Source: theblemish.com

Dating George Clooney isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. After he inevitably dumps you, no one will ask you out again because no one wants George’s sloppy seconds. According to Lisa Snowdon, one of his ex’s from three years ago,

“I’ve been celibate for a year and starting to think I may never have sex again.

“It’s not something I planned but I just don’t get asked out any more.

“Men seem to look at me and think, ‘She went out with George Clooney, what chance have I got?’ ”

“The hardest thing is dealing with people who think I was going out with George to further my career. In fact, offers almost totally dried up. People assumed I wouldn’t be interested in modelling again.”

Oh really? Lisa Snowdon, would you like to go on a date with me? See how I just invalidated her claim? Sounds like Lisa’s just being too picky. You’d think after a year of celibacy she’d jump at the chance of someone like me showing up at her door in a ski mask holding a 24 pack of condoms, grinning, drooling and hard.

Source: theblemish.com

Cindy Crawford was in France with her husband Randy Gerber doing supermodely stuff like yachting, swimming, jet skiing and climbing out of the water in slow motion. Not surprisingly, George Clooney showed up because rest assured, wherever there are supermodels, George will be there to hit the surrounding men with a pool noodle.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

I’m not sure I believe this one. At least I don’t think it led to the absolute demise of George Clooney and Sarah Larsen’s relationship, but then again, who knows.

Sources are saying that one of the reasons that the couple broke up is because George didn’t like Sarah’s new boobs!

The former cocktail server had them done in May despite Clooney expressing he wished she didn’t.

“George really didn’t want her to get the boob job. She asked George if she could do her recovery at his house and he agreed,” a source told In Touch Weekly.

As for the breakup, Larsen never saw it coming.

“They had a huge fight and he left the house. Sarah read in the media that they’d broken up and freaked out because George hadn’t told her anything. He had to explain himself because she’d found out with the rest of the world.”

Apparently Sarah loves her new boobies and is hoping to pose for Playboy (of course) now that she is single and trying to claw her sorry ass to the top . . or even the bottom rung.

A friend says, “She likes her new body so much that she would consider posing for Playboy. Now that she’s famous, she’d never go back to cocktailing.”

Source: theblemish.com

George Clooney is said to have dumped Sarah Larson last month, who supposedly found out about it through a magazine, because she ignored his advice on not getting a boob job. In Touch Weekly writes:

“George really didn’t want her to get the boob job. Although she asked George if she could do her recovery at his house and he agreed.”

“She likes her new body so much that she would consider posing for Playboy. Now that she’s famous, she would never go back to waitressing.”

I read this as “man dumps pretty girl with big boobs.” This is madness. This can’t be. People don’t dump attractive females because they have big breasts. It… it was probably an ill conceived excuse to move on. “I have to end this. Your, uh, boobs are too big.” “My boobs are too big?” “Wait. No.” At that point, George’s penis probably put its hands on its face and shook its head in disbelief and whispered, “You idiot.”

But, Playboy, huh? Aim for the stars I guess. As they say, today, Playboy! Tomorrow, irrelevancy!

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Sarah at the Palms Saturday, 5/31

George Clooney, who has sworn he will never marry again, broke off his romance to Sarah Larson with a swift kick to her ass - so to speak.

Larson is reportedly shocked and devastated at the sudden breakup. She’s moved back to Las Vegas, where she lived before her whirlwind romance with Clooney.

Larson boldly stepped back into the public eye last Saturday at the Palms Place Hotel & Spa’s grand opening party - the same casino she worked in only a year ago.

She had been living with Clooney, who when he decided it was over pulled the rug from under her feet, moving out of his own home until she had gathered her things and left. I always figured he’d be a dick like that. He’s George Clooney!

One of Sarah’s friend’s dished, “She’s totally heartbroken and doesn’t deserve this. It came out of nowhere. They had made all these plans.”

I guess we’ll see how strong Larson is, and if she can manage to pull a Kim Kardashian and achieve fame by association.

Source: theblemish.com

George Clooney’s split with Sarah Larson was sudden and unexpected. Sarah thought she and George were going to marry, but George had other plans. Namely, banging a bunch of other women.

