Source: theblemish.com

Ali Lohan and her mother Dina showed up at the Animal Fair magazine Halloween Pet Costume Contest wearing retarded costumes that didn’t make any sense and didn’t bring their pets. Ali wore a netted top with skin tight leggings, cat ears, a barbed wire tattoo, a bow tie and looked about ready for menopause. Dina wore cat ears.

I don’t get it. Maybe Ali wanted to be a Playboy bunny but Dina wouldn’t let her? Dina probably told Ali no respectable woman would dress up in such a provocative manner to an animal contest. That type of attire for a 40 14-year-old is only acceptable at the Playboy Halloween party. Which Dina is currently trying to secure an invite to.

A piece of advice, Ali. If you make it in, whatever you do, stay away from the grotto. The sea men there that you hear everyone talking about is not what you think.

[Images via Splash News]

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan has found it increasingly difficult to land a gig and not piss everyone off. Therefore, it’s time to put that horse out to pasture and usher in the next generation. Nicknamed “The Great Red Hope,” Ali Lohan filed a petition with the L.A. County Superior seeking approval — she’s a minor, 14 — to be allowed to work with Maloof Music. TMZ details:

She’s been recording something called “Interpersonal” at the Maloofs’ hotel-casino in Vegas — a much better place for a 14-year-old to spend her days and nights.

She’s doomed. Ali’s only natural talent is looking 30 when she’s 14. She’d have an easier time auditioning as “the girl who lures guys to the house” on To Catch a Predator. Oh and good job Dina letting your daughter stay at The Palms or whatever Maloof casino she’s at. This is exactly how kids end up as a cautionary tale on fictional crime based dramas.

Source: theblemish.com

Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson both blasted Michael Lohan yesterday for talking about LIndsay to the press in order to get attention. Michael responded yet again calling Dina a two-face. Today, Michael sinks to a new low. His father just passed away and he’s using his death to prove how horrible a person Dina is.

“My father just, literally, died in my arms. I notified all my kids and my lawyer notified Dina’s attorney. Let’s see if she has the decency and respect to bring my kids to the wake and funeral.”

“THIS will show her true colors! Thus, not even a call. But that’s par for the course with Dina! She didn’t even send a card or visit when he was sick.”

Michael’s dad won’t be buried or cremated for at least two weeks. His decaying corpse still has some media mileage left in him. Five days from now Michael will issue another statement to the press furiously proclaiming he has received nary an inquiry from Dina about funeral arrangements and that his dad has “really started stinking up his house.”

Source: theblemish.com

Dina Lohan and Ali Lohan are famous for nothing yet managed to secure a reality show by banking off of Lindsay Lohan’s name. While they think this makes them big stars, the real world disagrees. Which is why studio staff kicked Dina out of last night’s premiere of the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 when she tried to steal a reserved table.

Sources report that when Dina, Ali and a friend of Ali’s arrived to the after-party, they sat down at a reserved table. A studio staffer politely asked her to change tables, but “Dina “went apes–t,” a partygoer tells me. “It so wasn’t cool.”

So not cool that “Dina was quietly removed” from the rooftop soiree, another source says.

Dina contends that she left because the staffer raised his voice which “made the girls uncomfortable.”.

Right, whatever lets you sleep at night Dina. I can’t wait for the day event organizers, party planners and club owners have a “tase on sight” order for her. I think LA and NYC should give all celebrity hotspots this right. It would make news much more interesting like, “Last night, Dina was tased for the third time after she attempted to enter a Lohan free club. Along with the usual convulsing, she also frothed at the mouth and bit off her tongue. Sheriffs have deemed ‘Operation Fuck Dina’ a success.”

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

• Nick (Bollea) Hogan has been denied his request (hooray!) to be let out of the jail’s solitary confinement and into general population or house arrest. Nick’s attorneys claim the seclusion is cruel and unusual punishment and that it’s unbearable for him to be in there 16-17 hours a day. We wonder if he’d rather be in a coma 24/7?

