In the beginning of August, Christina Applegate discovered she had an early form of breast cancer. In an interview airing today, Christina tells Good Morning America, “I’m clear. Absolutely 100 percent clear and clean. It did not spread. They got everything out, so I’m definitely not going to die from breast cancer.”

Christina also reveals to GMA that she had a double mastectomy three weeks ago to completely rid herself of the cancer cells and will have reconstructive surgery.

“I’m going to have cute boobs ’til I’m 90, so there’s that,” she joked in the interview, which aired Tuesday. “I’ll have the best boobs in the nursing home. I’ll be the envy of all the ladies around the bridge table.”

Plastic surgeons are awesome. Fifty years ago, reconstruction would have made Christina’s breasts look Frankenstein-ish or Tara Reid-ish. Now we’re so advanced, you can have gel implants and they’ll feel like the real thing. I hear they’re even developing cup holders and flashlights for them now. Is there anything science can’t do?

Following a doctor ordered MRI, physicians have diagnosed Christina Applegate with an early form a breast cancer. Her rep released a statement that says as long as Christina follows the recommended treatment, she should make a full recovery.

If I were a doctor and I had to tell someone they had cancer, I’d do it in the form of a knock-knock joke. You know, try to bring some levity to the situation.

Me: “Knock knock.”
Patient: “Who’s there?”
Me: “Breast cancer”
Patient: “Um… breast cancer who?”
Me: “Breast cancer you. You have it! We need to remove your breasts. Hahahahahahha.”
Patient: “That’s not funny at all.”
Me: “Oh.”

Christina Applegate’s boyfriend, Lee Grivas, was found dead from a heroin overdose on July 1. Shocking. Christina Applegate has had a boyfriend? The National Enquirer writes:

A source close to Grivas told The National Enquirer: “Lee also had a long history of drug problems, dating back to his teen years. Christina broke up with him a number of times because of his struggles with getting clean. She loved him, but couldn’t stand by and watch him ruin his life.”

After the lovers reunited in April, Grivas left Christina in a last-ditch bid to get sober, according to the source.

“Christina loved Lee dearly and even dreamed of starting a family with him,” the insider told The National Enquirer.

I couldn’t, rather, I was too lazy to find a picture of Christina and Lee so here’s a somewhat related photo of Christina at the Over Her Dead Body premiere. What? Why are you giving me that look?

Christina Applegate recently told the sad story about how she was in an abusive relationship for three years as a young woman. When she had success in her early career as the ditsy blond Kelly Bundy on Married with Children, she was facing unbearable personal pain at home. She lived in fear of her first boyfriend, who would beat her in ways that left her personally shattered, but wouldn’t leave marks for others to see. She said she was “brainwashed” and desperate for help:

“I met what I thought was the most dynamic and sexy and wonderful, charming man that I’ve ever met in my entire life,” Christina told members of the Women’s Progress Alliance, a group headed by Nicole Simpson’s sister Denise brown.

“And from that moment on, for three years, I lived in fear for my life from the time that I woke up to the time I went to sleep.

“He had such a way of beating me that it wouldn’t leave any marks, because he knew everyone would know.”

Christina also told the women’s domestic violence group that she would hurt herself in a desperate cry for help, so people would notice her injuries. But then she wouldn’t have the courage to come forward with the truth.

“He basically brainwashed me,” she explained. “I almost lost my life.”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, December 3, 2007]

When celebrities speak out about their personal problems, they literally help tens of thousands of people who are faced with similar difficult circumstances. Good for Applegate for getting out of that terrible situation and not continuing the cycle of abuse in her next relationship, and it’s very brave of her to talk about it. Applegate was later married to actor Johnathon Schaech, but they were separated in 2005 after about four years, and divorced two years later. They remain friends, with a recent story that they were making out at a club after they met there unexpectedly.

If you’re trapped in an abusive relationship, tell someone and get help. I realize it’s not that simple when you have kids and/or a lack of resources, but you owe it yourself and your kids to figure out a way to get out. Here are the signs of an abusive relationship.

Vegetarian Christina Applegate is the spokesperson in a sexy PETA campaign against fur titled “Fur: Get Me Not.” In an interview on the PETA website about her new ad she explains when she became a vegetarian, saying that she saw blood on a plate when she was eating on the Married with Children set. She said “I looked down and there was blood on my plate, and it was that realization, that I can’t eat something that has been alive, I just can’t do it. So I stopped, and that was it. That was the last time.” Maybe that same kind of realization helped her get out of that relationship around the same time. If you are in an abusive relationship, you can do it too.

Christina Applegate is shown on 11/18/07 at the American Music Awards, thanks to PRPhotos.

“Samantha Who?” star Christina Applegate made waves earlier in the week when a story came out that she was seen kissing her ex husband at a club. Christina and her ex, actor Johnathon Schaech, were divorced last year after five years of marriage and when they ran into each other they “just started making out”:

Applegate, 35, and Schaech, 38, ran into each other unexpectedly at L.A. hot spot Les Deux on Friday night – and ended up having a close encounter.

“They just made out all of a sudden,” an observer tells PEOPLE. “They didn’t really look around to see who was looking, it just happened, but it wasn’t that weird after. They just went along talking to friends and separated soon after and both kept partying.”

The flirty former couple were also seen holding hands, but they each ended the evening with their pals. Applegate, who stars in the new comedy series Samantha Who?, was hanging out with her girlfriends Eva Longoria and Sara Ramirez, while Schaech was with his actor friend Clifton Collins Jr.

[From People.com]

That’s not that shocking and comes off like a sitcom plot rather than something that would actually happen, but good for them. What’s slightly scandalous is the news that Applegate admitted that she was married to a woman before she made it legal with her ex husband in 2001. She said in an old interview with Bikini Magazine that over ten years ago she and her female friend got hitched in Vegas. She claimed that they “took [marriage] very seriously,” but that they did it to prove a point about marriage and that it wasn’t sexual. It couldn’t have been legal, because gay marriage and same sex unions are not legal in Nevada, but it sounds like they had a ceremony:

The Anchorman star has been exposed as a former lesbian thanks to a forgotten interview in little know Bikini magazine, where she talks openly about her same-sex romance a decade ago, before she wed now ex-husband Johnathon Schaech.

Applegate told the magazine she ‘wed’ a girlfriend in Las Vegas to “prove a point about the whole marriage thing, and how the bond between two women surpasses the bond between two men.”

She added, “We got married at a club one Vegas night, and we took it very seriously - rings, rice, the whole bit.”

But she insisted there was no sexual relationship. She told Bikini magazine, “We’re not like that. We’re like the two most heterosexual women who ever lived.”

[From ContactMusic via Fark]

Did she tell this story because she was afraid it would get out and she wanted to tell it her way? It could have happened like she claims, but it all sounds pretty suspect. Lance Bass was married in Vegas in 1999 to get free drinks, and it’s not out of the question for two people who are just friends to get drunk and stupid enough to get married. If they weren’t more than friends they must have been obliterated enough to think that getting married was a good idea. Since it apparently wasn’t legal, it’s not like they had to get it annulled or anything. I wonder if was weird for them the next day and if their “friendship” suffered as a result.

Christina Applegate is shown on 7/27/07 at the ABC All Star Party at the Beverly Hilton Hotel. Thanks to Splash News.