Source: theblemish.com

Shocking, just, shocking news today from Huffington Post. The site reports that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s Mexican wedding may be a complete sham. They note that there was no mention of a marriage license being obtained or a separate civil union which are both required by Mexican law to make their union binding. HP talked to Us Weekly who would only say they exchanged rings and vows in front of a minister, but wouldn’t confirm whether it was actually a valid marriage.

A couple can register their marriage up to 10 days after a ceremony, but California does not recognize marriage ceremonies outside the United States, according to the state’s Department of Public Health. A couple can petition a court later to have their marriage legally recognized.

This is a kick in the gut. To think our nation’s most beloved couple would dupe us into believing they had a real marriage. That’s it. I’m taking my “Heidi & Spencer Forever” poster down and Heidi’s song is off my iPod playlist! But my Heidi hair doll, that can stay. It took me an eternity to make that.

Source: theblemish.com

If any of you thought that Heidi and Spencer eloping was a big publicity stunt designed to milk as much fame and cash out of the media as is humanly possible, congratulations, you’re the big winner. The unsubstantiated rumor became substantiated when a poster on ONTD scanned their just received issue of Us Weekly (also confirmed on their website). In it was an eight page spread detailing the tender moments of Heidi and Spencer’s well documented impromptu Mexican union.

They weren’t lying when they said it was a spur of the moment thing. If it was planned, they would have had nine professional photographers as opposed to the three they ended up hiring. Another thing you learn which was not mentioned but still surprising: Heidi is literate. It’s true. You can tell by the generic vow she wrote on the back of a napkin.

ONTD has the rest of the scans if you care.

Source: theblemish.com

If any of you thought that Heidi and Spencer eloping was a big publicity stunt designed to milk as much fame and cash out of the media as is humanly possible, congratulations, you’re the big winner. The unsubstantiated rumor became substantiated when a poster on ONTD scanned their just received issue of Us Weekly (also confirmed on their website). In it was an eight page spread detailing the tender moments of Heidi and Spencer’s well documented impromptu Mexican union.

They weren’t lying when they said it was a spur of the moment thing. If it was planned, they would have had nine professional photographers as opposed to the three they ended up hiring. Another thing you learn which was not mentioned but still surprising: Heidi is literate. It’s true. You can tell by the generic vow she wrote on the back of a napkin.

ONTD has the rest of the scans if you care.

Source: theblemish.com

There’s a rumor floating around the interwebs that Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have wed in a secret ceremony in Mexico. Why Mexico? The United States has laws against inbreeding.

When pressed for details, Spencer the source began choking on their spit because they didn’t imagine anybody would care.

Source: theblemish.com

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt will guest star in a January episode of How I Met Your Mother. They will be playing themselves. Because they suck at acting.

“They will be playing magazine cover-versions of themselves as Marshall (Jason Segel) desperately searches for a place to “read a magazine” while at the office,” CBS said in the statement. “Montag and Pratt will taunt and tease Marshall from the confines of his current copy of Them Weekly.”

How do these two still keep getting work? They’re no talent douchebags. A rotting corpse has more charisma than Spencer or Heidi. Heidi must give an incredible bj. The negotiation process was probably just Heidi opening her mouth as wide as she could and sticking her fist inside.

Source: theblemish.com

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt attended the Taco Bell’s “Reality Check Challenge” where they ate a taco to bring awareness to the World Relief Hunger Movement. Remember, the only way to end world hunger is through obesity. During the event, Heidi said Sarah Palin was getting a bum rap because she’s a woman and is praying for her. Meanwhile, Spencer said he’s praying for Audrina because “something big is wrong.” He didn’t let on to what exactly was wrong, just that he’s concerned.

Spencer and Heidi also revealed that they may actually be getting their own spin-off show “The Heidi and Spencer Show.” Yes, every week you’ll be treated to a 30 minute window into Heidi and Spencer’s lives. It’s like MTV read our minds. I hear in one episode Heidi visits the mentally handicapped and one of the kids eating a glue stick calls her a “fucking retard.”

Source: theblemish.com

Yes! With each passing year, Heidi’s looks begin to fade and she becomes more and more irrelevant. Plus, her refusal to nurture any skill that doesn’t involve sitting there and looking pretty will eventually lead her to a life of misery, poverty and, hopefully, drug addiction. Happy belated birthday you attention whore.

Source: theblemish.com

Has this what it’s come down to? Staging photo shoots in the middle of Whole Foods. Pretending to be blissfully unaware that you’re holding two watermelons, two oranges and two peaches in perfect position in front of your chest clearly meant to symbolize one’s breasts? A gag that was played out before Abe Lincoln was even born? And you do this while staring into the camera acknowledging that this is being photographed and ruining the intended spontaneity of it all? Heidi might as well go through your computer monitor, punch you in the face and say, “Look at me. I’m an attention whore,” and smash your face in her tits.

Source: theblemish.com

Trent from Pink is the New Blog posted the video for Heidi Montag’s latest single “Overdosin’”. It’s so boring I almost slipped into a coma and told the doctor to not resuscitate. The only thing more awful than this is eating a used urinal cake. That said, you should watch it and get back to me on how it feels to watch a trashy, brain dead blonde stay semi-famous while you, college educated, are sitting at a desk, punching your monitor in agony.

Source: theblemish.com

If you thought you had shamed Heidi into forgoeing a music career, then you obviously weren’t effective and may need to shame a little harder. Meant to coincide with the awful reality series The Hills’ premiere tonight, Heidi called into Ryan Seacrest’s KISS-FM show and debuted her new single Overdosin’ which she explains is “when you fall in love with someone… and you’re just overdosing off of their love.” Whoa, that’s deep. Enjoy the feeling of 100 chainsaws slicing through your skull? Then listen to the song conveniently synced to a montage of fake, posed candids.