• Also in Nick Hogan news, Nick has decided to sue the Florida Sheriff’s department that released the phone calls he made from jail to his mother and father. The lawsuit names privacy rights and is seeking to prevent further tapes from being released. Last time I checked you pretty much lose all your rights when incarcerated. Maybe he should exercise his right to shut the f@*% up! Nick’s attorney says, “Nick only asks that he be treated no differently than the other inmates at the Pinellas County Jail. Instead, the Sheriff’s Office has singled him out by the unprecedented release to the media of his personal calls with his family.”

• Those crazy Lohan’s are at it again. Michael Lohan has reopened the divorce case saying that his ex-wife, Dina Lohan, won’t allow him to see his children. He also accuses her of often showing up to therapy sessions late and/or drunk off her ass. He says she failed to bring the children to 15 of 29 judge-ordered visits with their father. He adds that Dina prioritizes her relationship with her children as such: First, as their manager, Secondly as their friend, and Lastly, as their mother. The two were scheduled to appear in court this morning, with Dina facing “immediate arrest and imprisonment” if she didn’t show.

• Lisa Van Allen, R. Kelly’s former lover, is coming forward with tales of the R&B star’s predatory sex practices. She claims he carried a duffel bag of sex tapes with him no matter where he went. She says she was introduced to the under-aged victim before having a threesome, but once Van Allen began crying Kelly became upset and quit filming saying he couldn’t do anything with the footage. She also claims he tried to retrieve the video from her by offering $250,000. Kelly’s attorneys claim Van Allen stole a $20,000 Rolex from the singer and that she may have set him up in order to extort money.

• Megan Fox admits she has a higher sex drive than most teenage boys! Just what the millions of men around the world wanted to hear. The drop dead gorgeous Transformers star says, “I have the libido of a teenage boy. I’d rather have sex all the time than leave the house.” You can pick your tongue off the ground now, guys!

Source: theblemish.com

Michael Lohan, Lindsay’s psycho attention whoring father, showed up at the Penninsula Hotel on Wednesday where Lindsay’s girlfriend Samantha Ronson was deejaying and staked out the lobby waiting for Lindsay to arrive. A source revealed to Page Six:

“It was freaky. He was sitting on the steps and texting like mad, and looking very upset that she hadn’t arrived.”

Lindsay supposedly learned about her dad’s ambush and steered clear of the hotel, opting instead to have lunch with her mom and sister. A wise choice because Michael Lohan is crazy. He’s the kind of guy who professes his love for god, but a week later police find twenty dead bodies piled up in his basement all dressed in evening gowns, their hair bleached and wearing whorish makeup and spray on tans.

Dina Lohan, on the other hand, is less of a psycho, but still a horrible parent. At least according to a few critics who caught a glimpse of her reality show on E!. Viewers were appalled when Dina Lohan showed Lindsay Lohan’s alleged sex tape to 14-year-old Ali.

“Last time I checked, allowing a child to watch porn is against the law,” one viewer commented on GlossLip.com. Another asked on Trashwire.com, “Does anyone besides me think it’s weird that Dina showed her daughter [such images]?”

It’s true, Dina is a pretty awful at raising children, but still, by the time I was 14, I’d already seen sites like Goatse.cx, Rotten.com, Stileproject and Orgish (now LiveLeak). This was actually pretty tame. Knowing how Lindsay turned out, Ali’s probably already doing Kegel exercises when she pees. She could probably grip a bowling ball with her vagina by now. A 6 pound one. She hasn’t yet reached the expert level of 14 pounds like Lindsay. One day, though. One day.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Even though Lindsay Lohan’s mother and sister deny that she is romantically involved with Samantha Ronson, Lindsay’s blabbermouth father, Michael, has no problems outing his famous daughter.

Michael spoke with Usmagazine.com about the lesbian relationship between Lindsay and Sam. He says, “it’s evident to anyone with half a brain.”

Even though he was so eager to publicly announce his daughter’s sexuality, he says that it’s something he really doesn’t want to know about. “Just like the Marilyn Monroe spread, Linds is my daughter and there are just some things a father doesn’t want to see or hear, regardless of whether they are true or false.”

