Source: theblemish.com

Chicken Little says: “Heather Graham’s breasts are falling! Heather Graham’s breasts are falling!”

Poor Heather Graham. She found moderate success in Boogie Nights but lost it after doing films like Say It Isn’t So and Gray Matters. Now she has saggy boobs which means she’s all but unemployable in Hollywood. The only thing she can do now is release a sex tape and hope I’ll find it in my heart to star in it. Being the gentleman that I am, I may very well agree. For Heather’s sake.

Source: theblemish.com

When you have as awesome a rack as Heather Graham, you should do what she did at the G-Star Fashion Show. Show them off through a see-through top. Yes, Heather’s commitment to excellence never ceases to amaze me. “Why can’t you be more like Heather,” I always yell at Jessica Alba making sure I stand 300 yards away. Sigh, she never listens or maybe she never hears. Either way, here’s to you Heather, for your continuing support of all things male. *Strips down naked and salutes the computer screen*

Source: theblemish.com

Since his split from Michelle Williams, Heath Ledger has been sowing his wild oats. His black book reads like a casting call for Hollywood’s top models and actresses. Kate Hudson, Helena Christensen and now add Heather Graham and Gemma Ward to the mix. According to the New York Post,

“He’s following Gemma around everywhere,” a Page Six spy said. “He somehow finds out where she is going to be and then miraculously shows up to the parties or bars where she is.”

Furthermore:

“Spies at Gonzales y Gonzales restaurant saw Ledger, who was “dressed like a homeless guy,” make “a beeline for Graham”…He ignored everyone except Heather and then told her, ‘We should hang out sometime.’ She agreed, they exchanged numbers, but then he just bolted,” our source said. “He was basically only there to pick up a chick.”

Dating for Heath sounds like a covert military operation. Stalk your enemy. Follow them wherever they go. Next, camouflage yourself and blend into the background. Lock onto your target, get in and get out.

Hmm…sounds too complicated. I prefer to go nuclear and just slap girls on the face with my large penis. Usually, they call me sick and disgusting. I say they can’t take a joke.

Heath Ledger as The Joker up above. Gemma Ward and Heather Graham down below. - Captain Swarthy

Source: www.celebitchy.com

Uma Thurman’s breast were on full display last night in a gauzy draped black Valentino dress that did little more than shield her from the wind. She chose the daring outfit for the Swarovski Fashion Rocks event, which she co-hosted. When you’re 37 and the roles aren’t coming in you’ve got to kick it up a notch and I think she pulled it off.

Also on the red carpet were Kate Moss in a a Swarovski studded flapper dress she designed herself for Top Shop. It is estimated to be worth $80k and will be auctioned off on eBay for The Princes Trust if Courtney Love didn’t manage to ruin it.

Lily Allen wore a questionable navy blue Chanel gown with an empire waist that didn’t flatter her newly slender figure, but she looked presentable.

Donatella Versace and Iggy Pop personified rock and rock meets fashion with their weathered faces and kick ass style.

Claudia Schiffer was matronly in a gold pencil skirt and poofy black top accented by a big gold belt.

Naomi Watts showed off her amazing post-baby physique in a gorgeous baby blue strapless gown.

Joss Stone shows the self-determination that has ruined her music career by pairing a plain bright pink Calvin Klein dress with white ankle heels.

Heather Graham was lovely but looked like she was trying too hard in a white sleeveless dress that was just a little too low cut. She should have used Uma’s strategy and picked something see through instead.

Thanks to WENN for these photos and The Daily Mail for some help figuring out the dress designers. I included a blow up of Kate Moss’ face because she just looks so trashy to me. Uma may be showing nip but she does it with grace.

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Graham shot the video for a song she recorded for her upcoming indie flick, Broken, co-starring Jeremy Sisto.

Heather Graham sings like Heather Graham acts: in a way that totally doesn’t matter at all, because she’s fucking gorgeous.

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

I guess she’s still pretty, but she’s definitely aging.

That’s so sad. If Heather Graham can age, imagine what could happen to me!

Also note the Kabbalah bracelet.

Leaving Koi last night.

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

Source: www.evilbeetgossip.com

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

At least this Shagadelic babe can’t!

Rumor has it that Ms. Heather Graham recently partied at Mexican Restaurant, Gonzalez y Gonzalez, with fellow celebs Jimmy Fallon and Claire Danes. Heather thought she was getting her groove on quite nicely, but everyone in the place was quietly laughing their asses off at her “spastic moves”!