Source: theblemish.com

According to Holy Moly, police are planning to question Lindsay Lohan regarding $49,000 worth of missing jewelery from a magazine shoot she did in London. Sources say Lindsay seemed a little too interested in them during the shoot.

“She kept going on about the jewels asking if she could have them. We all thought she was joking!”

After realizing their stuff was missing, the jewelers contacted the magazine who told them they had no idea what happened to them. They then contacted Lindsay’s reps two weeks ago, but have heard nothing since. Now they’re handing it off the police.

Lindsay probably stole it. There was a report earlier this month that Lindsay is so poor that she’s been pawning rings, watches and other jewelery at shops like the Beverly Loan Company aka the “pawnshop to the stars”. She probably stuffs it all in her vag so no one notices. Like, she’ll be walking out and there’ll be all this clanking coming from her uterus and security will ask her what that sound is and she’ll tell them it’s her belt and security will say, “But you aren’t wearing a belt,” and then the last thing they’ll hear is “clink clink clink” as Lindsay runs off.

Here’s Lindsay Lohan at the AXE Lounge. Don’t even ask me what she’s wearing because I have no idea. My best guess is she forgot she was going out and on the way there kicked a 9-year-old’s ass for that shirt.

Source: theblemish.com

Surveillance footage was released of Pearl Jam bassist Jeff Ament being robbed and attacked outside of Southern Tracks recording studio in Atlanta. Last month, three men appeared from out of the woods behind the studio and attacked Ament and Mark Anthony Smith as they were rolling up in a rented Jeep.

In the video, Ament can be seen scrambling out of the passenger seat before being chased down and beaten. He was said to have suffered a gash on his forehead.

The robbers took $3,000 in cash and $4,000 in electronics and other goods. No arrests have yet been made. Authorities say the criminals knew Pearl Jam was recording there and most likely planned the attack.

Quick thinkers like me would have never let it get this far. As soon as I see three figures rushing towards me, I first make sure to shriek like a little girl and then throw my wallet at them before falling into the fetal position. They say a true samurai never has to unsheathe his sword. That’s me. A true samurai.

Source: theblemish.com

Tila Tequila’s stalker allegedly broke into her house, locked her dog in the trunk of her car and Twittered: “I just broke into her house, killed her and her dog. Logged onto Twitter to tell you guys. She was signed on already. Tila Tequila is dead.”

The Tweet turned out to be fake, but apparently the break-in was very real. The actual Tila posted later that someone broke into her house, smashed everything in her living room and locked her dog in the trunk of her car. She also posted that she will now be moving out because she fears for her safety.

Makes perfect sense because no one will be able to find her new address even though the paparazzi will be standing right outside taking pictures of it. It’ll be like she never existed. From her Twitter:

“Pt1 This is Tila. I am deeply sorry for the earlier post about me being dead. I don’t know who logged into my account and wrote that.”

“Pt.2 but someone did indeed break into my house. It’s been a very scary night for me. it’s 4:10am now and have been dealing with it all.”

“Pt.3 too much has happened. I am scared, exhausted and drained but I am ok! Want to apologize to my fans who were worried about me”

“Im moving into a different house very soon because I have a stalker who is very much so endangering my life at the moment….I love u all.”

“They Broke everything in my living room….EVERYTHING IS SHATTERED! I’m so sad right now….this sucks.”

“Then I found my dog locked in the trunk of my car!!!!!!!!!! I’ve been crying all night. THis is fucked up. I’m sad and shocked and bye”

Congrats to the neighbors. Their plan of forcing that little gremlin out of their neighborhood may have been a little extreme, but it worked. As they say, you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs or, in this case, everything valuable in Tila Tequila’s living room.

[ONTD, Radar Online]

Source: theblemish.com

On Friday it was reported Vince Shlomi, better known as the ShamWow guy, was arrested last month for felony battery. Shlomi was taken in after assaulting a prostitute. Vince told cops he paid a lady of the night, Sasha Harris, $1,000 for “straight sex” during a night at a Miami Beach nightclub. When Shlomi kissed Harris, she “bit his tongue and wouldn’t let go.” Shlomi then repeatedly punched her in the face to make her let go.

Harris suffered facial fractures and lacerations to her face. Security called the cops when Shlomi ran into the lobby bleeding. Both of them were drunk and were both arrested for felony aggravated battery. Prosecutors decided not to file formal charges this month.

And if that wasn’t exciting enough, TMZ managed to obtain the pictures of Sasha Harris after the altercation. Oh. Dear. God. That’s disturbing. She looks like an aborted fetus. And why is she naked in one of the pictures? Am I supposed to be turned on right now or horrified? Can I be both? Another photo of Harris after the jump.

Source: theblemish.com

Rapper T.I. was arrested in 2007 and charged with possession of three unregistered machine guns, two silencers and possession of firearms by a convicted felon. Today he was sentenced to one year and one day in jail for those crimes. He has 30 to 60 days to check into prison.

All those guns are a little overkill. Usually on my dates all I need is a really big knife. T.I., you’re doing it wrong.

Source: theblemish.com

The LA City Attorney has charged Kanye West with vandalism, battery and grand theft stemming from an incident on September 11 at LAX where Kanye smashed a photog’s camera. Also charged is Kanye’s manager, Don Crowley. He’s facing two counts of vandalism, two counts of battery and two counts of grand theft.

If convicted, Kanye could spend 2.5 years in jail, Crowley could get 5.

I can see it now. Kanye has already enabled the caps lock on his keyboard and is about to smash it with both hands until coherent sentences start forming on his screen. By tomorrow he’ll have three paragraphs of “MPO AW;FM WAJF 9302FD SLFDAFEW” followed by one line of “THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!!!1111!!”

