Thank goodness Scientology is around to cure all of society’s ills. Who needs a professional psychologist or addiction medicine expert to help you battle your increasingly debilitating drug addictions when Xenu can jiggle your brain juices around and spruce you right up? Jeff Conaway, star of such hits as “Grease,” “Taxi,” and more recently “Celebrity Rehab” has had quite the challenge sobering up on the reality show. In fact it’s been downright painful to watch him, and has served as a pretty brutal reminder why it’s a good idea to avoid drugs all together. Jeff was wheelchair-bound for much of the show, and suffered horrible convulsions. Most of his speech had to be subtitled for viewers, and it was nearly incomprehensible. He had to be admitted to the hospital for detox almost immediately. Unfortunately Jeff didn’t complete the program, and left after the seventh episode. Over the years he’s been a frequent patient of Dr. Drew Pinsky’s, the host of “Celebrity Rehab.” But apparently all Jeff really needed was a little help from Xenu’s brain-reading machines, because he claims Scientology has finally cured him.

Inside Edition sat down for an exclusive interview with former Taxi star Jeff Conaway, who says he has finally kicked his drug habit by practicing Scientology. According to Conaway, “I’ve been doing Scientology…my doctor was like, Holy cow, he says whatever you’ve been doing keep doing it because it’s really working.”

Conaway says his former Grease co-star John Travolta introduced him to the controversial religion. “John and I stayed friends but he couldn’t watch me going down the tubes…he gave me a whole library of Scientology books and he’s given me an auditor who comes almost every day.”

Conaway, who lost over 40 pounds while participating in VH1’s Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, tells Inside Edition he can’t wait to get back in front of the camera. “I’m going to be strong and healthy and totally together. I’ve got to get ready for my Academy Award.”

[From Inside Edition]

Something tells me the doctor Conaway is referencing is not the good Dr. Drew – who I will admit I have a daddy-issue-based crush on, but I’m sure would spit in the face of Scientology regardless. It’s great that Conaway’s talking positively and expecting big things of himself, a la Academy Awards. But I seriously doubt something as illegitimate as Narconon (Scientology’s anti-drug program, which is named to make it sound legitimate – note that it’s “onon” not “anon” as in all the Alcoholics Anonymous-based programs) magically cured all of Conaway’s many complex addictions. The man was like a walking anti drug ad. Mostly because he literally couldn’t even walk. They should show clips of him to kids in the DARE program. As much as I’d champion anything that helps someone battle such life-destroying demons, let’s not be fooled into thinking drinking some barely water and popping some vitamins has cured the poor guy. Clearly he’s desperate for some kind of change, and that’s great. But it means it’s time to call up a good rehab facility, not John Travolta and Kirstie Alley.

Here is Jeff Conaway and his girlfriend Vikki Lizzi at the 18th Annual Night of 100 Stars Gala Viewing Party at the Beverly Hills Hotel on February 24th. Images thanks to PR Photos.

There was a photo in this week’s OK! Magazine of Gwyneth Paltrow out with Apple, 3, and Moses, 22 months, on Feburary 9th in NY. It was captioned “Gwyneth Paltrow, 35, visits the Kabbalah Centre in NYC with her children.”

It was the second time that Paltrow had been seen at the Kabbalah Centre this month. She was photographed sneaking out a week earlier on February 1.

Is Paltrow about to get bilked by Hollywood’s second favorite cult? It’s possible. She might have just been visiting her good buddy Maddona there. The “Raising Malawai” star-studded fundraiser for Madonna’s charity was held on February 6, and Madonna would have been in town around that time. Paltrow didn’t wear a red string bracelet to the event, but since she went to the cult headquarters twice it makes it seem like something is up.

Back in 2004 there was a story that Paltrow had pissed off Madonna by rejecting Kabbalah, but maybe the bossy pop star gradually wore her down with promises of stress-free days and a newfound purpose in life. Paltrow seems susceptible to that type of spiritual hokum.

Paltrow has a new public service announcement out for UNICEF. She provides the voice over for a clip emphasizing the need for medication in the third world to prevent the mother to baby transmission of AIDS.

She is shown outside Madonna’s Raising Malawai fundraiser on February 6, thanks to PRPhotos.

Whenever we write anything remotely critical of Scientology we invariably have new commentors chiming in saying that there’s some sort of religious bigotry involved and attacking other people on the thread and the authors. It’s pretty obvious these people are cult members although they deny it when questioned. We now may have our answer with insider information about how Scientology goes about trying to silence critics on the Internet.

Tory Christman was a member of the “church” of Scientology from 1969 to 2000, and reached the upper levels of the organization, having achieved OT7, or Operating Thetan Level 7, one of the top levels possible in the cult. She said she worked her way up through Scientology and was able to pay for courses through an inheritance from her mother in law, who was also a cult member. She was cut off and declared a suppressive person when she started to question the way the cult operates, including limiting the reading material of members and ordering her to stop taking her epilepsy medication, which resulted in Grand Mal seizures. She’s dedicated to exposing the abuses of the cult, and although she’s not a member of the group anonymous who is currently organizing worldwide protests against Scientology, she’s encouraged by their efforts.

