Source: theblemish.com

If you’re into sweaty 4ft tall chicks, then boy, are you in for a treat. Hayden Panettiere was walking her dog in LA yesterday and I have no idea how she got like this. It looks like someone dumped a bucket of water on her.

Maybe it’s the fact that I sent her a picture of myself and she got all hot thinking about me while walking her dog. Alternatively, maybe it was because she was wearing a sweater with long pants when it’s almost 90F outside like a wacko. Nah, it’s definitely because of me. Occam’s Razor, man.

Source: theblemish.com

Sometimes Hayden Panettiere looks cute, sometimes not so much. This is one of those not so much times. She looked like a disaster at Madonna’s concert. One part flamenco dancer, one part Princess Leia sex slave, one part troll hooker. I’m no stylist, but if I was, I’d snap my fingers flamboyantly and say in a diva voice, “Uh-uh sista, this ain’t gonna work.”

Source: theblemish.com

Look at how edgy Hayden Panettiere is. Her friends backstage dared her to wear boxers under her dress on Ellen and she did. She even showed it on national television. Lifted up her dress, just like that. “What a hussy!,” is what those people in the 1700’s would have yelled at their magical moving picture box.

Source: theblemish.com

Hayden Panettiere did a PSA of sorts for Funny Or Die encouraging people to vote for McCain. Therefore, that’s what you guys should do. Vote for McCain. Because Hayden seems very adamant that you do so. She also said that if you vote for McCain, you have a good chance at being fucked. Woo hoo! CONDOM, ACTIVATE!

Source: theblemish.com

The best way to convince people to do what you want is to talk down to them and separate them into two categories. The good, ones who agree with you, and the bad, ones who don’t. It is these types of forced polar opposites that have brought peace to our nation.

Source: theblemish.com

Hayden Panettiere’s dad, Alan, was arrested for spousal abuse back in August for hitting his wife, Leslie, because she “disrespected’ him. Both Alan and Hayden said the incident was blown out of proportion and nothing happened. However, prosecutors don’t agree and will charge Alan with misdemeanor battery. He faces up to a year in jail if convicted.

At the time, a sheriff’s spokesman said Panettiere was accused of hitting his wife three times with an open hand. The 49-year-old was later released on $50,000 bail after the arrest. His arraignment will be held in October at a Beverly Hills courthouse.

In Alan’s defense, he was only trying to keep his pimp hand strong.

Source: theblemish.com

This wasn’t what I meant when I said I wanted a little head.

Source: theblemish.com

Hayden Panettiere recently bought a $2.6 million house in West Hollywood, but her boyfriend/co-star Milo Ventimiglia isn’t happy. He thought they were going to buy a house together. In fact, he wants to marry Hayden. Star reports:

But it turns out Hayden isn’t ready to play house. According to the friend, she’s “freaking out” because Milo keeps talking marriage. Adds the chum, “She’s not even old enough to have a drink, so she’s not even thinking about settling down.”

Jesus, Milo. Calm down. She just turned 18. She still has to bang a bunch of dudes before she settles down. She hasn’t even gone to rehab, flashed her vadge or been arrested yet. Isn’t doing one of those a prerequisite in Hollywood before marriage? They’re like a rite of passage. Don’t take that away from her and me.

Source: theblemish.com

These pictures of Hayden drowning a dog would have went well with that other post. Also, if you’re wondering why she’s wearing a pointy hat that has “Shabooya!” written on it, I believe it’s celebratory.

Source: theblemish.com

Extra spoke to Hayden Panettiere about the alleged spousal abuse charges levied against her father. The Heroes star said it was a case of an attention whoring sheriff.

“It [the incident] was blown way out of proportion by a sheriff who wanted his fifteen minutes of fame,” the “Heroes” starlet tells “Extra.” “My family is wonderful — so very happy. We’re all great.”

Hayden can rest easy tonight. There will be no black eye to cover up with concealer tomorrow because daddy didn’t have to tell her twice.