Source: theblemish.com

Are The Pussycat Dolls even making music anymore? I don’t think I’ve heard anything from them in a while. Granted, I don’t listen to the radio. That’s how Satan recruits his minions.

What’s up with the blonde? She looks sort of homely without the 10 gallons of makeup. If you bought her a drink, she’d probably think you were proposing to her.

Source: theblemish.com

I’m more excited about slamming my penis in a car door than this. Heidi Montag’s sexy face looks like she just huffed a can of gas and now parts of her brain are dying.

Source: theblemish.com

Continuing with today’s The Hills theme, here’s Audrina Patridge romping around Cabo in a bikini. She’s with her new boyfriend or whatever. Luckily, she’s wearing sunglasses to cover up her doll-like eyes. That way when you stare at her breasts, you’ll feel like just a perv and not a creepy perv.

Source: theblemish.com

These pictures of Chanelle Hayes in a bikini will hopefully make up for the Megan Fox toe thumb and Phil Spector wig-less posts yesterday. Hopefully with these, those will just be a distant memory like that grandmother your family sent to the retirement home. What was her name again?

Source: theblemish.com

Here’s Geri Haliwell on vacation with her boyfriend in Italy. Her stomach freaks me out. I don’t know why. It’s like a mole is coming out of her bellybutton. Don’t ask me why she’s checking out her vagina either. It’s probably a girl thing. Sort of like how they use the restroom in the middle of a date and never come back. “Girl problems,” I always tell myself.

Source: theblemish.com

As you stare at these photos of Kelly Carlson shooting scenes for Nip/Tuck in a bikini, just remember that she gets paid far less than the person in the post below. Doesn’t seem fair, does it? I thought Hollywood was all about rewarding attractive people who have a bare minimum of ability like the ad I posted on Craigslist looking for an “actress” said. You’d think I’d revise my ad now that I know this, but no, I bought this HD camera to trick a hot chick into having sex with me in exchange for a starring role in my fake film, not an ugly chick.

Source: theblemish.com

Here are a few more shots of Eva Longoria vacationing in St. Tropez in a bikini. While a lot of them are unclear, the blurriness does enhance the stalker effect of the photos. Um, I mean, if you’re into that kind of stuff.

Source: theblemish.com

It’s that time of year again. Eva Longoria and Tony Parker have hit the St. Tropez waters. Here are some shots of Eva and Tony jumping overboard into the ocean. Presumably to distance themselves from the dead body they woke up next to that morning.

Source: theblemish.com

Kristin Cavallari pretty much disappeared off my radar for a year. Now that she’s on The Hills, she’s back on it. What does that mean? Well, she can expect calls at 4 AM in the morning consisting of heavy breathing and a big gulp before the phone hangs up. Also, expect a mysterious, handsome stranger pacing back and forth on the sidewalk in front of her house shouting, “OMG! OMG! OMG!”over and over again.

Source: theblemish.com

We’re doing this now? Usually this stuff is reserved for A-listers or D-listers with a nice body and big boobs. Now we have to watch Kate Gosselin romping around the beach with her bitch face? She doesn’t look happy in any of these pictures. There’s one where she has a big smile, but that’s probably it. It’s not posted though. It’d ruin the theme.