Source: theblemish.com

Remember Coolio? He had that resurgence in Dangerous Minds and then fell off the earth. Anyway, he’s back in the news again. This time not for a catchy hip-hop song in a Michelle Pfieffer movie, but for being in possession of crack cocaine at LAX.

Coolio was heading through security to board his Southwest flight to play a concert at the Flytrap Music Hall in Tulsa when a screener discovered the coke on his person. He wasn’t too thrilled and “got physical” with the screener. LAX police then booked him.

He should have done what everyone else does and hid it in his rectum. Try getting a poorly paid screener to put his hand up there. Especially when you swear to them you’ll enjoy every minute of it.

Source: theblemish.com

Amy Winehouse has been charged with assault and will appear in court later this month to answer to claims that she punched a dancer at a charity ball last September. Sherene Flash, the victim, said the incident occurred when she asked for a picture with Winehouse. Amy agreed, but when Flash asked if her friend could also be in the picture, Amy punched her in the eye and ran off crying: “Life can’t go on. I can’t do this anymore.”

Total drama queen. Amy does the same thing when Starbucks gets her order wrong which is why half the servers there have black eyes. Sometimes she doesn’t even order anything and just comes in to punch them in the face. Serves them right for doing whatever it was they were doing at the time.

Source: theblemish.com

Those puppy dog eyes aren’t going to get you out of this one, buddy

Chris Brown showed up for his arraignment today amid a media circus. To everyone’s chagrin, it was over quicker than it had begun as his lawyers promptly postponed the hearing until April 6. Exciting, huh?

In related news, Rihanna’s father, Fenty, says ever since Rihanna and Chris Brown reunited, he and Rihanna’s other relatives have been unable to contact her. Rihanna’s brother said she changed her email and Fenty alleges that “somebody has a stranglehold on her.”

US: I know you’ve been speaking with your daughter over text. Is she no longer reachable?
RF: I’ll text the old numbers she had, and I call them. One girl answered, and she said, “This is not Robyn’s number anymore.” I asked, “Do you work for Robyn? Do you deal with Robyn?” And the girl hung up, so I don’t know what’s going on anymore. I’m lost.

Us: What was her last text to you?
RF: [She] said, “Daddy, I miss you.” And that’s it. And I could not reply. I saw a number and texted back, “I miss you too.” And I didn’t get another reply from her.

So not only has Rihanna been seen only one time since that night, but now no one can contact her. She could be laying unconscious in a ditch or shackled in a makeshift dungeon. Nobody knows because apparently, Rihanna’s turned into some kind of mountain man and has secluded herself in a cave like Osama bin Laden.

But fear not, Chris Brown or one of his people updated his MySpace page. Maybe they’ll let us know what’s up with Rihanna. So, what’s the deal Chris Brown or person working for Chris Brown?

VOTE FOR CHRIS BROWN FOR KIDS CHOICE AWARDS!
Hey fans,

Vote for Chris on the Kids Choice Awards 2009 link provided below:

Favorite Male Singer
http://www. nick. com/..kids-..choice-..awards/vote. jhtml?..categoryVote=10

Favorite Song
http://www. nick. com/..kids-..choice-..awards/vote. jhtml?..categoryVote=12

Thank you for your support.

Hmm, well, that’s not exactly the update people were hoping for, but whatever. We should probably do what his MySpace page says until we find Rihanna. It might be a thinly veiled threat and, frankly, after seeing that Rihanna picture, I don’t want him to tell me twice.

[Image via Splash News]

Source: theblemish.com

New reports are surfacing that Rihanna suffered a pattern of abuse throughout her relationship with Brown. TMZ says that when LAPD interviewed Rihanna that night, she told them this wasn’t the first time Brown had abused her and that his attacks were becoming “more violent.” Also, additional photos were taken of Rihanna a day after the incident which are said to be much more “gruesome” as the bruising and swelling had finally set in.

Fox 11 in LA obtained detective notes from the case:

According to the notes, Rihanna read a three-page text message on Brown’s phone from a woman. An argument ensued and Brown allegedly tried forcing Rihanna out of the car but couldn’t because she was wearing her seat belt.

Brown then allegedly shoved Rihanna’s head against the passenger window. When Rihanna turned to face him, Brown punched her, then continued punching her while driving, according to the detective’s notes.

Blood spattered all over Rihanna’s clothing and in the interior of the car. Her mouth was filled with blood.

Brown allegedly told Rihanna, “I’m going to beat the **** out of you when we get home. You wait and see.”

Rihanna called her assistant and left a message saying, “I am on my way home. Make sure the cops are there when I get there.”

Brown then replied, “You just did the stupidest thing ever. I’m going to kill you.”

According to the report, Brown continued to punch Rihanna, bit her on her ear, her fingers and put her in a headlock — she almost lost consciousness.

Jesus. This is horrible. How many times has this happened because driving while beating the shit out of someone is not an easy thing to do. He must have started small and worked his way up to this.

Meanwhile, to save his career, Chris Brown tipped off paparazzi that he and Rihanna were staying at Sean Comb’s secluded mansion.

The two were staying at Sean Combs’ gated estate on Star Island, where such celebrities as Jennifer Lopez, Gloria Estefan and Shaquille O’Neal hide from their fans. A source said, “Chris tipped off the photographers. He needs it to be out there that he and Rihanna are back together. His only chance for a career was if she got back together with him, and he wanted people to see them there.”

The best thing for Rihanna to do here is invite everyone to punch Chris in the face. I’m not sure how more violence will solve anything, but I’m willing to try.