Source: theblemish.com

Jennifer Aniston loves watching reruns of Friends because she’s in love with herself and will defend the show against anyone who says it sucks.

“There are times I don’t even remember that particular show. This is horrible to say, but there are times when I laugh my rear end off,” Aniston says of watching “Friends” reruns in the upcoming New York Times Magazine. “And I get in debates with people who are over and say, ‘ “Friends” is not my thing.’ Excuse you!”

Jennifer Aniston probably has her alarm set to go off at 5:40 p.m. so she can race home and catch the reruns on TBS at 6. She’ll sit there with a bowl of popcorn or ice cream, forgetting for an hour that everyone thinks she’s boring and ugly. Then she’ll recite her lines whenever her character comes on and she’ll get this forlorn look as she reminisces about the good ‘ole days when she was popular. If you walked in at that specific moment, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for her, but then you remember she’s Jennifer Aniston so you just point and silently laugh.

Check out the header photo. Not even the camera wants to focus on her boring ass. That says a lot.

Source: theblemish.com

The Chicago Sun-Times says Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were taken aback by the interview Jennifer Aniston did with Vogue in which she said it was “uncool” for Angelina to go on record and say she fell in love with Pitt on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. After the news broke, Pitt called Aniston to complain about her comments and shake his head at her because he thought she moved on.

Jennifer Aniston should get over it. Sure, Angelina stole Aniston’s trophy husband which led to a very humiliating breakup which confirmed Aniston is merely a pawn used by her significant other to bide his time while waiting for someone better to come along, but it’s not like Angelina ran over her dog. Sheesh, steal someone’s husband and you’ll never hear the end of it.

Source: theblemish.com

Jennifer Aniston has finally broken the silence about Angelina Jolie. In the upcoming Vogue, Aniston musters the courage to give Angelina a piece of her mind. Aniston tells Vogue: “What Angelina did was very uncool.”

Wow. Did you read that? Not just uncool, but very uncool. Aniston’s finger hasn’t shaken this much in disappointment in years. Nor has she let out such a long, exacerbated sigh until now. How does Angelina live with herself and her six beautiful children and her handsome husband and her ten homes and her two maids and her constant offers to be in feature films and her stockpile of money. Yep. Angelina must be feeling pret-ty bad right now.

Source: theblemish.com

Star Magazine claims Jennifer Aniston is readying herself for twins with John Mayer. Nearing 40, Star says her biological clock is ticking away and as a result, she’s frozen her eggs and is undergoing fertility treatments. Jennifer’s even trying alternative methods like yoga, eating cassava root and upping her milk and beef intake to increase her chances of having twins.

“She knows her baby-making years are limited,” says a source. “It’s hard for her to think of anything else — she has babies on the brain!”

Is Star even trying anymore? I can make up salacious rumors too. Megan Fox is thinking about blowing me. She’s even doing mouth exercises with Popsicles and bananas. Sources say it’s true. See, Star? I can do it too.

Still, I wouldn’t put this past Jennifer. She seems desperate enough. I bet she cries everytime she ovulates and hysterically tries to shove the egg back in her with a tampon.

Source: theblemish.com

Despite starring alongside Owen Wilson in the upcoming dog centric film, Marley & Me, Jennifer Aniston still despises all canines. Talking to the LA Times, Aniston said she was wary of the script when she first got it, “I was like ‘Uck, a dog movie?’”. But beggars can’t be choosers. Er, I mean, Aniston quickly changed her mind once she read the script. “It’s so much more than a dog movie, it’s this beautiful portrait of a marriage and this 15-year span between these two people and this sweet little unconditionally loving creature that sort of walks through it with them.” And it pays real money!

However, Aniston still found a reason to hate all dogs once on set.

“I walked onto the set and put my sweater and my bag down on the couch, and that dog leapt up onto the couch, grabbed my sweater and started ripping it,” she says. The trainers responded immediately, but not as she expected. “They said, ‘good, good boy!’ and gave him treats.” No wonder Clyde came to work every day with a big smile. “The set was a toy.”

Well of course Jennifer Aniston hates dogs. It’s too much like looking into a mirror. And that sweater looked ugly on her anyway. As do most things. Jennifer could even make rainbows look ugly.

Source: theblemish.com

First there were rumors of an unfortunate (for us) pregnancy. Now there are rumors that Jennifer Aniston might marry John Mayer and that it was Jen who made the first move. Because she’s desperate you see. According to Star:

After a barrage of romantic e-mails from him, “she said that she’d only take him back if they got married, and he agreed,” says a source. “They both know this is it. She wants to settle down, and finally, so does he. They’ve even talked about having a family, and John said that he couldn’t imagine doing it with anyone but her.”

A marriage by way of ultimatum. I like it. Maybe later Jennifer can withhold sex until John beats up Angelina and Brad for her because in Jen’s world, people will do your bidding or else…. *shakes fist*

Source: theblemish.com

NW Magazine is running a story that an unplanned pregnancy is behind the reunion of Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer.

But while friends are scratching their heads about what made Jen take the playboy musician back, the smile the actress has been wearing says it all — she’s pregnant and loving it!

Wait. Are they speculating she’s pregnant based off of her smile? I know Jenn’s life is depressing and she has very little to be pleased about, but come on. That’s like me saying that cute girl at Starbucks wants to sleep with me because she always tells me to have a nice day. Even though she does. You can’t base a wild rumor off of a happy disposition. You base it off of anonymous sources or in my case, the fact that you’re given correct change every time you buy a latte.

Source: theblemish.com

This is for all you hardcore Angelina Jolie fans or Jennifer Aniston sympathizers. The quote making its way around the internets today is from an interview Angelina did with the New York Times. While talking about letting her kids watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith, she let slip, “Not a lot of people get to see a movie where their parents fell in love.”

She of course was talking about Brad Pitt who was with Jennifer Aniston at the time which only confirms the fact that she broke up Brad’s marriage. Regardless, Angelina has never denied this but has always said that they were not physical. In an old interview, Angelina claimed “To be intimate with a married man, when my own father cheated on my mother, is not something I could forgive. I could not, could not, look at myself in the morning if I did that.”

Whatever. They totally had sex. They can claim it wasn’t cheating, but wearing a ski mask, holding a knife to Brad Pitt’s throat and raping him is still sex. Just because Brad was crying and begging for his life, doesn’t mean he didn’t enjoy it. He was asking for it anyway. Did you see what he was wearing? That slut.

Source: theblemish.com

NE claims that Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are back together after splitting up in August. The two were reunited in Manhattan where they hooked up. They were recently spotted flying in to LA together on Monday.

“They were very lovey-dovey,” said an insider. “They kissed several times and hugged each other tightly.

“John gave her a long, lingering kiss.”

I thought it said “fingering kiss” the first time I read it. Weird. Anyway, this story is boring. Why can’t Aniston and Mayer ever do anything interesting like drown themselves in the ocean? That would be newsworthy. In fact, they should do it right now. *taps foot* I’m waiting…

Source: theblemish.com

Here are more shots of Jennifer Aniston hanging out in Los Cabos. This is newsworthy because, despite being pathetic and whiny, Jennifer Aniston is sort of famous. Do you see how this works?