Source: theblemish.com

Every year, Victoria’s Secret has their lingerie fashion show and every year I check my mailbox for an invite and every year I find a reminder from the court telling me to stay 500 yards away from all Victoria’s Secret models. Next year it’s going to be different. Watch out Adriana Lima, Alessandra Ambrosio, Ana Beatriz Barros, Heidi Klum, Selita Ebanks, Doutzen Kroes, Miranda Kerr, Izabel Goulart and all the rest. This sexy beast is coming for you. So, please, don’t warn the cops and don’t even try to hide your underwear. I’ll find it eventually. I’ve been practicing with my Where’s Waldo books. A few more after the jump or click any photo for the full gallery.

Source: theblemish.com

Marisa Miller, Miranda Kerr and Heidi Klum all showed up for a Victoria’s Secret fitting in NY a few days ago. This should be a reminder for all of you to get your lotion and Kleenex and/or vibrators ready because the annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show is about a month away. I don’t want to ruin anything for you guys, but I hear they’ll be in their underwear.

Source: theblemish.com

Every year Heidi Klum dresses up as pure awesomeness. She and Seal always come up with incredible costumes which are always awe inspiring. This year was no exception. Heidi dressed up as Kali and Seal dressed up as.. um, Sinbad? I don’t know but it looks amazing.

Other celebrities should give up. They should just stick to their slutty cop, slutty fairy and, if you’re Kirsten Dunst, giant paper bag costumes. More after the jump.

Source: theblemish.com

Heidi Klum is pretty hot so I don’t know how all these kids contained themselves. If I was there, I’d be trying to cut a lock of her hair with those safety scissors for my Heidi Klum hair doll. They showed a lot of restraint these guys. Although, it was odd that the boys insisted on sitting cross-legged 20 minutes after she left.

Source: theblemish.com

Heidi Klum and Tom Bergeron were supposed do a skit for the Emmys where Tom would catch Heidi as she swooned. Tom did make the catch, but then he let go. Later backstage, he was seen showing off the ass bruise he gave Heidi. Good job Tom. That’ll teach her. No one says “no” to Tom Bergeron of Dancing With the Stars. You hear? NO ONE!

Heidi Klum falls on her butt as co-host of the Emmys [NYDN]

Source: theblemish.com

Heidi Klum showed off her new tattoo at the Peabody Awards yesterday. Supposedly, she etched Seal’s name into her arm. Although, it looks more like ocean waves followed by three stars or “Sean”. Maybe her kid scribbled something on her arm, she thought it was cute and tattooed it. Either way, it was a good idea because as they say, no one’s ever regretted a tattoo before. Especially one like this.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: theblemish.com

These pictures of Heidi Klum at McDonald’s eating their snack wraps aren’t supposed to be sexual, but I find them oddly arousing. As if she’s in some sort of snack wrap gang bang. A fast food orgy if you will. I wonder if these are the sort of fantasies Britney has?

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Former supermodel Iman has hit out at Heidi Klum saying that she has far more experience in the fashion industry, therefore she is more qualified to host ‘Project Runway‘.

Iman hosts the Canadian version of the show while Klum runs the American television series. Obviously Iman believes her toes have been stepped on and she feels the need to tell the world how fabulous she once was.

“Definitely Heidi and I come from two different places. I’m not belittling Heidi Klum, but I have been in fashion much more than she has. Not to toot my own horn, but I have been one of the best runway girls. I know clothes, and I know about working hand in hand with designers, I mean, I’ve worked with Calvin Klein, Marc Jacobs, John Galliano. Yves St Laurent - he created a whole collection for me. Tom Ford, Valentino. Versace. Jean Paul Gaultier. Thierry Mugler… I could go on and on.”

Please don’t..

I love it. “I’m not belittling her…BUT..” You know as soon as someone says the word ‘but’, it completely negates everything they said prior to that. Iman would have been better off keeping her mouth shut, she came across as being resentful and egotistic.

Oh, those lovely traits that make Hollywood go around..

Source: theblemish.com

A while back, Heidi Klum made a guest appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show where she admitted to staring at Seal’s huge package during their first encounter. Now the Victoria’s Secret model is back with more tales of intrigue. Specifically, how she let Seal bang her on the first date.

“We went somewhere very nice for dinner — it was very good but I can’t tell you exactly what we did,” she told Pop Tarts last week with a cheeky smile. “It would be too naughty and you can’t run it anyway. It would just be bloop bleep bloop bloop bleep. But it was a very good first date. …”

Bloop bleep bloop bloop bleep indeed. But for your information, Heidi, you don’t know what you missed out on when you declined my dinner invitation and pepper sprayed me in the face. Our date would have ended with boop bleep bleep bleep boop bleep bloop bloop bloop bleep. By my calculations, that’s twice as long as Seal. Not only that, have you ever seen a man cry during sex? No? Well too bad. Now you never will. Sucks to be you, loser.