“She thought they were getting married. Instead, she got dumped,” a friend said. “She’s really upset. Devastated.”

“She’s totally heartbroken and doesn’t deserve this,” a friend said. “It came out of nowhere. They had made all these plans.”

Adding insult to injury, friends say, is this month’s issue of Harper’s Bazaar, which features Larson posed on a motorcycle, clad in Dolce & Gabbana.

The headline reads: “It Girl: Sarah Larson. Don’t hate her because she’s beautiful, fearless … and dates George Clooney.”

Hmm, marry Sarah Larson or bang a bunch of models each day of the week. This really is a tough decision. Let’s consult Captain Obvious. *Gasp* In an astonishing twist of fate, Captain Obvious says to go with the models. I am shocked. Just. Shocked.

Source: theblemish.com

George Clooney has finally bored of that cocktail waitress he picked up at the Whiskey Bar in Vegas last year and kicked her to the curb. Mmm hmmm. *Snaps fingers* That’s not to say his relationship with Sarah Larson wasn’t significant. No, it certainly was. Sarah was the first girlfriend to ever attend the Oscars with him. They were also both injured in a motorcycle accident, but not even skeletal fractures could keep these two together.

“George is relieved to be single again,” says an insider. “He thinks Sarah is sweet and that is why it was so hard to break up with her.”

The big loser in all of this is Sarah because she has to go back to Vegas to her old job as a hired gun for “special events.” She’ll have to constantly deal with horny frat boys and dirty old men hitting on her and she’ll have to take it because that’s what they pay her for and one day a guy will probably be so brazen as to grope her ass, but don’t worry, I’ll be there waiting to defend her honor or, you know, shout, “show us your tits!”

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

We knew it wouldn’t last because George Clooney isn’t exactly the marrying kind.

InTouch Weekly is reporting that Clooney, 47, dumped his girlfriend of the past year, Sarah Larson, 29.

A friend of Sarah’s dished that the actor moved out of his home temporarily to allow Sarah to gather her belongings and hoof it outta there.

A source said, “George is relieved to be single again. He thinks Sarah is sweet and that is why it was so hard to break up with her. The truth is that they had little in common and he just doesn’t want to be tied down.”

Clooney’s publicist won’t comment on the matter.. but what is there to doubt?

Ooohh! I wonder when her book will be out! Dish it girl…dish it!!

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

I do hate to admit that reality shows are one of my guilty pleasures.

Rock of Love with Bret Michaels is one of my favorites although I don’t say that with pride. So when I heard that George Clooney and girlfriend Sarah Larson watched it as well I was a little surprised.

Sarah told Harper’s Bazaar, “We caught ourselves rooting for someone or getting frustrated. And we were like, ‘This is sad.’”

Larson was once on a reality show herself, NBC’s Fear Factor. She says that if George would have been a reality star when she met him he wouldn’t have had a shot. (Duh.)

“If George had been on a reality show, I don’t think I’d have talked to him. It would have been like, ‘That’s nice.’ But after a little consideration she adds, “I don’t know. He still wants to date me, and I ate a scorpion.”

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Either one of George Clooney’s friends doesn’t like his new girlfriend, Sarah Larson, or someone pulled a tasteless prank on the actor.

Clooney told the New Yorker that he received a voicemail from a middle-aged man who told him that he was representing a group of Clooney’s friends who want the actor to drop the cocktail waitress.

Clooney played the message for the magazine and Larson was there to hear it for the first time as well.

The message says, “Dude, your friends asked me to give you a message: Dump the bitch before you’re sorry!”

When Larson hears the message she goes off about how she is portrayed unfairly in the press.

“They say that I’m a stripper. There’s a ton of stuff about that. I’ve never been a stripper. You know, just because I’m from Las Vegas, I must be a stripper. Because I’m a cocktail server, that means I’m an escort.”

Clooney, who is known for being a prankster, doesn’t think the message was a joke.

“It’s not a prank - none of my friends would do that.”

Nor does he think it’s funny. In fact, he enrolled his police officer driver to trace the number, which was tracked down to a pre-paid cell phone, but that’s as far as the investigation got.

But take that as a warning prank phone caller, Clooney has a police chauffeur and he’s not afraid to use it!