pet Sematary so that may explain why he looks like the walking dead.

Source: theblemish.com

Lisa Wilson, a flight attendant on board a private flight to Burbank, alleges that Jennifer Lopez’s “vicious” German Shepherd attacked her leg causing her to fall down, hurting her back in the process. She is now suing J.Lo because her back was so bad she had to undergo surgery and now can no longer work. Lisa insists the singer is liable for all injuries because she “should have known the dog had vicious propensities” and muzzled it.

Wilson says Lopez boarded a Gulfstream IV jet at Republic Airport in Farmingdale, L.I., with Floyd, a German shepherd described in the manifest as “a well-behaved guard dog.”

Just in case, Wilson, of Mary Esther, Fla., says in the court papers, Lopez gave her some instructions on how to act around Floyd.

But the suit alleges that 90 minutes into the flight, Wilson walked past Floyd, and he responded by “attacking her and biting her pant leg.”

In an attempt to get away, Wilson says she “twisted and fell,” injuring her lower back so badly she had to undergo surgery last year and no longer can work - “at great economic loss.”

Whatever. You’d know if a German Shepherd attacked you because you’d have bite marks on your leg. It was probably playing around trying to hump her.

Jennifer is an idiot too. Her dumb ass doesn’t need a guard dog. It needs a priest. Every time I see pictures of Jennifer there’s this creepy looking demon standing next to her.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: theblemish.com

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, Catholics, have decided to ask Tom Cruise, zany Scientologist, to be the godfather to their son Max and daughter Emme.

“Tom is delighted. Marc wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to have a Scientologist as the kids’ godfather, especially as he and Jennifer are both Catholic. But in the end Jennifer managed to convince him to agree.”

A $200,000 “Welcome to the World” themed party is also in the works. No word on whether Tom will outfit the fraternal twins in spacesuits and fire them from a cannon into space, but if he did, it would be totally awesome.

Oh, and also. Tom Cruise would like to know what the un-dead like to eat. Is it just brains or do they fancy appendages too?