Christman has been interviewed by CNN and NPR and has been quoted in the LA Times. In a radio interview with “Point of Inquiry,” a weekly show produced by the Center for Inquiry in Buffalo, NY, Christman described how she was actively involved in silencing detractors on the Internet using multiple screen names and accounts:

You were part of the opposition to free speech [on the Internet]
Exactly, I didn’t know it, because they’re very good at lying and tricking people and that’s how they get people to do things, and they said “We can’t tell you, ’cause you’ll end up in deposition if we tell you. So you just go open these anonymous accounts and we’re going to do what we’re going to do to handle these evil, horrible people,” and I was like “ok” and I was kind of like, It was my best friend, I trusted this guy implicitly, right? So I was doing it, I’m opening these accounts, they had scared all Scientologists off of the Internet, so no one was reading the Internet, and really frankly they put a Net Nanny on the Internet so none of us could read the Internet. If you typed in anything the bad stuff wouldn’t come up.

In the 90s, I was part of that. They tried to shut down a newsgroup where people who had left Scientology were talking about Scientology, and Scientology themselves tried to crash that newsgroup…

I was OT 7 and I was in their top secret gang, right? Which is on the Internet and still is to this day I’m pretty sure covertly lying about trying to distract free speech off the Internet that had anything they didn’t want seen on the ‘net, they’re trying to drive it off the ‘net or put down anybody who says anything negative about Scientology…

I was in their top secret gang, where I was opening up these phony accounts… They’re complaining about anonymous. It’s like Hang on! These guys are way more covert, doing way more nastier things.

[Transcribed from mp3 of interview on Point of Inquiry’s web site]

Christman came off as sincere and dedicated to exposing Scientology’s abuses. She said it’s not about the belief system, which isn’t any stranger than any other religion as many people point out, but about the way the cult cuts people off from their family members, denies them needed medication, and threatens and harasses detractors. Scientologists regularly make up wild claims and spread rumors trying to discredit anyone that dares to question them, and sue and threaten people they consider enemies under the “fair game” doctrine proposed by failed science fiction writer and founder, L Ron Hubbard. There are also many suspicious deaths and suicides of former cult members and critics, as Christman points out in her interview.

As for Scientology members themselves, Christman said that of course there were kind and friendly people involved in the cult. She compared their situation to the movie “The Truman Show,” in which you’re going through the motions in a closed set without knowing what’s going on behind the scenes. She told interviewer D.J. Groethe that she never had any kind of discussion with fellow members questioning the tactics of the organization during her 30 years of involvement. She said “It’s a high crime to speak about Xenu in Scientology. They can declare me an SP [suppressive person.]” Once you’re declared a suppressive person, you’re cut off entirely.

The group Anonymous continues to fight the abuses of Scientology, with particular attention to the way the cult tries to cut free speech online. In a press released they declared:

The so-called Church of Scientology actively misused copyright and trademark law in pursuit of its own agenda … They attempted not only to subvert free speech, but to recklessly pervert justice to silence those who spoke out against them.

According to Mike Walker in the National Enquirer, who isn’t the most reliable source but manages to come up with zingers about the celebrities every week (which would probably be impossible if all of it was true), Rosie O’Donnell pissed off pint-sized Tom Cruise by telling him that she read the very unflattering biography of him recently put out by Andrew Morton. The story is that when Rosie ran into Cruise at Madonna’s Kabbalah fundraiser, she blurted out that she had read the book but didn’t believe any of it. Tom got pissed that she had even read it and had the tenacity to tell him about it, and stormed off:

Rosie O’Donnell… rushed up to her idol Tom Cruise, planted a wet kiss… and instantly stuck a foot in her big, fat mouth! Babbling about Brit muckraker Andrew Morton’s controversial new Cruise bio, Rosie barked: “I bought that book, but don’t worry, Tommy – I don’t believe a word in it!” Stunned and speechless, the InterGalactic Lord of Cruise Control finally gasped: “You actually went out and paid money for that book? I can’t believe you’d buy that book – and then actually read it!” Sputtered Rosie: “I – I had to read it… so I could give my opinion if I was asked about it.”

My spywitness says Tom lashed back: “No one cares about your opinion. I don’t care about your opinion!” He grabbed wife Katie Holmes’ arm and stormed off, leaving Rosie red-faced [and] humiliated.

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, Mike Walker’s column, March 3, 2008]

Sounds like someone is pretty touchy about that book if this story is true. In this photo that came out of Rosie posing with Madonna, Lourdes, Tom and Katie, Rosie is off to the side but everyone looks perfectly happy. Rosie blogged after the event that:

my tommy was there
handsome as ever
he makes me smile
i love that guy

[Rosie’s blog via Just Jared]

You would think that Tom would handle that better, but maybe not. As it is, this story sounds fake and there’s not much evidence for it, but it’s juicy enough that we couldn’t resist reporting it.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are shown in the header image at the First Annual Essence Black Women In Hollywood event on 2/21/08, thanks to Splash News. They must’ve been working the crowd for Xenu. I really don’t like Katie’s hair like that. She’s one of the only celebrities who works the helmet hair, so she should embrace that and not mess with it like that. Those curls don’t suit her. She used to look so young with long hair.