Source: theblemish.com

The life of a model is so hectic. Every day it’s look seductive, look passionate, stand by that hungry tiger. That’s why I left that world. That and the models would always tell me I wasn’t a “real” model and that I should stop rubbing up against them less they call the cops. Ha, their facade of rage could never hide their jealousy. Now I live to save babies from burning buildings and fight crime at night and meet with my parole officer every other week.

Source: theblemish.com

Did you know Gisele Bundchen has five sisters including a twin back home in Brazil? Well, she does and she supposedly sent them around $10.8 million to help support themselves and now they’re afraid they’re going to be kidnapped and held for ransom. Star says Gisele regularly deposits large sums into her parent’s account. Gisele’s sister Patricia is doing everything in her power to dispel these “rumors” saying “I have no idea who could have made up a story like that. (It’s) very very dangerous for Gisele’s family.

Telling the world that you give millions a year to your poor family in a country like Brazil is basically a death sentence. Based on all the movies I’ve seen which are definitely not built around exaggerated stereotypes, Brazil is pretty much a lawless land where justice is just another way of saying, “How much do I get out of this?” Gisele might as well mail them a box of poisonous snakes or a hungry bear. It’ll be much easier to swallow than the severed ear they’ll most likely get from the kidnappers.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Gisele Bundchen landed the July cover of GQ magazine, stripping down to only a bra and a pair of those hot skater socks.

Either you love her or you think she has a man-face, but there is no denying that she has an amazing body.

On whether or not she has a “signature expression”: “A photo is a story. Who will be this woman? Who will be wearing those sexy tops with boys’ underwear? I try to understand. Who is she? What kind of mood is she in? Like, whatever, I’m in my bedroom. I’m like, my boyf—”

On approaching men: “I’ve always been in serious relationships. I meet someone and date him for a long period. I don’t sit there thinking, like, ‘I wonder if I can seduce that guy.’ I have other things in my mind.”

On the various rumors about her: “People are unbelievable. The other day a girl on my plane was pulling my hair. She was like, “I just want to check if—” This is all my hair, by the way. I did not have extensions, let me tell you.”

On the reports that she’s the highest paid model in the world: “Do you think that’s important to me? Look, this is my job. I take pictures. There is no big deal. I would like to know who this reporter is finding out all of these amounts. And I would like him to talk to my accountant and figure out where is the cash that’s missing. Because I haven’t seen it.”

On telling the Boston Herald that Tom Brady is “not too shabby” back in 2005 when shown a photo of him: “Look, I’m Brazilian. I had never seen football before. I’m freezing, and all I’m thinking is, when can I go back to New York City? I didn’t understand why they were all hitting each other. Now I do, but I didn’t. I just wanted to get out of there, so I’m just gonna say what you say to get out of a conversation. If he had been any other guy, I would have said the same thing. We met through a friend who knew us both for a long time. Believe me, I didn’t even remember [the picture of Brady]. Our friend knew that we would like each other. And we did. So I guess he was right.”

On her relationship with Tom: “I think we have a lot of things in common, and I think he is a really great person. He really, genuinely doesn’t have a bad bone in his body. And he is a very positive person.”

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Source: theblemish.com

Shortly after this photo was taken, Gisele Bundchen proceeded to deep throat her Ipanema sandals. While impressive, it was highly unnecessary.

Source: theblemish.com

Some guy managed to land the fantastic job of lotioning Gisele Bundchen’s ass for her photo shoot. I wasn’t even considered because of the background screening. Either way, I’m happy for him. So happy that I want to punch him in the face. He doesn’t deserve this. I should be the one rubbing stuff on her ass without fear of being tasered. Me me me. I don’t have a shrine to Gisele just to be that creepy guy who stares at my neighbor through her window with binoculars you know. Whoops, how’d that last part get in there?

Source: evilbeetgossip.com

You know, normally I take a pretty cynical eye toward celebrity life. I know most of it’s bullshit. I get that. I understand that these are real people with real emotions and real lives, and they all have pain and heartbreak and sadness and rough nights just like you and me, and I understand that, in many cases, money and fame only worsen the problem. I understand that most of these lives are not in any way enviable.

But Gisele?

Fuck Gisele.

Gisele lives in this magical little world where she’s forever gorgeous and delighted and weightless and beloved and NFL quarterbacks leave their pregnant girlfriends when she demonstrates even the tiniest bit of interest and any speck of sadness that might accidentally fall within 20 yards of her life is quickly ushered away by the ever-vigilant Gisele Bundchen Happiness Fairies.

Fuck Gisele.

Source: theblemish.com

Vogue’s cover of a very game Lebron James clutching smiling supermodel Gisele Bundchen has sparked outrage among a few citizens. People shouting racism claim the photo evokes a racial stereotype of the “black beast clutching a white damsel in distress” [Gisele is Brazilian…], made famous by Emmanuel Fremiet’s sculpture and King Kong. Lebron is the third man and first black man to ever grace the cover in Vogue’s 115 years.

“Here you have an image of a black male athlete in an exceptionally aggressive stance, wide footed, bending over, clutching her with his arm,” said Jason Rosenfeld, professor of art history at Marymount Manhattan College. “It’s one thing to have an athlete in that kind of pose and with that kind of expression on a court after he or she has done something miraculous. It’s another thing to couple it with someone who is of an entirely different ilk and gender. That turns it into a racially charged image.”

Vogue says the magazine is celebrating diversity and people are making something out of nothing.

“It’s so exhausting that every time people see an image of a black person they work themselves into a tizzy that somehow it doesn’t adhere to the way in which they think a black person should be presented,” she said.

“Needless to say, the intention from the beginning was only to depict LeBron and Gisele as superstars at the top of their game,” Vogue spokesperson Patrick O’Connell said. “The point about the entire issue is that it celebrates diversity. And I think that people need to look at the entire issue.”

You know what’s racist? Making Lebron bounce a basketball in the picture. Why do all black men have to be basketball players. Why can’t he just wear a top hat and monocle and swing a cane around like on a normal Vogue cover. What? Lebron is a basketball player? Oh… I, uh, still stand by my statement.

By the way, where ARE all the white women at?

Source: theblemish.com

A collection of photos, which includes nudes of Gisele Bundchen (larger NSFW version here) and Kate Moss, from German-born collector Gert Elfering are set to be sold for $3 million. Christie’s auction house says,

“The stylised, idealised female figure occupies a privileged place in Elfering’s aesthetic.”

I find it surprising any time black and whites are taken of girls in the nude, it’s considered art. Yet, when I take full color ones it’s considered a violation of my parole. Jerks.

Source: theblemish.com

A Chinese eatery by the name of Philippe frequented by the rich and famous are denying claims that their employees screen recordings of celebrities who dined in their “private” wine cellar. An insider tells the Post:

“They’ve watched tape of Diddy and Sienna Miller hanging out and Tom Brady and Gisele [Bundchen] hooking up. They get a kick out of it, they laugh and comment on people,” said our source. “Only a small circle of staffers there [knows] what’s going on.”

Ronn Torossian, a rep for the restaurant, confirms there are video cameras in the private rooms, but insists they’re for security purposes and that all tapes are kept off-site and deleted. Security purposes only. Wink wink Ronn. I gotcha. What do you say after Page Six leaves we go view these non-existent tapes? I’ll even bring my friend George Washington. If you’re really good, I’ll even bring along his identical twin. Cha-ching, Ronn, cha-ching.