Source: theblemish.com

Britney Spears is dating someone who might not be a total douchebag, her agent Jason Trawick. Not only that, her father, Jamie Spears, has given him his nod of approval, licked his lips and said, “Daddy like.” Creepy.

“They’re very sweet together,” the source says, adding that Spears “always had a crush” on Trawick, who is also one of her brother Bryan’s best friends. “He makes Britney really happy, and he’s great with the boys.”

This seems all find and dandy, but a lot of questions remain to be answered. Questions like can Jason live up to Britney’s first love: ham, cheese and deep fried Oreos packed between two slices of buttered sourdough? I imagine it’s set the bar pretty high.

Source: theblemish.com

It amazes me that Britney’s people are still under the impression that they can market her as “sexy”. I assume that’s what they’re attempting to do in these leaked photos from the set of her new music video for Gimme More. These are about as erotic as shots of a naked, weathered 50-year-old housewife cleaning the front porch window with a squeegee. Just look at the header pic. Not sexy at all. It looks like they were waving a chewy chocolate chip cookie in front of her to get her to do this.

Source: theblemish.com

A good way to get your ass kicked in school is to dance like how Jayden James and Sean Preston did to Toxic during a music break during Britney’s tour. This may be surprising, but if you’re a dude, writhing around like your mother isn’t something other guys find “cool”.

Source: theblemish.com

Apparently, Britney Spears stumbles around in a blind stupor most of the day. Which explains why an Elle magazine shoot she did during her Circus tour turned into a disaster. Sources say Elle dressed Britney in “beautiful couture clothes” — I’m going to assume they’re worth a month’s rent — which were ruined by the end of the day. How, pray tell? To put it mildly, she forgot what time of the month it was. To put it bluntly, she leaked uterine blood all over them.

Before you say anything, I’d like to point out this is a marked improvement. Usually Britney ruins designer clothes by dripping ice cream over them from her onset Popsicle break and rubbing her greasy hands over them after polishing off a bucket of KFC. Notice the absence of food stains in this story? If anything, she should be commended.

Source: theblemish.com

Holy crap. Are those abs? Those things haven’t been heard from since 1999. They’re probably wincing in pain because they haven’t seen sunlight in 10 years.

Source: theblemish.com

Has anybody thought that Britney Spears would make the perfect dinosaur? She has those thick, muscular legs, an insatiable appetite and is slow and lumbering. If we were in the Prehistoric Era, I have no doubt that cavemen would try to spear her.

Source: theblemish.com

During a performance in Connecticut, a psycho fan skipped onto the stage to dance with Britney during “Womanizer”. Britney wasn’t too thrilled. You can tell because she freaked the hell out. She acted the same way someone acts when someone jumps them with a knife in a dark alley. Funny because this guy is the most flaming dude ever. Just tell him his pants make him look fat and he’d break down in tears. Security eventually caught him by baiting a fish hook with a pair of hot pants and held him for the night in a private room backstage.

Skip to 2:17 into the video to see the freak out. Animated gif of the incident under the cut. [ONTD]

Source: theblemish.com

In reality, what you see here isn’t Britney’s tampon. It’s the string handlers pull to make Britney walk and talk. Clearly, this model has malfunctioned. Where does one get an RMA # for a life-size Britney?

Source: theblemish.com

Britney Spears performed in Oakland last night and during her performance where some guy falls from the sky to lift her from a chair, part of her extensions broke off. That or it wanted to escape the vast emptiness of Britney’s head. But that wasn’t the most shocking part of the show. No, the most shocking thing was the tensile strength of the wire used to suspend both the dancer and Britney in mid-air.

Source: theblemish.com

A 26-year-old superfan named Miranda Tozier-Robbins, a contestant on American Idol’s 5th season, was arrested Thursday morning for sneaking onto Britney’s private property wearing camo, carrying a backpack and video camera and peeping into her windows. Security noticed her trespassing and asked her to leave. She refused and had to be physically escorted off the premises.

She has since been released on a citation and is due in court on June 16.

On Robbins’ AI audition, she sang “Everytime” by Britney Spears and on her blog profile wrote, “I have issues but I’m working on them.”

Britney was not home at the time of the incident, but once she heard about it, she rushed home to make sure her stash of Cadbury eggs were OK. Whew. They were. Those things are seasonal, you know?