Source: theblemish.com

Heidi Klum walked the red carpet of the LG Rumurous Night (no clue what that is). She’s so pretty even the wall behind her orgasmed; spewing forth a rainbow of butterflies. Even though Heidi is getting up there in years, I’d still club a baby seal to hit that.

Source: theblemish.com

Leaked sketches for one of Heidi Klum’s redesigned couture gowns have some people speculating that Heidi is already four months pregnant. The reason being that the quickly pulled plans show a space for a bump. An insider thinks this is very telling and that Heidi will announce the pregnancy when she debuts the dress.

Another possible reason for the bump in the dress is that it’s going to be used to sneak out with more food than they allow from the complimentary snack table. Bet you didn’t think of that did you In Touch? Let not our first thought be pregnancy, but be of making off with more food than is socially acceptable. Isn’t that what it says in the Bible?

Source: theblemish.com

For the record, Heidi didn’t seem this pale when I slept with her.

Source: theblemish.com

A few days ago, German fashion designer Wolfgang Joop attacked Heidi Klum calling her “too fat” to walk the runway. He also pretended to shovel food in his mouth as he described how Heidi would be a total failure at modeling. Alright, that part isn’t true, but he would have done it eventually.

“No way,” Joop (64) told BILD. “She is no runway model! Heidi Klum is simply too heavy and has too big a bust. And she always grins so stupidly. That is not avant-garde – that is commercial!”

To everyone’s surprise, being called big breasted and good-natured isn’t a huge insult because Heidi “hottest Victoria’s Secret model” Klum shrugged it off.

“Do I look like I care?” Klum asked Monday as she gave fans makeup tips using her new Spring Look kit. “I really don’t think about [Joop or what he said]. What am I supposed to say? It’s his opinion. What do you think?”

She then went on to tease a pole dancing episode for Germany’s Next Top Model, at which point, everyone called Joop “extremely gay” before taking off their pants and feigning interest in what Heidi said next.

“I’m headed to White Plains right after this because I have my ‘Germany’s Next Top Model’ girls here, and we’re all having a pole dance lesson,” smiled Klum. “I’ve never done it before, but I know that pole dancing is very in right now. It’s an actual workout.

“I don’t know how good I’ll be, or what I’ll be wearing,” she added with a wink. “But I’m going to give it my best effort.”

“It remains to be seen where it will end up airing,” she said. “I don’t deal with the deals for TV. It’s not up to me. [Executive producer] Harvey [Weinstein] does those deals. If I were the dealmaker, we would have already been airing months ago.”

Whoa. How’d I end up here? I could have sworn I had died and gone to heaven.

Source: theblemish.com

Who would have ever thought Gay Quarterly would have photographed Heidi Klum in her bra and panties and put the pictures in their magazine? I’m as surprised as you, dude.

Source: theblemish.com

It’s always refreshing to hear how supermodels are just like us. That is if you’re attractive, fit and have no hangups about being naked in front of people on account of you have nothing to be ashamed of since you’re perfect in every way. So, I guess by “just like us” I meant “just like me.” Heidi tells Pop Tarts:

“To see me in wings is nothing too unusual. People are pretty open with their bodies in Germany, and the children see you naked or in lingerie all the time so it’s not a big deal for us. We don’t hide inside a room somewhere and change — it’s all very out in the open.”

Heidi and me both. I’m never embarrassed by my body either. In fact, in the showers at the gym, I make it a point to make eye contact with the other guys and ask, “Jealous?” Clearly they are because they always wrap their towels around their waist and hurry away. Pfft, they are so transparent.

Heidi goes on to say that the hot man waiting for her at home, Seal, motivates her to stay in shape and adds that she does not want to be a “slouch bag.” And while I’m pretty sure “slouch bag” isn’t a real phrase (is it?), I bet it still sounds real cute when Heidi says it. Not like when/if Paris Hilton says it. With her, I’d just want to punch her in the face.

Some more of Heidi Klum and the Victoria’s Secret girls after the jump and in the gallery.

Source: theblemish.com

Every year, Victoria’s Secret has their lingerie fashion show and every year I check my mailbox for an invite and every year I find a reminder from the court telling me to stay 500 yards away from all Victoria’s Secret models. Next year it’s going to be different. Watch out Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Ana Beatriz Barros, Heidi Klum, Selita Ebanks, Doutzen Kroes, Miranda Kerr, Izabel Goulart and all the rest. This sexy beast is coming for you. So, please, don’t warn the cops and don’t even try to hide your underwear. I’ll find it eventually. I’ve been practicing with my Where’s Waldo books. A few more after the jump or click any photo for the full gallery.

Source: theblemish.com

Marisa Miller, Miranda Kerr and Heidi Klum all showed up for a Victoria’s Secret fitting in NY a few days ago. This should be a reminder for all of you to get your lotion and Kleenex and/or vibrators ready because the annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is about a month away. I don’t want to ruin anything for you guys, but I hear they’ll be in their underwear.

Source: theblemish.com

Every year Heidi Klum dresses up as pure awesomeness. She and Seal always come up with incredible costumes which are always awe inspiring. This year was no exception. Heidi dressed up as Kali and Seal dressed up as.. um, Sinbad? I don’t know but it looks amazing.

Other celebrities should give up. They should just stick to their slutty cop, slutty fairy and, if you’re Kirsten Dunst, giant paper bag costumes. More after the jump.

Source: theblemish.com

Heidi Klum is pretty hot so I don’t know how all these kids contained themselves. If I was there, I’d be trying to cut a lock of her hair with those safety scissors for my Heidi Klum hair doll. They showed a lot of restraint these guys. Although, it was odd that the boys insisted on sitting cross-legged 20 minutes after she left.