Michael also used the opportunity to slam Lindsay’s mother, Dina, saying she exploits her children and that the family has basically gone to hell since their split. He says, “Maybe her mother’s life revolves around the tabloids and reports, but mine doesn’t. I am into setting a good example and doing good things that don’t deceive or exploit my kids. But I will say this: While we were a family, you never even saw or heard a negative thing about any of us. But since the separation, look at everything that has happened!”

So, did I hear that right? He’s not into exploiting his children, but yet he continually runs to tabloids to spill the family’s personal business. Dina and Michael are both equally nuts! And as you know, crazy + crazy = Lindsay Lohan!

Yes, the relationship is obvious, but for Michael to out his daughter just goes to show you how classless this family is.

Source: www.celebritysmackblog.com

Dina Lohan and daughter Ali are still out pimpin’ their upcoming reality show, Living Lohan.

Although I can’t stand Dina, I’ll be watching. I love to hate her, I suppose. And Ali, well, I can’t get over how much she reminds me of her sister, except Lindsay looked and seemed a lot younger at 14-years-old than Ali does. Ali is 14 going on 30! At least Lindsay didn’t look 30 until she was like, 17.

Source: theblemish.com

If you’ve ever wondered whether or not receiving a proper education is tough when you’re Lindsay Lohan’s sister, then wonder no more because it is. Really. Just ask Ali and she’ll tell you. School was a nightmare. Some people are shot and stabbed, but Ali suffered worse. A couple girls once made a video of her and put it up on YouTube.

“They used disgusting words. Like if my mom ever heard me say that stuff, I’d be grounded for life! … They’re disgusting kids. I got really aggravated.” School authorities were notified, the 14-year-old adds, “and [the students] got suspended.”

Words that Ali and Dina consider disgusting include: Wal-Mart, Ross Dress for Less, Payless Shoes and public transportation. Ugh, I feel dirty just typing them. However, fear not. Ali is home schooled now where she no longer has to endure those real life Mean Girls or feign interest in cringe worthy subjects such as math, science and literature.

“You learn so much more – it’s just hard to focus when girls are giving you problems,” she says. “No one’s talking about you behind your back. It’s definitely easier.”

A sampling of her home curriculum being taught to her by her mother, Dina, are as follows: How to puke without requiring a friend to hold your hair back, how to tip off paparazzi of your whereabouts and knowing at what point in your career to flash your vagina (usually 6 months after you find yourself out of work).

Source: theblemish.com

Dina Lohan’s reality show, in which she tries to make Ali Lohan a big star like Lindsay, but is actually a vehicle she hopes will rocket her to fame, is set to premiere on Memorial Day. The first episode shows Dina helping Ali along with her new album. Because it’s a given that if you’re in any way related to a star, you can sing.

In the premiere, Dina is also shown surfing the web for anyone talking trash about the Lohans. Hopefully, she finds my site. *Crosses fingers*

“I don’t live my life every day going, ‘Oh, they’re talking about us,’ ” Dina snaps. “I’m over it. Yes, it still does hurt, but people are just idiots.”

“Oh God, everyone’s talking about Lindsay’s intervention,” she mimics in a valley-girl voice. “This is so stupid. They better not talk about Ali like this, or there’s going to be war. I’m like a lion with her cubs.”

That’s all well and good, but what really solidifies Dina as mother of the year is when she left her kids to go party and later found out her house caught fire while her kids were sleeping.

And mom’s right there with the bad girls - leaving the kids at home to carouse at a party thrown in her honor, only to discover that her Long Island house had caught fire with her children asleep inside, says a source close to the family.

When the family hits Las Vegas to record Ali’s first album, Dina meets with Hefner at the Palms and allegedly “allows herself to have a little fun” during a dinner with magician Lance Burton.

As far as self-serving parents go, Dina’s right up at the top. She’d sell out her own kids for fame. And, surprise! She did. I’m pretty sure at the third episode, she’ll have the show focused entirely on her. Eventually, instead of helping her daughter succeed in showbiz, the whole series will turn into a bunch of screen tests for scripts Dina penned herself.

While you’re eagerly awaiting the premiere, here’s Lindsay in a bikini. Also, a preview clip of the show below.